Friday, January 29, 2010

has Autism caused your soul to be stolen?

i was reading and came across an article about austic children who appear to be born with no soul. it was one of saddest reads of my life. i will not post it, but google is a wonderful thing. but after visiting school with Phoenix an observing another child with autism. sadly i could see what people might would consider a soulless human.this child could not make contact. and his speech delay was severe. but if you sit and listen you can peal through the layers of the Austic child's soul. their souls appear to dwell deeply within. almost like the child is as lost deep in the next galaxy. my tears fill, i just want to drown my sorrows. i look to my bright Phoenix, and i sit and listen again. i look right through him, his soul is as bright and full as the Full Moon itself. Could it be my dear? but No i still feel you in their. has autism stole my crystal child's soul? with giggles my Phoenix says Noooooo.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

blocks,blocks, all the same size

Phoenix me and his dad went to visit the school this week to observe and see how Phoenix would interact with the other Autistic children. Let me tell you. I could not believe my eyes all these children with disabilities were amazing to watch. there were nine boys and just three girls, and their ages were from 3-4 the majority of the children that i saw and interacted with had speech delay. the teachers were all encouraging the children to "use their words" or make a sign when wanting something, learning to ask can be difficult for these children. My Phoenix doesnt seem to think he needs to ask me for anything, he just thinks i know.
being in the same room with these children was energizing. the class room felt like warm sunshine, after being buried in dark grey snow for weeks.
we arrived just in time for breakfast. the children all sat at small tables with a big pile of toast in the center, along with small bowls of fruit loops and coco Krispies. it was a feast for for All. from what i saw no milk or juice was spilled. All the children sat and ate their breakfast. then came story time came and the children gathered around the teacher. and the children listened to the story. Phoenix sat at the table for a whole ten minutes. then he ran to the blocks corner. my Phoenix has a block obsession, the blocks all have to the same size, thank goodness its not all the same color too. then he builds and builds. he then got himself stuck over in the block corner, trying to stack blocks from his reflection in the mirror.

Time keeps on ticking

tomorrow the little Phoenix has Play therapy. he is doing better with his speech and communication. this type of therapy seems to help his autism. he has been making great strides with his play and learning to play with things the correct way. i was thinking today, that my other sons didnt seem as advanced at this stage as the Phoenix. even though he cant communicate well, he is still very aware of letters, shapes and colors. he has learned how to draw pretty good. he loves to draw circles. Phoenix will be starting school soon. he is almost three. what will i do without my son during the day. i was hoping on spending more time with him, but its time for school.

Why my house???

i imagine a row of 125 houses all filled with children. An Autism chose my house. Maybe i should have marked my door like the Hebrews did at Passover. why my house?
it was december 22 2009 when the specialist said it. He has Austism.
Amazing things dwell within that spirit of my son. The child already has a relationship with Christ. When we visit the thrift store he can pick up all things jesus. I want to get him a Christ Buddy. He is not so scary. Why does Jesus have to be so scary. All except the baby jesus.

we are working hard to get on Phoenix's level. i dont know if i ever could. but, that seems to be only way to reach him. what is happening? where is the life that i recognize?

my pawpaw has left this world.. i miss him so much. i understand grief now. it hurts so bad.
the last time i saw him, i told him how much i loved him. i knew it would be the last time i saw him. painful as it is, i knew immediately he felt better. he didnt feel so good......

Autism Sucks

well, the intervention team believes my Crystal has Autism.
Phoenix's teacher asks me how i feel about the possibility of Autism.
I said to her, Autism Spectrum Disorder is such a broad term, he probably does fall somewhere in the Spectrum. But let's see... as i spoke, i felt my heart sinking, i guess she is trying to prepare me.. I dont know...
Phoenix can talk, sure he has speech delay. but, if you listen, he sings.. and sings. I remember visiting with my sister, she said to me.. " is he singing?"
He sings all the time.. My two year old is not talking or communicating the way the medical community deems fit.. Phoenix does communicate with me. But i cant tell his doctor or speech therapist of his mental communication.

in her i know i am one

Crystal he is

once again with a new doctor the little Phoenix must see a speech therapist. We cant seem to get away from his speech delay. after doing some reading, i have found that crystal children seem to have exceptional visual symbolic skills. Meaning crystal children can recall their ABC's and 123's. Amazing. Phoenix has known his letters and numbers for a while. Oneday, Phoenix's father caught him one morning saying his letters. But he cant talk. He can say and recall at random all 26 letters of the alphabet. Now at two years old he can not say but 15 words max.
I know their are more crystal mothers out there. Just like me. Raising a crystal is a gift, but it is definately has it challenges. My biggest challenge is trying to get through speech therapy. Phoenix has his own language. he sounds like a whale singing a song.
lately it seems he has been a magnet for senior citizens. Mostly, senior citizens want to touch his golden blonde curly hair. but once the Phoenix locks his eyes on them, they just want to talk and play with him. Phoenix usually tucks his head down low, and will push the person away after a period of time. I guess he just had enough. And he Never ever speaks to anyone.

