Showing posts with label autistic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autistic. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

dark time of the year

some days I am at a dark spot of emptiness in my self, its winter time in the mountains you know.the dark time of the year.
I am keep calling to the gods, do you hear me calling you. do you hear me calling you? you have always been there for me. I know you can hear me Now.
it will not be long now, and i will call to you No More.
My call to you will become screams. loud screams, begging you to break the curse of Autism.
it is the dark time of the year
i have lost all my thoughts and thrown them to the darkest of nights.
I do not know if Phoenix has improved. I hear his words. it seems i am the only one who understand his words.
Autism is his curse. Autism is my curse.
maybe, i wanted you so deeply madly,Phoenix. i caused your curse. my selfish love and wanting of one of my dreams to come true.
I have been told many, times, by different people in Phoenix's life. That Autistic children are gifted. I do not know what that gift maybe, for Phoenix. Phoenix's gift could be his mere existence into this world.
the warmth of Phoenix's touch. and the sweetness of his kisses.
how Phoenix came to be was not very simple. a miracle, the gift of his life. from years before conception until his birthday.
i waited so long, i will wait some more.
One day when the wind blows the right direction, I will hear three words from Phoenix. i love you.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

School for Early Crystals

Phoenix has been enjoying his Early Childhood class. He has been so excited to get to school lately. he runs to his classroom every morning.
I enjoy seeing the typical children as well as the special needs children. There is a grand mix of children in this years Early Childhood class.
The Early Childhood Class should be called School for Early Crystals.
Another crystal has appeared in the class. and Phoenix Found this one. A girl. She is one of the most beautiful children I have ever seen. the biggest clue of this crystal child, she has giant light blue eyes.
Phoenix grabbed this little girl's hand during playtime Outside, and ran with her to the bench, so, she would sit with him. Phoenix rarely plays with the other children. This was a Huge moment for Phoenix. I do not know what they could have been talking about. but, they were holding hands sitting on the bench.
Then Phoenix, pushed her to the ground and ran away.
Why did he have to push her down, when he had done, so, well communicating with her.
I worry about Phoenix, does he have a conscious?
He is four years old,I remind myself. hey, its hard to keep positive when your child has been diagnosed with Autism.
I try, All reason aside, I have not cried over it.
because I am reminded so graciously from god.
the book of Thomas. from the lost books.
we were all children once.
even Jesus was a child at one time.

School for Early Crystals
Phoenix goes to school to learn social skills and speech. this little crystal biggest skill to learn in school is Patience.
Phoenix has zero patience and he hates waiting in Line in school for things. His Zero patience has gotten him second place in the lunch room line everyday.
Maybe that was his goal to begin with.
I think All People hate waiting, and People hate waiting in lines in amusements parks,we hate waiting in line at the Grocery store. lines line lines
This a normal thing, but Phoenix does not understand the waiting. He thinks things are suppose to happen when he wants them to. snap snap

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

those Shoes have Heels

very curious a crystal child is.
anything new, they wish to observe, quietly, they stare. and sometimes they make a quick move.

I went to pick my autistic crystal up from his early childhood class. everyday, his teachers give me the run down on his behavior, his triumphs, and failures of the day.
this particular day, Phoenix was still napping. and it took me a while to wake him up.
his teacher finished with the other students and came over to talk to me.
she started speaking with a giggle, "we had a volunteer helper from the high school today and she was wearing stiletto four inch heels" and Phoenix was curious so very curious.
first the volunteer went outside to the playground and those heels were sinking into the playground with every step she made Phoenix was at her feet. Phoenix was curious, why was her high heels going into the ground. the volunteer then realized maybe she should take those high heels off. then Phoenix really was thrown off. you are suppose to have on shoes when you go outside. Phoenix kept trying to put her high heel shoes back on her feet. Phoenix had never seen shoes like that before.
when the children came back inside from playing, the volunteer put back on her shoes. Phoenix was at her feet by now, closely examining the heels of her shoes.
the volunteer decided to walk away and as her heel went up Phoenix grabbed a hold of the heel of her shoe to look at the heel closer and the entire class watched as she tumbled to the floor. She went down because of Phoenix being curious.
His autism could be the reason for him being so curious about the high heel shoes.
his teacher said the volunteer learned not to wear those kind of shoes today. I cant even wear high heels with Phoenix, I bought a pair of really cute wedges, and no way can I wear those shoes out with Phoenix and those slick as glass floors.
i felt so bad as a mother. Phoenix did not intend for the volunteer to fall to the ground. luckily she was okay and laughed about it.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

