*** this post was originally written for my other Blog
http://eternalsunshineofthesplitmind.blogspot.com/
i thought it would serve purpose over here. my early beginnings with the Christ Energy is important to this blog autism and the Crystal Baby.***
ever since i can remember, and that's a long time now.
I have have had a strange spiritual connection to the world.
i do believe that the divine is ALL of our beliefs in one womb of energy.
me and jesus. and God at the nightmares i had. my grandfather being an artist at wood carving gave me this wood carving of the crucifixion of jesus at the age of 11. I treasured it when he gave me the carving, not because of jesus but because my grandfather gave it to me.
I was not raised christian, but everyone else was raised Christian at school. and i thought that was the way.
when i arrived home with the carving , i hung it up in my wall with great pride.
maybe a few years went by, and then one day the dreams started or should i say nightmares.
my confession..
i would dream and dream of the crucifix that my grandfather carved me. and then oneday, the crucifix carving of jesus began falling off the walls and shattering into pieces. i would awake and see the crucifix still hanging on the wall. the dreams would continue and haunt me. recurring once a week.. could you imagine the fear i had? i was dreaming of jesus shattering to the floor..
it was just awful. i had no one to talk to.. in my young mind, i did not understand why this beloved jesus kept terrifying me.
i decided to go to church with my little friends as a way to get out of the house, and maybe to get the jesus thing to an understanding. at that time i did not.
several years after that, i found myself pregnant with my first born son. and his aunt at the time insisted that i needed saving through jesus christ the lord and savior. this aunt is paternal, i would like to add..
i remember her sitting me down and her and two older women began praying over me, asking me over and over,, do you take jesus christ as your lord and savior? and i just said "YES!"
now, this was a turning point for me in my life spiritually. I actually felt Jesus , but what happened next is odd.. Jesus only decided to enter my spirit partially. I felt him, but he did not save me. I remember in my mind, "this is NOT right" and Jesus exited from me.
i did not speak EVER of this, letting the women know i was okay...
i went on for years, kinda lost spiritually...
then believe it or not, strangely witchcraft came into my life... witch craft spiritually fed me. i learned to meditate and get a grasp on my energy. I was told Once in a coven full moon gathering, that I could move mountains with that energy. I did not understand that either.
my life was full of fairies, and gnomes, and i was adored by the Gods. as, i have been my entire life....
one afternoon in my mid twenties i was in the middle of an afternoon nap. i was drifting between the veils of the world....... and then. Jesus appeared to me in my home. i did not know what to do?? my eyes were beholding Jesus Christ,i remembered that christ energy from when i was"saved" so, i just bowed on my knees. I thought that was what i was suppose to do. Right?
I remember looking up to Jesus, and Jesus shook his head NO at me, he didnt speak but his intentions came through my spirit, jesus said" stand up child. and look at me in the Eyes. and i did. what was jesus telling me? maybe i didnt have to bow.
i knew after that i had a solid relationship with Jesus. But not as a Christian. funny....Right?
or if you are Christian you are probably praying for me as we speak. if you think you heard laughter you did.... it was me!
i dont think there are many christians who can say they have had a Face to face with Jesus!
if i am ever asked about being christian? i always say, i am not christian, but i know Jesus really well. tadaaaa
I cant be a Christian, i do not believe Jesus wanted the church to become a business, and put fear into people. Jesus just wanted Love and Peace...
on occasion i will meet a person who is naturally connected with pure love for jesus and that's cool, i can beam up that spiritual energy.. i love my abilities. I am able to Tapp All Spiritual energy. why limit yourself, the spirit does not..
plz, readers,christians, and people of all faiths..
take some time today and think about humanity. and our mother earth, she's not very happy right now, and she's been a rumbling....... and that's never good, as we have lost thousands of lives because of it.
send your goodwill thoughts and prayers to the people who need it the most.
in her i know i am one
Monday, March 28, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Hoping for Hope
even though i been feeling like the biggest Bitch lately. i have been so tired..
our world is at a big unrest.. it seems every moment I think of the sadness for Japan. God Bless those people. the earthquake and tsunami devastated to biblical portions for the People of Japan. The Japanese are remarkable, at the showing the world Humanity at its best.. sitting together quietly in a shelter trying to to keep warm. it is sad to think at the suffering that is happening...their villages have been left a muddy wasteland.
