Friday, May 28, 2010

i can hope

no summer school for Phoenix. Budget cuts have been deep here for the school system. school will be out for two and a half months. with no speech therapy. that means, i will have to work even harder with Phoenix this summer. i think he will be okay. he still has 2 more years of early childhood to go. a lot can happen within that time. my goal is to him mainstreamed by kindergarten. that's a big goal, but his vocabulary is steadily increasing. I can hope.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

the good and just strange

today is the day i find out if Phoenix made it into summer school. it would seem to me that the school would provide speech therapy for him over the summer. Autism and regression go hand in hand. You constantly have to work with Phoenix's speech. It is so strange. what comes to us naturally in human communication and speech. Phoenix has to really work hard to say his words. He actually understands words, and what they mean. He just can not verbalize. ??
Phoenix has become more and more loving. He is now kissing me. Not only is he kissing me, but the trees in the yard, the flowers, the bushes. He was kissing the plants way before he would kiss me. I still wonder what that's all about.
today when i dropped off Phoenix at school, i noticed the teacher's dog in the class room again. it's freaking crazy. i take the good in this, and think to myself, she's Phoenix's teacher, and helping him with social skills, making friends, and basic preschool skills. so, i let the dog issue go.. balance right? the good and just strange

Saturday, May 22, 2010

placebo effect

Phoenix has been receiving his fish oil supplements. I cut his dosage in half again. i dont want to overdue it. Its only been a couple of days since he started taking it. and his eye contact has improved. I do not know if that's the placebo effect of the fish oil, but it sure is nice to be able to gaze into those eyes of his. I feel like i can see to the ends of the universe when i look into his black eyes. the benefit of a crystal child.
i read it takes around 12 weeks for you to get the omega 3 built up in your system. that's the entire summer. speaking of summer, Phoenix is getting ready to be out of school for the summer. wow, i have a big job in front of me. Phoenix's dad wants him to go to the YMCA for the summer. i dont think they can handle him and his autism, i really dont. Phoenix is in a class of 15 and he has an assistant all to himself. He is not a bad child. he just doesnt follow directions. he has a hard time sitting still. Library seems to be pretty hard on him right now. he has to be quiet and sit still. i think that would be hard for most three year old boys.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Fish Oil

I was posting information over at Autism Articles and a came across several articles on the topic of Fish Oil and Autism. Omega 3 is what the vitamin is called. The fish oil is suppose to help calm, aid in concentration, and their behavior is suppose to improve, A lot of mother's use fish oil as a supplement for their adhd children. I dont know, but i like what i read. the Fish oil is like a wonder pill. but it also reminds me of the snake oils of the early days. Crazy salesmen would be peddling their snake oils to heal what ailed the sick. The snake oils probably gave sick people Hope when they had no hope. Is that where i am with the Fish Oil? is it giving me hope?
I will post Phoenix's progress with the Fish Oil. He has just started taking it. I bought the Nature made 1200mg no smell Fish Oil. Two capsules equal a serving to get to the 1200mg dose. I only give Phoenix one capsule at a time. I just pop a hole in the capsule and add it right into his strawberry milk cup. So far he has not noticed the oil in the milk. I only give it to him only twice a day, and some of the oil sticks to the cup.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Field Trip

Phoenix had his very first field trip with the his early child hood class and the junior kindergarten class went too. there were thirty very small children, ages three to five years old running around everywhere. we went to a historical train museum. there was a train engine and cabooses to look at. Phoenix's autistic sensory issues kicked in when the steam horns went off. He was again in the terrified mode. but he quickly calmed down today. Phoenix loved riding the miniature train around the train yard. At first he was squirmy and fidgeting and fighting me, he did not want to sit down on the train. I just held him down, he was going to ride this train. finally the conductor got the train going, and when we got moving Phoenix realized he loved riding the train. He was in heaven. we went around the track three times. When the train ride was over he did not want to get off. it was a wonderful thing. we then went into the museum and there were two beautiful cats. Phoenix just loved them.
after the kids finished riding the train all the kids got on the bus and we took off to the park.
all the children sat on the benches. the classes separated to eat lunch, but i could see the jk class. it was a sea of soda, among the jk, i could not believe my eyes. the parents of the jk must have brought the soda. I also saw a big tub of brownies for the jk. thank goodness nothing like that was brought for the early childhood class. over all Phoenix experienced something new.
i think the best part of the day for him was when he was chasing the bird in the park......