the Incredible Sense of Balance

The little crystal baby Phoenix is back in school. and i am back at my desk. wow, it feels great to have a clear mind. shew, Phoenix was a handful this Summer. but, i think we worked hard on his letters and numbers, which he absolutely loves, loves,loves, letters and numbers. he always has. even his speech therapist has mentioned to me his incredible love of Letters and numbers. Phoenix his now beginning to learn the sounds of the alphabets. its been very easy for him. With Phoenix's visual learning abilities, and fantastic music internet phonics videos, played over and over. Phoenix is learning fast. sadly, Phoenix's early childhood teacher told me she did not know yet if Phoenix would go to junior kindergarten or to a special education class. Phoenix's teacher explained to me that J/K is academically driven. i think to myself "WTH" Phoenix will not stay still in a chair for longer than 10 minutes, so,, yep. I am sorry my four year son cant stay STILL! Right?
But, Phoenix, can write his name and his letters. oh, why, does Autism have do be so Complex and emotional?...

I would like to share with you today something I have been noticing more and more with Phoenix. It is HIGHLY noted that Crystal Children have an incredible Sense of Balance.
I have noted on this Blog somewhere, i am sure, when Phoenix was about two years old, he began to climb on top of our dining room table, and walk to the edge of the table and balance off the table,tipping his toes forward. it was incredible to witness, my sons girlfriend even noted it.
it was completely normal for Phoenix to do this. balance off the ends of furniture. I thought this is what was meant by, Crystal Children have an incredible Sense of Balance........
to my surprise, this summer. Phoenix began doing another type of Balance.
Phoenix can Flip and Cart wheel, and Now, he stands on his head on furniture and balances on his head, with his feet and knees and he moves back and forth like a clock pendulum.
Its incredible, its like he is in perfect motion and Balance with all that IS......
that incredible sense of Balance is, not What I thought it was. It's Not What I thought AT ALL.
Its not only Phoenix's ability to to Balance off a table, or balance a tight rope, or balance across a Balance Beam in gymnastics.
Its the Balance of All things.
Phoenix is Mastering Balance more and More everyday. Balance. and not by me. I dont know where he comes up with what he does. How did he Know to stand on his Head and Swing his body in perfect Motion and Balance. You would now believe how happy and content Phoenix is when he is balancing upside down, on his head with his legs and feet perfectly placed to balance back and forth for minutes upon minutes.
Crystal Children are incredible. Balance is so important. I have never seen a child, my child, who needs both of his parents every single day. again, balance....balance everything that is Balance.




Wednesday, July 20, 2011

That Transition thing..........

the summer blues are setting in. its hot in the mountains with not much to do.
Phoenix is growing and learning faster and faster. he can write his name. he calls it drawing his name. he can also draw his letters and numbers. its strange ,i can tell he imagines how to draw his letters in his head, as Phoenix thinks and puts thought to paper.
every weekend our neighbor has her grandchildren over. there's about four Typicals.
They always Invite Phoenix over to Play. Phoenix just runs away, and could care less about those children. I just try to smile as they ask Phoenix to come over.
its hard to handle but, I overheard the Children talking about Phoenix. One of the children said to the Other. " Phoenix DONT LEARN RIGHT!"
its crushing.. its things i dont understand. my son can do things typical children can not.
Maybe he does learn right but differently, and his memory is that of an elephant. he never forgets anything, except, he does forget how to use his words. and that would be the only thing, most of the time i believe he chooses not to use his words on purpose.

I know i am not the only parent of an autistic child that has felt this way. Yes, its clearly obvious my son is different than yours. he is nothing like your typical four year old.
as of late, transitioning from one task to the other as been dreadful. me and Phoenix's dad took him on a vacation to a waterpark. and Phoenix Loved it. he didnt understand when we left one pool, that there would be quickly another pool to visit. Phoenix would have a FULL on MeltDOWN when he left each Pool. He could not wrap his head around the transitioning from Ride to Ride ,Pool to Pool. I am sure people thought Phoenix was the biggest brat in the entire world. and at that moment i did do. my entire Body ached from head to toe, trying to pick him up or drag him around. I am sure Parents of autism understand when the kid becomes a limp noodle, and will not walk. I dont know how other parents handle this situation. all i know, is to bend down and pick Phoenix up kicking and screaming. and I calmly tell him we are going to another pool. oh, We all had the best time, but when Phoenix arrived at the next pool, he was happy again.
i do feel like I am on my own alot. its pretty lonely , most people have never been in the presence of autism. and they just do not understand. my family does not understand autism, simply because they are not around Phoenix enough to get to know him.
Transition is hard. Some parents use pictures for transition, but thats just to much for everyday situations. Phoenix's speech therapist recommended a timer with a beeper, to signal when its time to transition to something else. it works during speech therapy, we shall see