I will keep Hope in the new Idea of the next generation. the star children. I believe that if we teach these Star Children about the genuine truth, that We are All Humanity.. We are all the same color underneath. We are all People.
what can i do? i can be a good mother to Phoenix. and teach Phoenix tolerance and love to All People. Beginning Phoenix's lesson at home, learning of tolerance and love for his family. Teaching a Crystal child that a family will not always see eye to eye but the love always remains in the Home is a lesson taught daily..
maybe This is just All bigger than Me.
My Hope keeps me going,, the next generations can make a difference in the way we view our world our People,our humanity our hope.
please say a prayer, say a prayer for the Japanese.. and one more for Peace..
our world is at a big unrest.. it seems every moment I think of the sadness for Japan. God Bless those people. the earthquake and tsunami devastated to biblical portions for the People of Japan. The Japanese are remarkable, at the showing the world Humanity at its best.. sitting together quietly in a shelter trying to to keep warm. it is sad to think at the suffering that is happening...their villages have been left a muddy wasteland.
I will keep Hope in the new Idea of the next generation. the star children. I believe that if we teach these Star Children about the genuine truth, that We are All Humanity.. We are all the same color underneath. We are all People.
what can i do? i can be a good mother to Phoenix. and teach Phoenix tolerance and love to All People. Beginning Phoenix's lesson at home, learning of tolerance and love for his family. Teaching a Crystal child that a family will not always see eye to eye but the love always remains in the Home is a lesson taught daily..
maybe This is just All bigger than Me.
My Hope keeps me going,, the next generations can make a difference in the way we view our world our People,our humanity our hope.
please say a prayer, say a prayer for the Japanese.. and one more for Peace..
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
the self Model... the Autistic Crystal
let me get my mind right.. its like life has been a blur.
Phoenix has been attending his weekly private speech therapist. and during a recent session she recomended for Phoenix to begin self modeling. I think to myself WTH.. she asked me" do you have a video camera?" i think,,,,,,,, NO, i dont have a video camera... uh.. how much is a camera,, i ponder,, one more thing to buy... but... Phoenix's father was very happy to purchase a new electronic device to play with.. Self modeling is a video or picture of the child doing an action or learning an objective. and replaying, so the child can see himself and remember.
After Phoenix's birthday, we wanted to take him on a special trip to the ZOO. Phoenix is such the worshipped child by his father. Anything is his wish....
I was worried Phoenix would stray during the trip, and i did the unthinkable. I purchased for my Crystal Baby, A........ monkey backpack leash. the monkey is a little backpack with a zipper and the tail of the monkey serves as the Leash.
Safety....safety First.. then team work.. ;) I believe it was the best thing i ever purchased. we took Phoenix to see the Dinosaurs and gem stones, crystals and of course "The Hope Diamond"
Phoenix did not experience an overload or melt down around the ancient rocks and stones.
he had a great time, seeing an experiencing,different people and things.....
maybe his father kept him grounded.. idk. but it was fantastic.
Phoenix would point to the Giant elephant in the museum and say "look a there , elephant"
the day was recorded on the new video camera....
when we returned back to the hotel, Phoenix and his father went to the indoor pool for a swim. shew, when Phoenix entered the room the entire Pool was in, he screamed LOUD.
but when we he got in his father's arms and into the warm pool. he calmed down. it was late in the evening and it was just the two of them in the Pool. I was watching and recording phoenix swimming and jumping in the pool, it was self model time... I must say it was very serene looking on at father and son. i felt very much in the connected spiritual world.. heaven for me..
the next day we spent at the Zoo, father,son AND just me...A dream come true, really.
myself and my husband and one triangle loving four year old.
Phoenix has been attending his weekly private speech therapist. and during a recent session she recomended for Phoenix to begin self modeling. I think to myself WTH.. she asked me" do you have a video camera?" i think,,,,,,,, NO, i dont have a video camera... uh.. how much is a camera,, i ponder,, one more thing to buy... but... Phoenix's father was very happy to purchase a new electronic device to play with.. Self modeling is a video or picture of the child doing an action or learning an objective. and replaying, so the child can see himself and remember.
After Phoenix's birthday, we wanted to take him on a special trip to the ZOO. Phoenix is such the worshipped child by his father. Anything is his wish....
I was worried Phoenix would stray during the trip, and i did the unthinkable. I purchased for my Crystal Baby, A........ monkey backpack leash. the monkey is a little backpack with a zipper and the tail of the monkey serves as the Leash.
Safety....safety First.. then team work.. ;) I believe it was the best thing i ever purchased. we took Phoenix to see the Dinosaurs and gem stones, crystals and of course "The Hope Diamond"
Phoenix did not experience an overload or melt down around the ancient rocks and stones.
he had a great time, seeing an experiencing,different people and things.....
maybe his father kept him grounded.. idk. but it was fantastic.
