Monday, April 19, 2010

wondering about..

My Phoenix has returned to school after a long battle with sickness. that virus-demon attacked the Phoenix to the bitter core..
wondering to myself, if the an Ocean visit would cleanse the soul. leaving for the beach soon..

Life's Crystal experiences are coming one after the other.

after an Easter visit with Phoenix's Half sister. I learned that she has the ability to receive telepathic messages from the little Phoenix. Phoenix would just jump off the chair at her suddenly without any warning. Then his sister started hearing his Voice in her head. He would message her and tell her to "Catch Me" "Catch Me"
it must be the Indigo-Crystal connection.

From my experience it seems Indigo's have the ability to receive telepathic messages or directly communicate with Crystal Children.
again, i dont know if I am an Indigo, maybe I am just intuitive.
What I do know is Phoenix has an Autistic classmate. This child is on a different part of the Autistic Spectrum. Every time I look at the child I wonder about him. Does he stay up late at night like Phoenix? Does he have sensory issues? Does he giggle by himself in the corner of the room ? Does he stack blocks? Is he crystal?
well, today I was walking in the school parking lot and passed the little child and his mother. of course i was wondering something about the child, this time Was he Crystal, because his eyes were not big and deep like Phoenix? just as i began to wonder and think more about the child, i turned around to get one last glance at him as he walked away with his mother. the child turned and looked me in the Eyes from 15 ft away and giggled then went back to walking. I have seen him so many times at school, and he never looks anyone in the eyes. but for a moment, just a moment. He chose to look at me, right in the eyes. if you ask me what i felt, i just felt connected to him in a spiritual sense. He gave me something though. A Crystal Confirmation. There was no doubt this child is a Christed one. I felt it.. and he is not even my own child. small miracles

During Phoenix's sickness he became a little artist. He has one those doodle erase pencil attached things with the slide that eraser. you know what i am talking about. Phoenix can now draw faces. It is weird. The pictures are so scary looking. but amazing. i am going to have to take pictures of his art. but before i can get to it, he erases it with a quick slide. then it is gone forever...

Thursday, April 15, 2010

No medicine please

i dont even know where my head has been for the last week.
Phoenix has been so sick. I will tell you now from experience. When this Crystal gets sick, Wow.. this is this is the third time Phoenix has been sick. when he was younger, he got sick with a double ear infection and running a 104 temperature. Phoenix was first prescribed Amoxicillin. you know that bubble gum medicine for kids.. And the medicine did not work, his fever had reached over 104 degrees. we went back to the doctor, and he pre scribed some white medicine, that was suppose to be stronger than the Amoxicillin. I started giving the new medicine to Phoenix hoping this would heal those poor ears.
But instead Phoenix broke out in hives all over his body. I am at my wits end at this point. I grabbed the little guy buckled him in his car seat, and drove as fast as i could to the doctors office. I got to the Doctor's office and they were closed!! I call his doctor's office from my cell phone and no one was there. I got to listen to there marvelous answering machine, telling me it was Friday and they closed at 1:30. As i looked at my watch it was only
1:00. Jesus, Really??? So, i rushed Phoenix to the nearest Urgent Care. The Urgent care took him right him. And the doctor's come to the realization to give a shot him of antibiotics. I was desperate by this point and said okay , bring on the shot.
Phoenix screamed in Rage, He had to have four people hold him down to get his shot. This kid is no joke. after 12 hours his fever broke and he was soon back to his curious self.

the second sickness rolled around about a month ago. Phoenix missed his entire last week of speech therapy. Another bout with his ears came knocking. Poor baby right?
i wanted to try Amoxicillin again, because it is not so strong.
Phoenix would not take this medicine. I got pink medicine all over me, him, the carpet.. Phoenix just power spit it out. He just refused it. then we got smart and mixed it in his strawberry milk. that was the end of that battle and he got better.

the third sickness, just rolled around. Phoenix was burning me to the touch. I knew i was facing another Battle to get him well again. I rushed him to the doctor. Phoenix's ears seemed to be fine, but we knew the cold would go straight to his ears and cause another double ear infection. Phoenix was you typical Crystal child, He required his doctor and two nurses to be held down, just so the doctor could take a peak in his ears, and listen to his lungs. The walls were literally vibrating from him screaming. I know he felt like his space was invaded. I tried to explain to him they were just trying to make him feel better.
The doctor recommended around of Amoxicillin. Okay, i can do this, i will just pay the 2.99 for the added flavoring for the medicine, and just mix it again with his milk. Right? wrong!
Phoenix refused to take this medicine. I tried mixing it with tea, milk, gatorade V-8 strawberry banana. Nope he wouldnt take the medicine. his fever then jumped to 104. So then i tried to force him to take the medicine by holding him down and forcing him to take it.
I got pink crap all over me, him, the floor,... what a mess... I couldnt believe it. Then i tried to reason with Phoenix.. I asked if he wanted to go outside? just take your medicine and you can go out. i knew for sure that would work.. But there was just no reasoning with him.. It was his way or nothing. and he wasnt going to take his medicine. he had decided.
Phoenix was getting sicker and sicker. I couldnt take it no more and called the doctor and asked for a shot to get him better. It was the same old Phoenix, call in the reinforcements, two nurses his doctor and me are holding him down so he can feel better.
He got the shot and now he is better again, and going to school tomorrow.
whew, what a kid

Sunday, April 4, 2010

the religion of Crystal

over the last week leading up to Easter has been extremely rocky for the little Phoenix. he has been energized beyond your wildest imagination. he has been a constant vibration or buzz.
no naps no rest time no time for me to breathe. maybe his excitement for egg dying and chocolate bunnies got the best of me..... not him.
with the warm weather closing in, our grass needed to be mowed for the first time. as soon as Phoenix laid his eyes on the lawn mower. his world was in melt down mode. He instantly was terrified of the machine. the lawn mower had not even been started up yet. and Phoenix was screaming and wanted to be held. . I didnt understand what went wrong, why he reacted like that. all i know is it was bad. bad.. bad.. after i figured out what was causing his terror, i scooped him up and brought him inside the house and sat him on the couch. I wrapped him up in a blanket and held him as tight as i could. everytime i would try to move he would grab my arm and put my arm back around him. I could feel this enormous buzz radiating from him. I laid my head on his head, then i felt the buzzing getting stronger and stronger.. then i was surrounded by opalescence light. was it a dream to carry me into Phoenix's world? was it his aura? Phoenix takes me back to where i want to be.

its not far back to sanity...

sometimes i find myself contemplating...
do i hang on to the religion of Crystal?
my son is born a star child, of the Crystal children, Phoenix also has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
I dont know if i have made myself believe in the Crystal asscension as a religion or faith. Just to make myself cope with the Reality of my son's Autism. the thought of it makes me weep for myself and Phoenix. it is not easy facing the facts. my thoughts get the best of me.

if i look into the setting sun. i feel the light being eat by my darkness. nothing is real. living is easy with your eyes closed. it doesnt matter much to me..

Phoenix, my son you are very loving. I often catch you giving kisses to the trees in your yard.
you kiss the trees the way i wish you would give me a kiss. i guess the trees can do miracles for you.

Does heaven hold a place for you ? or do you create a heaven on earth just for you? its just another secret Phoenix holds..

i think its not to bad. nothing is real. i know when its a dream.