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

the Crystal Seeker

Phoenix is off to camp this week. and he has been having a blast. everyday there is painting and swimming for ages 3-18. All these children at camp have certain disabilities. everything from autism to down syndrome. what i have realized through all my four years of parenting My crystal Baby is that I have been Placed in My Life to seek Crystals. WOW, i must say. I just had another Crystal Child appear to me.
yesterday, i was dropping off Phoenix at camp. along with other parents. and One of the Parents Just asked me, So, What's his Diagnoses? I just turn Around and look at the Parent, "Autism Spectrum Disorder" the Parent was Like Really. then the Parent looks at the lady beside me and Says " i think Your Daughter has Autism."
I think to Myself ... WHOA! Daughter + Autism = a Girl Child with Autism.. hmmm,
I asked the Mother of the Girl.. "can She Talk?" the mother said "Yes"
i looked at her and Said " that's Asperger's Syndrome!"

as the children were waiting in the Van this morning
something told me to start asking Questions about this little girl.
I could not help myself, I was being sucked in by this little girl.
How old is she? how many siblings?
then her mother started telling me everything i needed to know...
she even mentioned she needs to go outside and take long walks..

the girl is twelve is years old meaning She would have to be the Very First of the Crystals to arrive . the year would be 1999 Usually you would think at this Age you would have an Indigo/Crystal combo on your hands. Her energy Lacked the Cutting Energy of an Indigo. I have two Older Indigo Sons and I am very familiar with that Cutting Strike you Down Energy.

this Crystal Girl, Has Huge Black EYES. her eyes look like mirrors. when she looks into your eyes she steals your heart and grabs onto your Soul. She Placed her hand on the Van Window and said to her Mother " Mommy Mommy I love you!" it brought tears to my eyes.

I feel like i just found My favorite baseball player in a pack of baseball cards. its a spiritual RUSH,
to find Crystal child.. But,,, A GIRL!!!!

Which Brings me to wonder today. Its pretty rare to Find an Autistic girl even with Aspergers Syndrome. at least for cities i have moved too. and i will move again.... and again
i think that there is High Possibilities of these Girl Children Diagnosed with Autism being actual Crystal Children.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

that TWIN Flame thing..........

today is the last day of school for the little Phoenix. i cant believe another school year has Come and Gone. that's mere madness, how time just speeds up Faster and Faster as we Grow Older. when i was young time would drag and drag.... but know more. i dont know why, but i am a nervous wreck the last day of school. my sweet second son will be a senior in a matter of hours. maybe that's why i feel so, weird. I could start an entire other Blog on him entitled "the Indigo Teenager!" shew, that kid aint even playing around with his life. he is full throttle in his high school, and i dont push him at all. he is simply Self Driven in a Powerful way. i pray that will carry on into his work ethic.
Phoenix hasnt had much time with his daddy lately. his daddy works and works. and when his daddy his home and has to leave for work Phoenix's heart his crushed and he cries forever... as i have mentioned before Phoenix's lungs are Atomic. shew, my ears ring often...
one day this Past week my husband called me to meet him for dinner because he was working late. when we were leaving and Phoenix did not get to ride in Daddy's truck, he was crushed, and he cried and cried all the way home. i had to open a bottle of bubbles for him and he was okay again.
what i am noticing more and more, is his need of both Parents. maybe, it is the balance. but, i have never seen a child need both of their Parents like he does. my first son, was a daddy's boy, my second son, a mama's boy. and this Son. he needs both of Us. would you think that to be Autism, or his Crystal nature?
Sometimes, in your life you have those, oh, Memories?......
my memory took me back to a Beltaine years ago. Beltaine was my Holiday! anyway,I had just crowned a New May Queen.... So, energy was a GO GO.... into the night me and my husband were
standing next to each other, and this Powerful Third Degree witch came up to us along side my mother. and this witch said ... " OMG YOU are TWIN FLAMES! " i can remember the look in his eyes. yes, the witch was guy. i have met a handful of guy witches. and they were all some of the most Powerful witches i have ever encountered.
I had always knew there something different about me and my husband's relationship. it was a whirlwind courtship. we married after knowing each other for two months. its worked out.
maybe, just maybe Phoenix loves to be wrapped up into that flame. he loves to sit between us and put our faces together to kiss. its so cute.
i have read about Crystal Children being born to loving parents. In Phoenix's Case he is Born out of a flame.....
Twin Flames, soul Mates , Twin Souls, do exist.............