Phoenix would point to the Giant elephant in the museum and say "look a there , elephant"
the day was recorded on the new video camera....
when we returned back to the hotel, Phoenix and his father went to the indoor pool for a swim. shew, when Phoenix entered the room the entire Pool was in, he screamed LOUD.
but when we he got in his father's arms and into the warm pool. he calmed down. it was late in the evening and it was just the two of them in the Pool. I was watching and recording phoenix swimming and jumping in the pool, it was self model time... I must say it was very serene looking on at father and son. i felt very much in the connected spiritual world.. heaven for me..
the next day we spent at the Zoo, father,son AND just me...A dream come true, really.
myself and my husband and one triangle loving four year old.
Friday, March 4, 2011
IEP spells Disaster
Happy Birthday to the little Phoenix!! He is now four years Old. I cant believe the Child is even here.. who would have believed in this miracle ten years ago.. that would have been no one but me................
with a birthday for Phoenix, comes his annual IEP meeting. and IEP is short for Individualized Education Program........ He has been in the public school system for one full year. If you asked if i saw any difference in him. IDK.. really? Phoenix is a different child when he is home, his mind seems to have no limits except in speech. he absorbs all the information around him in remarkable rates. Phoenix has learned some basic shapes, square, triangle, rectangle.. he will hold up the shape and name it and count the sides... but, then... One day at a Stop Sign, Phoenix looked at the Stop Sign and said " octagon " and counted to eight. I just shook my head..... What else is in that mind of his and he cant make words come out............ he has named shapes for his school speech therapist, it seems there has to be level of trust, between Phoenix and who ever he is sharing what he knows with.... Imagine...if he could tell you what he saw in his mind and dreams.
back to the IEP meeting...... Phoenix's Early Childhood teacher,School Speech Therapist, the Principle, and the JK teacher was there. I was good with Phoenix's progress and the IEP that the public school was offering. Until I realized why the JK teacher was there! the continuing plan for Phoenix is this. He will finish Early childhood class when he is five years old. He will Not be in a Special Education Class but into the JK class. I could not believe what i was hearing, Phoenix was going to be Held back, before he even enters kindergarten.
or he could go to the local Autism Center......... the principal said.....
UGG.. i felt mortally wounded.......... All because Phoenix is lacking Social Skills........ Damn, DAMN, Damn.. I thought.......
my first instinct was I wanted to Move! and sadness came over me............ I know Its crazy but its true.
but maybe just maybe, JK wont be too bad, At least the choice isnt mine to make.........
and the Goal of main steaming Phoenix will happen........... UP AND DOWN, goes the Emotions of an Autistic mother.........
with a birthday for Phoenix, comes his annual IEP meeting. and IEP is short for Individualized Education Program........ He has been in the public school system for one full year. If you asked if i saw any difference in him. IDK.. really? Phoenix is a different child when he is home, his mind seems to have no limits except in speech. he absorbs all the information around him in remarkable rates. Phoenix has learned some basic shapes, square, triangle, rectangle.. he will hold up the shape and name it and count the sides... but, then... One day at a Stop Sign, Phoenix looked at the Stop Sign and said " octagon " and counted to eight. I just shook my head..... What else is in that mind of his and he cant make words come out............ he has named shapes for his school speech therapist, it seems there has to be level of trust, between Phoenix and who ever he is sharing what he knows with.... Imagine...if he could tell you what he saw in his mind and dreams.
back to the IEP meeting...... Phoenix's Early Childhood teacher,School Speech Therapist, the Principle, and the JK teacher was there. I was good with Phoenix's progress and the IEP that the public school was offering. Until I realized why the JK teacher was there! the continuing plan for Phoenix is this. He will finish Early childhood class when he is five years old. He will Not be in a Special Education Class but into the JK class. I could not believe what i was hearing, Phoenix was going to be Held back, before he even enters kindergarten.
or he could go to the local Autism Center......... the principal said.....
UGG.. i felt mortally wounded.......... All because Phoenix is lacking Social Skills........ Damn, DAMN, Damn.. I thought.......
my first instinct was I wanted to Move! and sadness came over me............ I know Its crazy but its true.
but maybe just maybe, JK wont be too bad, At least the choice isnt mine to make.........
and the Goal of main steaming Phoenix will happen........... UP AND DOWN, goes the Emotions of an Autistic mother.........