Thursday, May 13, 2010

more Blast

I received a notice from Phoenix's school about an early childhood, jk kindergarten play. I was so excited to see Phoenix interact with the other kids. I wondered to myself what he would be doing since he cant communicate well. The day came and me and Phoenix's dad went to the play. We were thrilled to get to see him. But when the Play time came, Phoenix was no where to be found. His dad went to his classroom.. there was Phoenix sitting by himself with a pile of blocks.. I felt crushed... why was Phoenix not in the play? the teacher nervously told us the kids had been working on it all year. and Phoenix arrived in March and wasnt ready to be in a play. oh, i thought. She told us she was sorry and should have told us.. REALLY? Phoenix wasnt even allowed to go see the Play. I know he can get disruptive because of his Autism. but it still just sucked for me and his dad. he had left work to see the Play. we felt like Phoenix was entirely left out . I am still not happy about it. but i guess i can try to understand what happened? and learn from it.
another thing that's bothering me about Phoenix's teacher... She brought her dog to school. the dog stayed all day long in the classroom. I just happened to see her and the dog at an afterschool function. she was holding the dog and walking around the school yard with it. I could not believe my eyes. it was weird. She even told me shes allowed to bring the dog to school.. Whoa, i mean i love dogs and everything. but i dont think you should bring your dog to school.... one word, allergies... i know there has to be kid in that school thats allergic to pet dander.
no harm no foul, i guess

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


its been a roller coaster of a month for me. i never imagined how much energy it takes to mother Phoenix and keeping my energy balanced at the same time. it has been exhausting for me spiritually, emotionally, physically.

Our visit to florida was emotional for me. Almost all emotions were felt by me.Every single emotion activated . I was so wore out when i came home, it took me weeks to return to balance. I can finally write after everything has come into focus.
My husbands family lives in florida. so i got to visit with my mother in law and stepdaughters, and poor grandma.
When i was with my husband i felt at ease, when we went to a wonderful restaurant by the river. Phoenix was quiet and ease at the restaurant. but earlier in the evening my mother in law had plans to meet her boyfriend at some restaurant. the first thing i asked her , is it Kid friendly? in front of my husband, she said of course.. when we arrived at the restaurant, we walked through the doors, and, it was a Sports Bar... jam packed on a friday night. his mother insisted it was okay for us to eat there.after waiting for 45 minutes in this crazy bar for her boyfriend, my husband was Furious, it was 7:30 and Phoenix hadn't ate yet when it came down to it, she was only concerned about her boyfriend. I hated it for my husband. what was once was a negative night for my husband, turned into a fabulous evening. even Phoenix got a pretzel and peanut butter dip appetizer.
it was an unbelievable experience with my mother in law. from the wonderful time we had together at the yard sales to shopping. the gods were smiling on me that day..i stumpled upon 2 large temple rubbing complete with frame. I call them my girls.. now, whats better is i got both of them for $10.00. I was so happy, i almost cried. this all because my mother in law took me to yards sales. so that i was grateful for.
while me and my mother in law were having some girl fun, my husband went to go get his 16 and 17 year old daughters. and that was nice when we got to see the kids. and Phoenix got to see his sisters. Phoenix loved playing the back yard. Believe or not a raccoon came to visit Phoenix, right in the middle of this giant city. His sister even got some pictures of the raccoon on accident. She was taking pictures of Phoenix, and the raccon happened to be in the background. it was strange.
later that day we were all playing and Phoenix was playing with a ball. my mother in law said to me, you should go get him another ball from the house. I said to her, "he is fine with just one ball" then she looked at me at said I was stupid. i said "Really, why is that? " she just stormed off. at first, i just wanted her to explain why i am stupid, but then it dawned on me, she just called me stupid. just because i didnt want to go back in the house and get a silly ball. my husband just picked up the ball and started playing catch with Phoenix. and i joined. while i was throwing the ball, i just kept thinking, wow, she just called me stupid. I was crushed. later when me and my husband went into the house, we were alone, and he asked me, "did my mom just call you stupid" i said, yes she did. my husband thought he had heard that. but could not believe it and thought he had misunderstood her... i told him this. "people say dumb stuff all the time, and maybe she just had one those moments." he said maybe....
then the next day she called my husband dumb, for the way he was packing the pictures of my girls. oh, i would like to think that the stress of taking care of grandma after she fell, has taken its toll on her. maybe... just maybe.