Thursday, August 25, 2011

the Incredible Sense of Balance

The little crystal baby Phoenix is back in school. and i am back at my desk. wow, it feels great to have a clear mind. shew, Phoenix was a handful this Summer. but, i think we worked hard on his letters and numbers, which he absolutely loves, loves,loves, letters and numbers. he always has. even his speech therapist has mentioned to me his incredible love of Letters and numbers. Phoenix his now beginning to learn the sounds of the alphabets. its been very easy for him. With Phoenix's visual learning abilities, and fantastic music internet phonics videos, played over and over. Phoenix is learning fast. sadly, Phoenix's early childhood teacher told me she did not know yet if Phoenix would go to junior kindergarten or to a special education class. Phoenix's teacher explained to me that J/K is academically driven. i think to myself "WTH" Phoenix will not stay still in a chair for longer than 10 minutes, so,, yep. I am sorry my four year son cant stay STILL! Right?
But, Phoenix, can write his name and his letters. oh, why, does Autism have do be so Complex and emotional?...

I would like to share with you today something I have been noticing more and more with Phoenix. It is HIGHLY noted that Crystal Children have an incredible Sense of Balance.
I have noted on this Blog somewhere, i am sure, when Phoenix was about two years old, he began to climb on top of our dining room table, and walk to the edge of the table and balance off the table,tipping his toes forward. it was incredible to witness, my sons girlfriend even noted it.
it was completely normal for Phoenix to do this. balance off the ends of furniture. I thought this is what was meant by, Crystal Children have an incredible Sense of Balance........
to my surprise, this summer. Phoenix began doing another type of Balance.
Phoenix can Flip and Cart wheel, and Now, he stands on his head on furniture and balances on his head, with his feet and knees and he moves back and forth like a clock pendulum.
Its incredible, its like he is in perfect motion and Balance with all that IS......
that incredible sense of Balance is, not What I thought it was. It's Not What I thought AT ALL.
Its not only Phoenix's ability to to Balance off a table, or balance a tight rope, or balance across a Balance Beam in gymnastics.
Its the Balance of All things.
Phoenix is Mastering Balance more and More everyday. Balance. and not by me. I dont know where he comes up with what he does. How did he Know to stand on his Head and Swing his body in perfect Motion and Balance. You would now believe how happy and content Phoenix is when he is balancing upside down, on his head with his legs and feet perfectly placed to balance back and forth for minutes upon minutes.
Crystal Children are incredible. Balance is so important. I have never seen a child, my child, who needs both of his parents every single day. again, balance....balance everything that is Balance.




Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Summer is about to end

Phoenix has consumed me this summer. day in and day out. Phoenix, Phoenix ,Phoenix. My son. I dont think you realize how much energy it takes to be a Mother to one of these Crystal children. I knew before he was born, he was going to be a handful. I feel like i am loosing my mind.
I think i will be able to Remove this Summer writers block. the last day of school seems like a life time ago. I feel like i have been gone from Autism and the Crystal Baby for So Long.
I have been struggling with writing lately. I know where i am needed. and its here.
Autism , the Gift of Autism, the Curse of Autism. Or Simply Phoenix Does Not Like to talk verbally. AT ALL. Phoenix would be happy if he didnt have to say another word.
next week, school begins, Phoenix will return to School, with new classmates. and Typicals, Typicals. I just want to hide sometimes. My Phoenix is not like your typical Four year old. and I feel Like the entire world Knows and Sees it. I can Not second guess myself. I have a lot to write. and then there are Parents who need to find me and read.
Phoenix is four years old. He can write his name. and can write and draw, letters and numbers and can read a few simple words. its Unbelievable what Phoenix is capable of. his mind has been like a sponge over the last four years.
I will try not to stay away for so Long...........................