Sunday, June 5, 2011

that Rare Unicorn

the coming of the New Age is Here. i think to myself.. (which i do a lot because i am stuck deep in the mountains)
I went on a field trip with Phoenix's Early Child hood class Last week. the class is filled with seven typicals and eight with developmental delays. Out of fifteen children, I found two crystal children this year. Phoenix and the other Child, both diagnosed with Autism. I have read that Autism Spectrum disorder is so broad. Each child,completely different from sitting in the corner rocking and spinning, with zero words to complete genius that needs to learn to talk.
while on the Field Trip i finally got to observe the two crystal children together. and let me tell you, these two Autistic Crystal children were talking to each other, but in their own gibberish language. the very same language gibberish Phoenix uses at home, but then i remind him to "use his words" it was an amazing experience. i asked his teacher if this was a common occurrence between the two, and she said usually when the two are Outside on the playground. hmmm?? Now, i want to tell you about the similarities of these two Autistic Crystal Children..
from talking to Phoenix's teacher about the two children. Both of these children have incredible memory. Both knew their letters and numbers by age two. Both Know their shapes. and Both are beginning to sound out the letters. and are clearly on the Path to reading. and finally both are four years old and will be five in the year 2012. of course in many ways they are different.
Phoenix's Sensory issues are off the Chart. he constantly needs to ground himself. he grounds himself by taking his socks and shoes off and Phoenix's beloved Fluffy..... but, as far as their Educational Mind and their ability to learn are at the same incredible rate.
i want you to think about how a parent should feel, think about your child at two years old that barely spoke a word. but in one moment in a toy store, you child jumps from his stroller to get to a bucket that held wooden letters. he would pick different letters up at random and used his voice to share the alphabet with you. wouldnt you be very Confused?
I had a hard time figuring out in Speech therapy separating Phoenix's knowledge and Phoenix's ability to communicate or Talk. I just could not wrap my mind around it. it made zero sense to me.
at times i search the internet searching for Crystal Children stories. i have found a couple of forums and groups here and there. but, as soon as i read that the Alleged young Crystal Child Can Talk and can talk in full sentences , i quickly click to another story. and then to another and another. There is no suffering there. that child can talk. Autism did not become your child's LABEL and you believe you have a Crystal Child. that child would be rare to encounter, like a Unicorn. but i read Far more stories about talking Crystals. I want to read about Autistic Crystals. Now, these children are interesting. these Crystal Children can command in the Spiritual World. not even on purpose, not even with words, just their mere presence.
there is also Autistic children that are NOT Crystals. those exists too.
with ALL Due Respect to my Readers, If you believe you have a Crystal Child that can talk. you have that Rare unicorn.
with phoenix it is like he has trouble forming his words. he tries and it comes out close, he really has to work Hard at saying the word Lemonade. he tries and tries.
i bet Phoenix thinks to himself, I don't speak your Language..............

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I write to enlight

the ghosts have BEEN dancing around the house again. i saw a large shadow pass by in the living room. i thought it could have been my oldest Son. I went to investigate, down the hall i went, I opened my son's door to ask. hi,. and of course he had been sitting in the room the entire time. i do not know what is going on in this house? I imagine, I should just Ask Them "what is happening here?" I am tired of the ghost playing around. it is very curious, but then it gets to the point where it becomes aggravating. to be honest i do not want to be messing between the veils of the world right now. It just opens my spirit to things i just do not wish to face right Now. Not with all the love and light I have to send to each individual son and then my husband. oh my..
Somedays, i think to myself Why do i keep writing this Silly Blog. I write about strange things that most People would think would be absolutely unbelievable. I write because I feel there is a Parent that could feel alone and isolated raising their Crystal child. and know You are not...
i become A Different person when i begin writing this blog. my spiritual side comes shining through... its a wonder the ghosts are dancing in my house. their attracted to such Light.
...........................................................................................
it has taken me days and days to write this story. my mind is here and there and everywhere.
dont ask where i have been???

days have gone have by, and One night Again They have appeared Again. In a line Again. One after another and another. In a line going into Phoenix's room.
its is an experience. i need to wait late into the evening to take my medicine because i quickly go to sleep. i will then take a more in depth look into the phenomenon.

I have read about the Characteristics of Children hundreds of times. these crystal children are all portrayed with Fluffy Bunny Energy. I tell you from my experience, that is not Always the Case. Phoenix can Grow Horns in an Ultimate Moment and still Control the Situation. I believe since cutting down On Phoenix's sugar intake , it has made him a different child, with more and more words. and better results at Speech therapy. in the mean time, he grows more dominant with words.
One more week of school to go, and i cut down more on his sugar. it is so hard to cut sugar out at school......
i will leave you for now...............
Shelly StarZZ

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Becoming Magenta.....