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Pisces and Karmic Astrology
The typical Pisces Karmic destiny is one of change, variation and sudden shifts of fortune from good to bad. You may be on the top of the world one day, then slip into a a reverse and find yourself scraping the bottom.
The ancients knew of this Karmic burden carried by Pisces, but it is the twelfth house of the Zodiac, called the house of misfortune and self undoing. But take heart, your highly sensitive nature is intuitive and highly developed spiritually.
The symbol of your sign is two fishes-one swimming upstream and one swimming downstream. You can reduce your Karmic debts by making up your mind that you will constantly aim yourself towards the heights of idealism, beauty and good. In this way you will direct your concentration on swimming upstream.
Your ruling planet is Neptune, the sign of mystery that rules nebulous, strange phenomena and the dream world of unreality. You are changeable, vacillating, uncertain and often misdirected by people who are close to you.
Yet this sign is one of the most intuitive, psychic and spiritual of all the signs in the Zodiac. When you choose the upward path, overcome your tendency to daydream and escape responsibility.
You often sacrifice for others. Members of your family and your friends know they can depend on you; because of your kindness and inability to say "No", they often use you and abuse you. This can often bring difficulties as you do not want to believe that people can be evil or that they can harm you. When you do discover that you have been betrayed, you suffer deep hurt and become extremely disillusioned.
Pisces people are fascinated by the mystical things in life. You usually investigate astrology, metaphysics, Yoga teachings, meditation, psychic phenomena, spiritual healing and related subjects. You are a mystic in the true sense of the word.
Because of this tendency towards escapism, you may find yourself unable to cope with practical reality; problems regarding finances, romance, marriage and work often swamp you.
Your Karmic destiny is to build an inner spiritual strength and to rise above the physical and material forces of life. You will be guided to your right destiny if each day you withdraw into quiet meditation and ask for guidance from your higher psychic mind centers.
You tend to be touched by compassion for the suffering of humanity and you constantly strive to relieve the pain of others. The sign of Pisces has a great deal of personal magnetism to those born under this mysterious power.
Romance for Pisces
Your sign is very magnetic; you have a great ability to attract those who love you and want to be romantically involved. This is a great asset but sometimes can be troublesome.
Never rush into marriage until you have known the person for at least a year. Use this trial period to test the other person's character in various situations. You are highly sensitive to the moods of others so try to avoid people who are moody or depressed.
The signs of Capricorn and Taurus are too stubborn and hardheaded for you. They might shock you with their regimentation and outright actions.
The air signs Libra, Gemini and Aquarius might be too changeable and independent for your sign.
You are romantically attracted to those born in the water signs. Scorpio is an excellent sign for you, being loyal, romantic and passionate. But avoid a Scorpio who is not highly developed. They can sting you with their sarcasm.
The water sign of Cancer is good for Pisces. These people are highly sensitive, emotional and idealistic. But do not choose a Cancer who is overly moody and depressed.
With the earth sign of Virgo, your opposite, there will be attraction and detraction.
The signs of Leo, Aries and Sagittarius, all fire signs, should be avoided by Pisceans. They tend to be too strong and dominant for you sensitive, highly emotional nature.
The emotional water sign of Pisces is the sign of patience and tolerance for all people.
Brightest of Blessings,
Lory
Lory Woortman is a writer, water color artist and garden designer. Lory is interested in the study of quantum physics, Norse Myths and Religion. She lives in a small country town in North East Pennsylvania with her writer husband, Ellis and her little dog Dixie. Lory has a blog and written many articles that are "Free," pertaining to Norse Mythology, Shamanism, Runes and Quantum Physics.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lory_Woortman
Cure Autism
this story has been lurking in my mind for months now so here it is..... one day i was in a parking lot and i glanced at the car beside me, and there was a " cure autism ribbon" on her car. i thought to myself, "CURE AUTISM really? " and the thought of curing Autism boggled my mind.. but then Last night I realized maybe the "Cure" would be for the lost fathers out there. As mothers we seem to understand Our autistic Sons . but for the fathers and dads out there.. i wish the cure would be for the father's hearts to be healed. Autism effects a father deeply.. dreams,, a fathers dream for their son to be in their own image...
As Phoenix grows his speech continues to improve. but not fast enough for Phoenix's father. i feel awful for my husband when a Typical child is around him and Phoenix. IT is So Very clear the difference.. and i feel my husbands hurt.... Please find a cure for that Pain.
Phoenix on the other hand is fine. he is talking and is almost Potty trained. Phoenix is Crystal and we cant cure that either......... Sensory is crazy... if you have a crystal child as sensitive as mine, bless your heart.
today is the first day of April... its Autism awareness month... if you are lucky enough to receive a hug from an autistic crystal child... take it.. its very close to heaven..