Crystal Engagement

It feels like years since he's been here
Phoenix, here he comes
I feel like the earth's been waiting
it's alright

i felt the spiritual energy of my son
i was awe struck, as i am discovering his crystalline energy
it is an incredible feeling knowing your son's spiritual energy contains far more than my abilities could ever reach in this lifetime. its very humbling

how many holes will he be able to fill.

since my last posting,
Phoenix has taught me of the Crystal Engagement.
A crystal engagement is when a Crystal child unleashes their spiritual energy and locks into yours. at the point of the crystal engagement many things can occur

the first of engagements, is the crystal confirmation engagement. this is when your crystal child confirms the fact they are indeed crystalline, this engagement can happen in a number of forms and is unique to the crystal caregivers. you will know when this happens, it is a feeling like none other

the second of the engagements is telepathy. the telepathic engagement is for everyday life with your crystal baby.crystal telepathy is like "mommy i need some milk in my cup.

the third engagement is crystal engagement messaging. crystal messaging is different than telepathy.
Crystal children messaging comes to us from the spiritual plane. the third crystal engagement is by far the most spiritual of all the engagements. During the time of this crystal engagement the recipient will feel like if they have just been kissed by god. this is when spiritual information is passed through the crystal child from the spiritual world to the recipient. during my first message engagement with my son, my eyes were burning so hot, and my face felt like it had extreme heat next to it, it felt like spiritual light being placed on me and my crystal.

the fourth of the engagements is the crystal healing engagement.
my crystal baby has never done this engagement with me. i do believe he has done this engagement before. one day he was at his weekly play date at the baby gym. there sat an elderly lady, my crystal baby toddled right up to her,never mind the play balls and the bubbles everywhere. he stopped and look right into her eyes's for maybe 30 seconds. then he stood before her and touched her hand but just with his pointer finger. then Phoenix just giggled and ran to play with the bubbles.
i looked at the elderly lady and she smiled so brightly. she just told me how beautiful his eyes were.

I love my dear Phoenix. Crystalline he is, protect him. i must.

in her i know i one

Autism, a Crystal, and The Blue Lady

it has been a struggle lately, my Phoenix is 18 months old and has been put under a microscope by the medical community. he simply decided he didnt want to talk, nothing no mama dada, nothing.
Phoenix can communicate with me through other ways though, i actually call him my little orca whale, because he loves to sing, and he sounds just like an orca...
but none the less, i was told he possibly couldnt hear and that's why he couldnt talk. which this scared the living daylights out of me, geez, the hearing test was done, and he can hear, praise the gods,, my Phoenix simply has a speech delay, one of the characteristics of crystal children, but also a characteristic of autism.
now, Phoenix's doctor has him under the help me grow program, where the state gets involved with Phoenix's speech delay. the social workers involved with Phoenix actually come to my home, to visit with him. and i still have the autism paperwork, which i dont want to fill out....

i drift to the land of faire
I have missed you, i told The Blue Lady..
i have just this for you The Blue Lady said to me
Your Phoenix will speak to you soon ...

then we were doing alright, Phoenix and me were on the Floor playing tickle.
sometimes messages have a funny way of getting to you, for i doubted Phoenix to be Crystal.
i placed my face on the bottom of Phoenix's feet, tickle, tickle, but a tickle of his feet wasnt what he wanted. i felt him lock into my eyes, as i then played pick a boo with his feet, then i felt the crystalline energy of my son embrace me, Phoenix told me to send energy to him, and if you are familar with REiki, i was sending reiki energy to him. and everytime i would send a wave of energy to him, he would start giggling, we did this over and over radiating through each other, with him giggling louder and louder everytime i sent him energy. then i heard The Blue Lady say to me, you have your Crystal Confirmation...........................................
after wards
i felt like i had been touched by the Gods, i have experienced many forms of enlightenment in my lifetime, by evoking the goddes herself, this experience with my Crystal Phoenix,, so far was the most spiritual, and devine of my entire life, i felt my spirit shimmering .
my son had given me a lesson, and that lesson is to help crystal mommies from my experiences through him.
so many crystal mother's dont know how to nurture the crystal energy of there child. and that is onething we must do....another thing Phoenix taught me, when a crystal mother is in doubt about the child being a crystal.... a confirmation will appear like nothing you have ever experienced before. and you will know and never doubt again. a young crystal knows nothing but truth........ and as a mother you must know it to be true.

and here i am once again back to reality, Phoenix said his first word thursday night, dada, and by saturday he said mama......... now he is saying bababa too....
unbelievable, but i must listen carefully to the Blue Lady..........

i recommend crystal caregiver's to learn Reiki, you dont have to pay a fortune for a reiki 1 attunement, besides i would do that 100% free if any Crystal Parent requests an attunement.
Crystal's are born to us for a reason, we did not choose them, they choose us.....

in her, i know i am one

My crystal baby

i imagined you long ago inside my mind, and in my dreams i hugged and kissed you a thousand times.

you all i ever i wanted, you were the only thing i dreamed of for eight years. the days would pass and i would see children i thought you might would look like. beautiful brown eyes with long dark eyelashes. skin as brown as a coconut.

i tried so desperately to get you here. i longed to see the sunlight in your hair.

Now, you are here,

your hair glistens in the sunlight, your eyes are so brown i feel you peeking through to my soul. you observe the world as i knew you would.

sometimes i feel my heart will over flow, but it just flows right through to the Phoenix and back again. an energy so striking for a child of 14 months. he doesnt speak much, but tells me everything i need to know.
i can see it in his smile
how much he loves the world
i wonder about this Crystal Baby my Phoenix.. Destiny will Tell
I want to start by Saying I LOVE YOU

Phoenix Rising

i had visions of a son
i knew that could never be
the visions of this child were so vivid so real
the BLue Lady SAYS you will have a son
"the phoenix"
my soulmate says okay
i went to rio bravo mexico
thank you dr roberto perez
i got pregnant once
my sweet baby angel grew wings at 8 weeks
i got pregnant twice
my sweet baby angel grew wings at 16 weeks
i got pregnant three times
my sweet phoenix was born
born of a vision. phoenix rising
in her, i know i'm one