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

That Transition thing..........

the summer blues are setting in. its hot in the mountains with not much to do.
Phoenix is growing and learning faster and faster. he can write his name. he calls it drawing his name. he can also draw his letters and numbers. its strange ,i can tell he imagines how to draw his letters in his head, as Phoenix thinks and puts thought to paper.
every weekend our neighbor has her grandchildren over. there's about four Typicals.
They always Invite Phoenix over to Play. Phoenix just runs away, and could care less about those children. I just try to smile as they ask Phoenix to come over.
its hard to handle but, I overheard the Children talking about Phoenix. One of the children said to the Other. " Phoenix DONT LEARN RIGHT!"
its crushing.. its things i dont understand. my son can do things typical children can not.
Maybe he does learn right but differently, and his memory is that of an elephant. he never forgets anything, except, he does forget how to use his words. and that would be the only thing, most of the time i believe he chooses not to use his words on purpose.

I know i am not the only parent of an autistic child that has felt this way. Yes, its clearly obvious my son is different than yours. he is nothing like your typical four year old.
as of late, transitioning from one task to the other as been dreadful. me and Phoenix's dad took him on a vacation to a waterpark. and Phoenix Loved it. he didnt understand when we left one pool, that there would be quickly another pool to visit. Phoenix would have a FULL on MeltDOWN when he left each Pool. He could not wrap his head around the transitioning from Ride to Ride ,Pool to Pool. I am sure people thought Phoenix was the biggest brat in the entire world. and at that moment i did do. my entire Body ached from head to toe, trying to pick him up or drag him around. I am sure Parents of autism understand when the kid becomes a limp noodle, and will not walk. I dont know how other parents handle this situation. all i know, is to bend down and pick Phoenix up kicking and screaming. and I calmly tell him we are going to another pool. oh, We all had the best time, but when Phoenix arrived at the next pool, he was happy again.
i do feel like I am on my own alot. its pretty lonely , most people have never been in the presence of autism. and they just do not understand. my family does not understand autism, simply because they are not around Phoenix enough to get to know him.
Transition is hard. Some parents use pictures for transition, but thats just to much for everyday situations. Phoenix's speech therapist recommended a timer with a beeper, to signal when its time to transition to something else. it works during speech therapy, we shall see

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Simply Jedi..

I dont know about this. i still dont know how or why.
Phoenix and I were going shopping. he was in the cart being quiet for once.
we were shopping row by row. Down the juice isle we go. i needed some mix in energy drinks so, i am browsing for my favorite flavors, and i am rather close to the to boxes of mix ins.
the isle beside us had marshmallows, which are Phoenix's favorite. I think because marshmallows are mushy and Phoenix's sensory fingers love rolling the them between his fingers.
anyway, I grab my energy mix ins and look back at my child, and he has a bag of marshmallows in his hands. i could not believe it. but quickly as i begin to wonder how in the world Phoenix managed to get the marshmallows in his hands, a lady and her cart came behind me and i had to get out of her way. and the marshmallows left my mind as i needed to get out of walmart's crazy first of the month shopping day.
i began to wonder more and more about how phoenix got the marshmallows in his hands. i went back to walmart to see how the marshmallows were arranged in the isle. and low and behold the marshmallows were on the bottom 2 shelves. phoenix was in the cart, it was impossible for him to reach them.
I dont know how it happened. i will never know how he got the marshmallows in his hands. scenario after scenario has played in mind. but none make sense.
Phoenix, simply Jedi...........

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

the Crystal Seeker

Phoenix is off to camp this week. and he has been having a blast. everyday there is painting and swimming for ages 3-18. All these children at camp have certain disabilities. everything from autism to down syndrome. what i have realized through all my four years of parenting My crystal Baby is that I have been Placed in My Life to seek Crystals. WOW, i must say. I just had another Crystal Child appear to me.
yesterday, i was dropping off Phoenix at camp. along with other parents. and One of the Parents Just asked me, So, What's his Diagnoses? I just turn Around and look at the Parent, "Autism Spectrum Disorder" the Parent was Like Really. then the Parent looks at the lady beside me and Says " i think Your Daughter has Autism."
I think to Myself ... WHOA! Daughter + Autism = a Girl Child with Autism.. hmmm,
I asked the Mother of the Girl.. "can She Talk?" the mother said "Yes"
i looked at her and Said " that's Asperger's Syndrome!"