As Phoenix grows his speech continues to improve. but not fast enough for Phoenix's father. i feel awful for my husband when a Typical child is around him and Phoenix. IT is So Very clear the difference.. and i feel my husbands hurt.... Please find a cure for that Pain.
Phoenix on the other hand is fine. he is talking and is almost Potty trained. Phoenix is Crystal and we cant cure that either......... Sensory is crazy... if you have a crystal child as sensitive as mine, bless your heart.
today is the first day of April... its Autism awareness month... if you are lucky enough to receive a hug from an autistic crystal child... take it.. its very close to heaven..
Thursday, February 17, 2011
the wish.. American Tax payer
if i were to have a wish for my Autistic son, my little crystal child, Phoenix.
i know this may be seem strange for most of my readers, but here is the wish.
the wish for my son is.. to one day Become an AMERICAN TAX PAYER!!! i do not wish for my son to be a burden on medicaid funds, SSI checks, Food stamps. and this is exactly what will happen if we do not change the Tides of the Autism trend. Insurance companies are denying speech therapy, occupational therapy. and anything and everything that is.. Autism. my husband works for a Large and Powerful company in the United States. and That company ALSO says NO to Autism treatments and the company owns the insurance company. here is the only example of insurance coverage for Speech Therapy...... the person would have to be injured, i.e. car wreck, and loose their speech, then, and only then will speech therapy be covered. I have read that parents of autistic children have faked injuries to cover speech in desperation.
"oops JOHN DOE fell down the stairs and lost his speech" BAM speech therapy is COVERED!
Phoenix's per session (not per hour) is $120.00 so, if oneday Phoenix cant make it through an hour his speech therapy session is over. thats...... $120.00 funny right?
some parents can not afford the cost of speech therapy.
where i am, Phoenix is in an early childhood class in the Public school system. and he has a speech therapist provided by the school.
through most of my reading, being a parent of autism.... the earlier and intense therapies work best the younger the child. that's why Phoenix has a private therapist along with the school therapist, and he is in the early childhood class.
God has provided opportunities for Phoenix in so many ways. God put us here in this good Place for Phoenix.
I dont know, but autism is such a mystery. the autistic children are like snow flakes, NO TWO ARE ALIKE. I also believe this to be true of the Crystal children. no two are alike
and as for the wish. Phoenix, when you are old enough, i pray that everything we have done for you amounts to you becoming an AMERICAN TAXPAYER, and not a burden on the state.
i dont understand AMERICA???
pay for Autism therapy NOW, and gain an American tax payer later....
or NOT?
i know this may be seem strange for most of my readers, but here is the wish.
the wish for my son is.. to one day Become an AMERICAN TAX PAYER!!! i do not wish for my son to be a burden on medicaid funds, SSI checks, Food stamps. and this is exactly what will happen if we do not change the Tides of the Autism trend. Insurance companies are denying speech therapy, occupational therapy. and anything and everything that is.. Autism. my husband works for a Large and Powerful company in the United States. and That company ALSO says NO to Autism treatments and the company owns the insurance company. here is the only example of insurance coverage for Speech Therapy...... the person would have to be injured, i.e. car wreck, and loose their speech, then, and only then will speech therapy be covered. I have read that parents of autistic children have faked injuries to cover speech in desperation.
"oops JOHN DOE fell down the stairs and lost his speech" BAM speech therapy is COVERED!
Phoenix's per session (not per hour) is $120.00 so, if oneday Phoenix cant make it through an hour his speech therapy session is over. thats...... $120.00 funny right?
some parents can not afford the cost of speech therapy.
where i am, Phoenix is in an early childhood class in the Public school system. and he has a speech therapist provided by the school.
through most of my reading, being a parent of autism.... the earlier and intense therapies work best the younger the child. that's why Phoenix has a private therapist along with the school therapist, and he is in the early childhood class.
God has provided opportunities for Phoenix in so many ways. God put us here in this good Place for Phoenix.
I dont know, but autism is such a mystery. the autistic children are like snow flakes, NO TWO ARE ALIKE. I also believe this to be true of the Crystal children. no two are alike
and as for the wish. Phoenix, when you are old enough, i pray that everything we have done for you amounts to you becoming an AMERICAN TAXPAYER, and not a burden on the state.
i dont understand AMERICA???
pay for Autism therapy NOW, and gain an American tax payer later....
or NOT?
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