I have begun to notice huge changes in Phoenix. Phoenix was becoming different, different on a vibration level. the little crystal boy, in Phoenix's class has a happy bunny like energy. that crystal child is On the golden ray. 100%. Phoenix was born unto this Golden Ray but has evolved to the Magenta Ray. i could not understand what was happening to him. Phoenix has become more and more dominant. His personality is strong willed. So, Strong willed that he has total Control of his assistant teacher. i mentioned to her to take control of the situation. Or Phoenix will Melt Down unto oblivion.. Then comes back Bigger and stronger. Phoenix.....
my Phoenix on the other Hand has become an Artist on many levels. he can draw and draws i posted just a few of his pictures. but he draws and colors and paints. he loves it. Phoenix has strong interest in music, from trying to play his guitar, to him drumming late into the evening on his bongos and Congos. Phoenix is either drawing or creating music with drums, keyboard or rattles. and if he is bored with that he is learning the sounds of letters in the alphabet.
one thing, Phoenix has become Ultra sensitive. We have had to eliminate all sugar from his Diet, as it has caused Great Changes him and his behavior. so, we have cut all cookies and cakes and junk. its okay, his favorite snack is raisins.
Phoenix has been battling another Ear Infection. The more i read and study crystal children, the more i read about Crystal Children having numerous Ear Infections. I have read that something becomes off balance with the child or family and an Ear Infection is soon to follow with a Crystal Child.
Phoenix has had extreme bouts with Ear infections. His fever this Past weekend was 103.5. me and his DAD rushed him to the Hospital. his doctor's office was closed. Phoenix was held down and given two shots. you see, phoenix REFUSES ALL medicine. we cant put the medicine in juice, we cant hold him down and give him medicine, he clamps his mouth shut. He refuses it, it is the Craziest thing. instead he gets a shot..

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

my husband has been away alot recently. leaving me and Phoenix home alone and bored. my husband decided to take the afternoon off yesterday, to spend with Phoenix. he is going away again for a couple of days. so, we both went to go get Phoenix out of class early. and when i walked in to get Our son, uh my heart dropped when i walked in the classroom. the entire class was working on a smart board activity. and Phoenix was sitting in the rocking chair all by himself. his assistant was jib jabbing with a substitute. i thought i was going ripp some one's head off. but, i didnt. i did say, i Dont Ever Want to Come BAck In here, and Phoenix is sitting by himself. RAGE. and then sadness comes over me. Once Again, among Phoenix's peers he sticks out, singled out or is isolated.
what i can not understand.. is the difference between the child i wake up in the morning and the child that I leave in the classroom. its like having two different children. Phoenix talks at home, he talks in three word phrases. but, at school he is quiet about himself. or if he is mad about something at school he becomes defiant... he will slam the bathroom door and he will turn the lights on and off. Even with A stern NO his teacher can not make him stop. the teachers probably go through alot with Phoenix,and their patience wears thin with him.. its that darkness about Phoenix. at least he is ONE with both the dark Energy and the Light Energy. but he is Not One with your every day Life energy. that takes SO much work. its incredible.. maybe we will attain balance for him.
school can be overwhelming for him, I imagine, all those kids, everyday. even going to kindergarten was stressful for me .......... school could be stressful for Phoenix.
he knows and does so many things at home.
dr jekyll at home Mr Hyde at school. i hope the potion wears off soon.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Rapture May 21 2011