as the children were waiting in the Van this morning
something told me to start asking Questions about this little girl.
I could not help myself, I was being sucked in by this little girl.
How old is she? how many siblings?
then her mother started telling me everything i needed to know...
she even mentioned she needs to go outside and take long walks..

the girl is twelve is years old meaning She would have to be the Very First of the Crystals to arrive . the year would be 1999 Usually you would think at this Age you would have an Indigo/Crystal combo on your hands. Her energy Lacked the Cutting Energy of an Indigo. I have two Older Indigo Sons and I am very familiar with that Cutting Strike you Down Energy.

this Crystal Girl, Has Huge Black EYES. her eyes look like mirrors. when she looks into your eyes she steals your heart and grabs onto your Soul. She Placed her hand on the Van Window and said to her Mother " Mommy Mommy I love you!" it brought tears to my eyes.

I feel like i just found My favorite baseball player in a pack of baseball cards. its a spiritual RUSH,
to find Crystal child.. But,,, A GIRL!!!!

Which Brings me to wonder today. Its pretty rare to Find an Autistic girl even with Aspergers Syndrome. at least for cities i have moved too. and i will move again.... and again
i think that there is High Possibilities of these Girl Children Diagnosed with Autism being actual Crystal Children.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

a Free Lunch

i received a notice in Phoenix's Book Bag. it Said "FREE Breakfast Free Lunch" i was thinking What in the Hell? i couldnt believe it!! the school Cafeteria is staying Open All Summer So the Children can Eat. the children do have to find transportation to get to the Cafeteria to Eat.
Summer after Summer, i have struggled to find Phoenix something to do, and find Typical Children for him to be around. Day after day i went to the Park, and there would not be anyone there.
here's a chance for Phoenix to be around Typical children in a Social Situation. Lunch time.
I would feel so strange showing Up for the Free Lunch! but i wouldnt be showing Up for a Free Lunch. I would be showing UP with Phoenix to be around Typicals. God, i would feel Shameful, As i have a refrigerator Full of Food, and a drawer full of Ramen noodles. Phoenix's favorite. I only give him half the seasoning packet, its full of yucky sodium.
its one Hell of a thought.
I dont know if i have it in me to show UP with my son..
A free Social Situation.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Cold Spots in my House

my house has been driving me crazy lately. maybe just too much time in the home.
there have been more and more Occurrences of Cold Spots in this house. as usual, i dismiss them everyday, but this morning, the Cold Spots Sent me into Chills and my hair stood up. I thought to myself "what the Hell" this is becoming a problem ,this house must be a ghost's playground.
you probably think of this as outside the normal. But, Every One, Including yourself, have experienced something ParaNormal. From normal people claiming to have seen a UFO, to ghost encounters. something strange has happened in your Life. think about it, maybe, you Dismissed IT just like I have, Over and Over.
god, help me at the things I have seen over my life time. unbelievable things have happened, right before my eyes and I loved it. When i was a Young Witch i used to believe I could do Anything With Great Confidence.
I used to believe I Could Rule the World.. Spiritually I walked with Gods. When you Do that and get to that level spiritually, you just continue to walk. some people feel that Divinity with Good Ole Jesus. most people are familiar with Jesus. i bet Jesus is Thanked over one million times a DAY!
THANK YA JESUS!
i wish jesus would come get these ghost out of my house. they are beginning to bother me.
back in the day, i could call a team to get them out. but i am so far away from that life NOW.
I am On MY OWN, everyday. and i am okay with that.
i need to focus on Why the Ghosts continue to want their presence known.
from Cold Spots, to faucets turning On, door knobs turning, its happening here.