Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Everyday I see my Dream

Phoenix and I have been doing a lot of adjusting lately. Going to a new school has had its challenges. Phoenix's classroom is a lot smaller than the classroom he had last year.
Depending on what mood he is in varies day by day. Usually he is super pissed when i drop him off. And i mean pissed. Shew. When i drop him off at school, he runs to the class rocking chair and sits there and screams. Some days it is just a wimper when i drop him off, and he will sit and pout for a few minutes, then start his day with his classmates, and then some days. Phoenix cries so loud you can hear him in the next room. but, today was a really good day. Phoenix, instead of running to the rocking chair, he joined in with his class and begun his day, without being so pissed at the world. its amazing how Phoenix gets his point across....
at the beginning of school, the school ran a Lock Down drill. In case a crazy person invades the school. Well, all fifteen students and two teachers were in the classroom bathroom. imagine a tiny everything size bathroom for toddlers crammed packed with 8 typical and 7 of the delayed children. with the lights out.. my child had a mega melt down when the lights went out. Phoenix's showed the power of his lungs and vibrated the teachers ear drums. I was told you could her his fear in his voice. i know from experience that when Phoenix's sensory issues are aggravated , the emotion of fear can take over. it seems like once an emotion of his shows within him and directed out , the emotion is amplified.
Everyday it seems like I can see Phoenix's Autism showing itself and to others. He is just different than other children his age. Plain and simple. After the Lock Down Drill, Phoenix decided he wasnt going to use the bathroom in his classroom. I think now, after a couple of weeks he is doing better. But he was so pissed, he went on A Potty strike at school. he refused to pee at schhool
parenting a crystal child is hard work. and getting the crystal children main streamed is even harder work. when i was dreaming of Phoenix all those years ago, in my dreams, there were white picket fences, and tall glorous oak trees. with a little golden hair little boy sitting beneath it.
i had know idea why?

Monday, August 30, 2010

maybe some day

just as i thought, Phoenix had a terrible meltdown on his first day of school. he ran to the classroom bathroom slammed the door and started screaming as loud as he could. Phoenix was also the first one of the children to open the door and run out of the classroom.
i know he will adjust soon.

there's a lot of news today about autism's link to vaccines. the court of appeals struck in down again.

i dont have an opinion on the vaccine autism link. my son was not one of the children who were born typical, then received a vaccine, and then slip into The autism Spectrum.

When Phoenix was born, he was born On the Spectrum. I kept asking my husband over and over why isnt he crying?... I heard not a sound from him. but what i saw was huge deep black eyes starring back at me. it was if he was communicating through his eyes.
I believe his autism began right then.
I remember the nurses giving him a 5 and 6 on the apgar scale. i think that what its called.

Phoenix has a special gift, i havent figured it out yet. maybe some day

Sunday, August 29, 2010

school begins

tomorrow the little Phoenix returns to school. thanks goodness its a new school, and he will not have a meltdown on the way there. probably when i walked out of the classroom do, he will begin to scream. i am so nervous. the set up of this classroom is different than his last one. there is no safety gate or anything to keep a child from opening the door and escaping the early childhood compound. my Phoenix moves like an Indian, (feather not a dot) he swiftly and fast.

I am a nervous wreck,, i dont want Phoenix to rebel and have a regression, because of starting up school.

i cant wait to see some positive results from using the fish oil in Phoenix's milk.
the Phoenix,
my dreams for you this school year
make some friends
play with others
make it in the end of the year school program play for parents
put more words together
be a good boy

there will two other children in his class with autism. 8 or 9 typicals.
we will see,
let's go speech therapy!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Summer Blues

it has been one wild, busy fast summer. my goal this summer was to have Phoenix potty trained before school. he was doing fine, UNTIL that pesky little term called REgrEssion, had to put a shroud over my Phoenix. Autism and regression, seem to go hand in hand. we can not escape it.
Phoenix was going pee and poo finally. i was so happy and proud. getting the communication down with the potty training was as hard as you think. but anyway, i degress.
I had to go get my other son, yes there is another, from PA. we took a road trip, Damn Road trip.
when we got home Phoenix would peepee just fine, but not the poo poo, can you imagine, I was so happy about Phoenix's progress potty training, then, a road trip plus autism = regression.....