I have been reading about the christian group spreading their Gospel around about tomorrow. may 21st.......... gosh, the group went so far as to purchase 2000 billboard signs. you have to wonder..
i would like to write to you about my house. i live in a fairly modern home, and only one other family has ever lived here. Over the years, several of our children have reported extreme paranormal events that have occurred in the house. from, seeing a little girl, to hearing voices, water faucets have turned themselves on, and XBOX has powered itself. my oldest son reported the front door unlocking for him.... now, i have had so much happen to me spiritually. i really cant even meditate anymore, as i can get so deep spiritually that i really dont want to exist but exist in Everything.
i have taken into account what the children have told me, and left it there, almost dismissing them. i get so wrapped up into Phoenix, i just didnt think about it. Until the other night.
i had my first experience in my house. i believe this experience of all my spiritual encounters is UP near The top...... here it is
i was ready for bed and i had laid down for my nights rest. I have extreme insomnia and take diesels to sleep. and it was almost time for my sleeping pill to kick in, and i looked down my hall.
and i saw something unbelievable. i saw energy outlines of different colors, one after the other were moving in waves down my hall. i thought to myself.. "dear God?!" again my sleeping pill is kicking in, but, i was beginning to feel a little fear about what I was seeing. but i had to get one more look at this. i opened my eyes and there they were, one after the other, in a line moving foward. to give you, the reader.. an idea of what this looked like, think back to the 1982 movie Poltergeist. in this movie there is a scene in the film that shows the ghosts coming down the stair case. think of seeing that image but without the skeletons and faces, just the actual ghost. I could not hold my eyes open anymore, i drifted to sleep. i woke the next day and remembered the experience later that morning. when my eldest son came home, i told him about it. the first question he asked "Where were they going?" and i pointed "That WAY" well, "that way" turned out to be in Phoenix's bedroom. my son said "there is something about THAT KID! "
maybe there is something about that Phoenix. i dont know.......
maybe They were here to see PHOENIX.. maybe they are still here? and we live together... who knows?
may 21 2011 is almost here, and if the Christian group is correct, there will be a lot of people who suddenly disappear. i dont think we have to much to worry about yet at least not saturday. 2012 is approaching, we wonder again dont we??
IS the paranormal activity starting to pick UP? it seems it has here....... if that's an indicator, oh MY!
it is sad that People do not see what is happenning. the Christed children Are Here. and they are coming more and more rapidly as Autism Spreads. Autism... the crystal children in disguise..

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Kryptonite Cupcakes...

It seems Phoenix's early childhood class has been in Birthday mode. And with birthday's come the cupcakes. Cupcakes and more Cupcakes. I have mentioned to Phoenix's teacher about his extreme sugar sensitivity. that does not make the Cupcakes go away, birthday's come and birthday's go.... I wonder....... if his sugar sensitivity was an allergy and treated like a Peanut allergy, there would be No More of those awful Kryptonite cupcakes. NONE! i understand the difference between allergy and sensitivity. you could ultimately die from a Peanut allergy.
i can tell you this
i can sit back on the couch and watch Phoenix become a different child after he eats a cupcake.
different kinds of cupcakes effects phoenix differently. just like the different colors of Kryptonite, Green, Red, Blue, Gold, black........effect Superman. thus i bring you the Kryptonite Cupcake.
the most gentle of Cupcakes would be white cake and vanilla frosting, after a couple of glasses of water and a few hours Phoenix's patience and words come around.
and the worst of the Kryptonite Cupcakes is by FAR, the Chocolate Cupcake with Chocolate frosting... Just one of those Cupcakes takes Phoenix somewhere far, far, away.......... its sad, because Phoenix doesnt understand any of this..... he just says on the way to school " cupcakes,, OH BOY.. birthday birthday!"
if you were a mother, and you witness your child just suddenly disappear and just become a whole different child.. and cupcakes are to Blame. what would you do? tell his teacher, no, NO cupcakes for Phoenix, and the rest of the children get cupcakes....... that would make him seem even more different. maybe as his tiny body grows, he will be able to tolerate more sugar... until then..........

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

the EDCD waiver.

i just took a deep breathe as i begin to write this.
the EDCD waiver is One of the Most Unbelievable things i have ever Heard of.
The EDCD waiver stands for Elderly and Disabled Consumer Directed waiver. This waiver serves elderly and persons of all ages with disabilities. An individual must meet nursing facility eligibility requirements including both medical and functional needs.
you can read here for a more in depth look at the EDCD waiver.
http://cuddlebugkids.blogspot.com/2010/01/va-medicaid-edcd-waiver-introduction-in.html

i was first introduced to the EDCD waiver from Phoenix's former Occupational therapist. She happen to call me and asked about Phoenix attending summer camp. and in the conversation, somehow it turned to this waiver.
The EDCD waiver would allow Phoenix 20 hours a week of in home care. WHAT?
and then i was told that The EDCD waiver wasnt based on Our Family Income. The edcd waiver was Based On Phoenix's Income! WHAT! He is four. But then i was told of the many autistic children who receive SSI. a social security disability benefit check a month. Then i thought back for a moment to the Day Phoenix was diagnosed with Autism. At the end of the appointment Phoenix's Doctor asked us if we wanted her to start the paper work for SSI. me and my husband looked at each other and laughed. No thank you. anyway, back to the EDCD waiver..
my next question about the EDCD waiver was Funding. Where does the money come from? the answer. Federal Funds. again i thought to myself, what? REALLY. our National Debt is spinning out of control, and if approved for the EDCD waiver Phoenix would have a 20 hour per week NANNY! and FULL medicaid benefits PAID by YOU THE AMERICAN TAXPAYER.
I do not think the EDCD waiver is for Phoenix..I stay at home full time to take care off him. I know there are many Parents working full time and could benefit from the 20 hour in home care
for their Autistic child
Parents of Autistic children who really need the HELP, please by all means call your local Health department TODAY and ask about the EDCD waiver. it could take months to get the Ball rolling. The EDCD waiver looks to be a HUGE Loop Hole for Autism care. and i know PARENTS need all the help they can get with a low functioning Autistic... bless your hearts everyone...........

