nervous

today is Phoenix's last day of school. I am so nervous today, and i dont know why?
Phoenix will miss going to school. he has really enjoyed learning to play from the Typicals.
this summer Phoenix will be going a day camp. he will get to be with other kids which will be good for him.
may the gods give me patience this summer.
maybe that's what has me so nervous. me and Phoenix 24/7..
he is something to keep entertained. we will be playing for hours, days at the park and library story time.

the Typicals

Yesterday Phoenix was playing outside. It was Sunday, so the neighbor's grandchildren were over playing in the backyard. The children were around Phoenix's age. maybe a little older than him. one of the little boys came to the fence, to take a look at what Phoenix was playing with. the little boy was talking to Phoenix, and Phoenix just stood there. It was very telling, that Phoenix is different, not a typical three year old, but he has autism. every time I see a typical child, i just want to cry. i feel so bad. I often wonder what Phoenix will sound like one day. he does want to talk but just cant. Phoenix being around typical children is very important. he learns how to be typical child.

Hair cut

Phoenix got a hair cut. All of his long blonde curly hair is gone. i must say, he looks like a little boy now. He is growing so fast. His Autism shows more days than others. or i dont know, maybe he just decides to do whatever he wants to and not listen to me.
Phoenix has been doing okay on his potty training. it is not easy, because he can not tell me when he has to go. Ocassionally i will get a Pee Pee from him, which is a step foward.
somedays Phoenix wants to talk so bad. He will just sing his jibersh. I know he knows what i am talking about when i do talk to him.
Phoenix has been kissing me more and more. It is a wonderful thing.

i can hope

no summer school for Phoenix. Budget cuts have been deep here for the school system. school will be out for two and a half months. with no speech therapy. that means, i will have to work even harder with Phoenix this summer. i think he will be okay. he still has 2 more years of early childhood to go. a lot can happen within that time. my goal is to him mainstreamed by kindergarten. that's a big goal, but his vocabulary is steadily increasing. I can hope.

the good and just strange

today is the day i find out if Phoenix made it into summer school. it would seem to me that the school would provide speech therapy for him over the summer. Autism and regression go hand in hand. You constantly have to work with Phoenix's speech. It is so strange. what comes to us naturally in human communication and speech. Phoenix has to really work hard to say his words. He actually understands words, and what they mean. He just can not verbalize. ??
Phoenix has become more and more loving. He is now kissing me. Not only is he kissing me, but the trees in the yard, the flowers, the bushes. He was kissing the plants way before he would kiss me. I still wonder what that's all about.
today when i dropped off Phoenix at school, i noticed the teacher's dog in the class room again. it's freaking crazy. i take the good in this, and think to myself, she's Phoenix's teacher, and helping him with social skills, making friends, and basic preschool skills. so, i let the dog issue go.. balance right? the good and just strange

placebo effect

Phoenix has been receiving his fish oil supplements. I cut his dosage in half again. i dont want to overdue it. Its only been a couple of days since he started taking it. and his eye contact has improved. I do not know if that's the placebo effect of the fish oil, but it sure is nice to be able to gaze into those eyes of his. I feel like i can see to the ends of the universe when i look into his black eyes. the benefit of a crystal child.
i read it takes around 12 weeks for you to get the omega 3 built up in your system. that's the entire summer. speaking of summer, Phoenix is getting ready to be out of school for the summer. wow, i have a big job in front of me. Phoenix's dad wants him to go to the YMCA for the summer. i dont think they can handle him and his autism, i really dont. Phoenix is in a class of 15 and he has an assistant all to himself. He is not a bad child. he just doesnt follow directions. he has a hard time sitting still. Library seems to be pretty hard on him right now. he has to be quiet and sit still. i think that would be hard for most three year old boys.

Fish Oil

I was posting information over at Autism Articles and a came across several articles on the topic of Fish Oil and Autism. Omega 3 is what the vitamin is called. The fish oil is suppose to help calm, aid in concentration, and their behavior is suppose to improve, A lot of mother's use fish oil as a supplement for their adhd children. I dont know, but i like what i read. the Fish oil is like a wonder pill. but it also reminds me of the snake oils of the early days. Crazy salesmen would be peddling their snake oils to heal what ailed the sick. The snake oils probably gave sick people Hope when they had no hope. Is that where i am with the Fish Oil? is it giving me hope?
I will post Phoenix's progress with the Fish Oil. He has just started taking it. I bought the Nature made 1200mg no smell Fish Oil. Two capsules equal a serving to get to the 1200mg dose. I only give Phoenix one capsule at a time. I just pop a hole in the capsule and add it right into his strawberry milk cup. So far he has not noticed the oil in the milk. I only give it to him only twice a day, and some of the oil sticks to the cup.