Phoenix is talking ok. he is saying more and more words. Its like, thinking to myself.......
he just has a hard time moving his tongue to form words. its pretty interesting watching and listening to him.

today we were outside,Phoenix and me. I watched this child pick up a bumble bee, he picked it up by the bees wings. can you imagine my horror looking at this child, he held the bee up and looks at him and lets him go. now, he does this reguraly with butter flies. NothInG happened, the bee just flew away.. I dont know...
I dont understand it, but Phoenix decided he was going on a kissing spree. he was not kissing me either, he was kissing the flowers. maybe because Fall is sneaking up on us. and the Flowers will be gone soon

its Back to School time. I must say, I will be glad to see Phoenix go back to school. Speech therapy will begin again. and he needs it.........

Thursday, July 22, 2010

here and there

the last month as been a whirlwind for me and Phoenix.
he loved going to the special kid camp. Phoenix learned to tolerate the cool lake water. he gets in his little swim ring and floats and floats. kicking his little feet here and there.

My butterfly garden is a great success this year. Phoenix Loves to chase butterfly. even when the butterflies are eating, he will walk up to them and pick up a butterfly and then let it go, it is an amazing site to see him interacting with the butterflies.

Potty training is go okay. we are still at the same place we were last month. getting him to go poo poo in the potty has been hard. he has done it a couple of times. i dont know if its the Autism that is making the potty training hard or if its just Phoenix. we keep on trying and trying though.

keeping Phoenix busy over the last month has been a task. from going to the Park, swimming ,shopping, playing in the garden.

we went as a family to the nice seafood buffet, last saturday, and Phoenix hated the restaurant. I dont know if there was to much noise, to many people, i just dont know. it was very expensive, and his dad was pissed, that Phoenix screamed the entire time. we couldnt take it anymore so we left the restaurant hungry...
the next night we went to another restaurant and Phoenix was fine
Phoenix just gave us a friendly reminder, he is autistic.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

No News is good News

Phoenix has been going to a special kids camp this week. on the first day at the kids pick up point, i swear i could barely keep it together. i think i packed and repacked Phoenix's camp bag 5 times. making sure he had everything. All i could keep telling myself , was NO news is Good News... over and over. I know the camp would call if Phoenix could not handle it. but all is going great. there are a couple of children Phoenix's age.

Phoenix is learning to swim in the lake this week. they said he loves the water and never wants to leave the lake..

it was so hard letting him go to camp. but priority is getting him around as many children as i can..

we received a reminder notice for Phoenix's Autism appointment. My husband refuses to take Phoenix back to the doctor that diagnosed him with Autism. he thinks that the follow up appointment will be a waste of time and money.
he is probably right when you think about it.
there is no medication to help Phoenix's Autism, which if there was a medication, i dont think i would have him take it.
what could the doctor tell us really........ "okay your son still has Autism, and that will be $199.95 please."


We are seeing positive results from school and him being around the Typicals...
his vocabulary is around 100 words right now.
which is fabulous.

after camp this week, i have to find something for Phoenix to do the rest of the summer.
I tried the library, there is no story time there. i was super mad, because the library had a sign for story time...

Monday, June 14, 2010

Locked in

i am just kinda of sitting around today and these waves of rainbow energy keep penatrating my spirit today. Spending the day today with Phoenix. he is napping at the moment.
I wonder today??
I wonder if a demon has stolen his speech. or maybe an evil witch from the past placed this hex spell on him. or, Autism stole his words.

Phoenix hears everything, but still has trouble saying his words.
Phoenix tries so hard to talk to me. He will babble made up words that sound like jibberish to me. his voice is in there, i know it, it just seems like he is Locked in.

I have been giving Phoenix fish oil omega 3. One capsule a day for maybe three weeks now. I have noticed that
His words are growing more and more. He is finally beginning to say three words phrases. We are still working on the potty training. It is hard to potty train when he cant tell me when he has to go. He is getting it though.. believe it or not. we are half way there.