Phoenix is potty trained, he can dress himself, though sometimes his clothes are backwards. he can go in the snack drawer and help himself to the raisins.
Phoenix just being able to do those things would make him ineligible for the waiver.

I will tell you, when i was on the phone with the Health department, researching the EDCD waiver, the lady at the Health department blew me away. She asked " what kind of Autism does your Son have?" .................. UH???????? uh? uh?
i drew a blank. i said "I dont know?"
the High Function Autistic diagnoses Left my mind.. and i honestly dont think about what type of autism Phoenix has........ i do know he is CRYSTAL.............

well, i finally remembered to Ask Phoenix's Early childhood teacher about Occupational Therapy at school. Phoenix has a lot of sensory issues, but he did not qualify for Occupational Therapy because of his ability to draw and write. I just looked at his Teacher with wonder.. WTH.. REALLY? this must be a part of the High functioning autism Spectrum rainbow... i asked Phoenix's teacher. " is that Good he didnt qualify?" she said YES...

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

all their eyes

Phoenix and I went to Walmart to gather some groceries after Speech Therapy today. We were buzzing through Walmart just like usual. Phoenix was in the square part of the cart, just minding his business looking at all the people and of course the Giant Wall of Candy beside him. then, we approached an elderly silver hair man. he looked at me and then to Phoenix sitting in the cart. He looked me in the Eyes and said to me " GOD BLESS YOU, god bless you and your SON! i just rolled my son away as quick as i could. I thought to myself LOUDLY " That Just Happened. JESUS CHRIST!"
Well, bring it on.gimmie More... HA... give ME all your Blessings... I will take them thank you.
But i will will tell you this...
it can be humbling, it can be amazing, and just down right unnerving. and People wonder about me, ALL the time...I keep everything so secret, when you meet me face to face. i will look you in the eyes but that is ALL. I have lived in this town for three years and i know NO one but They All Know me.. could you imagine that?.. it will be Summer soon, and i will begin covering my face again with Giant hats and BLAck sunglasses, the mountain Sun stings my face, the more I Cover Up, the more i will stick out... and that it Turn will make phoenix stick out.. OH, and when i go to Phoenix's school to Pick him up, its feels like the entire town is there Picking up their kids... I just want to RUN the other way, but instead i get to Walk Past All the Parents waiting in the Hallway for the BELL to ring. Phoenix's Early Childhood Class is in the middle of the school, so, i get to walk past all these People to get to my Phoenix. and when I get him, I have to walk Past the People again. this alone drives me mad... I feel ALL their EYES.........
if you are wondering how or why these people know me,or even my name..... I wonder the same thing.....but, i could blame this on my husband.. I could...
okay, so back to Autism and the Crystal baby, i think a little http://eternalsunshineofthesplitmind.blogspot.com/ came out on the page.. whoopsie..
Phoenix is doing okay other than kicking and biting... in class.. his report card actually read that.. I couldnt believe it. but okay.. his early childhood class is going okay except story time in the library. phoenix hates it, he cant sit still through storytime. Phoenix's teacher explained to me that most four year olds have a hard time sitting still.. hmmm i agree.
next year Phoenix will begin math, because he loves numbers and shapes so much.. i believe he will benefit from learning something he enjoys..

Friday, April 29, 2011

Say No to Chocolate Candy

the Easter bunny payed a visit to Phoenix on Sunday. Now, every child needs a Chocolate Bunny on Easter. its the American Way. SO I THOUGHT! Phoenix totally LEFT the building. For days after he ate his Chocolate bunny he was a totally different child. He cried and pouted for every moment of the day unless he was sleeping or taking a drink from his cup.
me and his dad could not figure out what was wrong with Phoenix. He couldnt even use his words...
Finally on Wednesday Phoenix returned Home. It was amazing watching him come to me. His WORDS were flowing again and then it dawned on me. That damn Easter Candy. His basket only contained one small pack of skittles, 1 chocolate bunny, and some kool aid looking powder with a stick. And that's what caused it...... Phoenix's skin rash even returned... it was a messy couple of days. but, WE made it and learned a valuable lesson about chocolate and candy. SAY NO!
For all the Autistic crystal Mothers and Fathers, I wonder if you have ever experienced anything like what we experience with Candy. from Now on Phoenix will be receiving boxes of raisins in his Easter basket.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Hair cut

It was time for Phoenix's hair to be cut. Phoenix's hair when long is straight and thin. and his hair get tangles so easy. the only solution for his hair was a Hair cut. Now, taking Phoenix to a salon or barber shop for his hair cut is out of the question. His autism would show big time, and i could not risk someone poking my son in the eyes with scissors. I could not imagine the immense melt down that would happen. Which autistic children are known for...
well, whats a mom to do. Cut his hair myself. i couldnt stand looking at that rats nest anymore
One evening last week after his shower, i tried to cut it. snip, scream,snip scream, you would have thought i was stabbing him with the scissors. I managed to cut some of his hair but noway near a decent looking hair cut. so, the next evening at after his shower, i cut a little more, still the same, snip, scream, snip scream. thank goodness this haircut happened during his Easter break from school. geez. i believe it took around four days to get his hair cut right... well, at least that's done. but with his temper fits i was so worried about the scissors, but we both made it through the hair cut and tomorrow when Phoenix goes back to school, he will look like the rest of the children.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Passover Begins Again.......... Our Autistic sons

Passover begins today. I think back to Ancient times when the Israelites Painted their Doors to protect their first born sons. and then i think of Autism.
Autism affects 1-70 boys. Is Autism a great curse from long ago? Autism is taking revenge against our sons. Could Autism be the biggest Plague of all time? We dont understand why autism strikes One Son and Not another Son. What in the Hell is happening here?
Imagine What happens to a Mother and Father. their toddler son is talking, potty trained, and making plenty of Eye Contact. And Over Night their SON looses the ability to talk, cant use the bathroom, and can not look them in the EYE. Something swooped over the Son and took him away.
this Alone will make you want to Paint your Doorpost During Passover..........
I wonder if God hears Our Cries.
Maybe I should just go paint a giant "A" on my door during Passover

Monday, April 4, 2011

Baby Jesus is Everywhere.. the second coming is now.

good day good evening readers.
I am going to warn you, please read All of my ideas with an Open Mind and Open Heart.
this Idea could come with negative views as Many but Not all Christians are Deep In Religion and not the Spirit.
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One day Last week I was Helping Phoenix with hanging up his coat in his Early Childhood Class. and then i happened to look around and their was this little boy with an Autism bracelet headed straight for me. i was bent down helping with Phoenix so I was eye level with this little boy. When this little boy made eye contact with me he ran to me with Open Arms, like he hasnt seen me in years. It was an incredible moment for me. When the little boy hugged me our heart chakras opened together and that's when i felt that familiar energy. that christ energy i had experienced for myself years ago. please read the post below to find out more about my relationship with Jesus and the Christ energy....
with the first eye contact with this little boy, i seem somewhat connected to him. if you have ever been saved by the Christ energy, its very emotional and brings tears to most. and that's what i had felt like. I had been hugged by Christ himself. With Phoenix he holds the Christ Energy , but he is my own Son, and my Love for him overwhelms that energy, and most often Phoenix keeps that Energy of his on LOCK. which is great for All he comes in contact with. he is very particular with who he shares his energy with..Phoenix is a Padawan right now.
what we need to address here is that Christ Energy. Now, Jesus the Man, held the Christ energy. But, Jesus was just a man, plain and simple. can you imagine the pressure Jesus must have felt? holding the Christ energy.
i am beginning to evolve a theory.
in the bible it is says:
The coming of Christ will be instantaneous and worldwide. "For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be." —Matthew 24:27
AUTISM has Arrived in Full force here. is it a coincidence that Autism effects more sons than daughters. i dont know..
Autism is Around the World. and many Autistics are Crystals. these Crystals hold the Christ Energy. I know, from my encounter with Phoenix's classmate. This little boy has hugged me now every time he sees me. Today though.. i was late with Phoenix to school. and the children were at their tables eating .. and The little boy just looked me in the eyes, i winked,, and i thought to him "i love you" then i saw a twinkle in his eyes. his Eyes are a very light Blue.. I felt like he heard me.. telepathic maybe
i wonder? are these autistic crystal children the second coming? They Hold the Christ Energy.
OUR world is in CHAOS... and these crystal Star Children are all over the world. NOW!

Now, Lets review the Seven rays.

The seven rays come out of the white light of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is like a full complement of all of the rays of the Christ consciousness. These rays are noted by the spectrum of colors that we see in the rainbow. you can read more about this in a previous post.

If you are blessed to receive a Hug from an Autistic take it. its like receiving a blessing.




you can read more about the Seven Rays in a previous post.