is it to late

no one expected Autism.  what could I do?   is it to late to say I'm sorry???.      Your eyes  I get lost in,  are so big and bright..  please dont bother,,   you're already here..  I'm sorry. but I wanted you to be here so desperately.. I did whatever I could do..  how would I Have Known you were going to be born into Autism,  but I did..   your first words were so soft,but barely there..  ,
now, its me,, I'm Not here..   lost in a different world..  please try to find me..      as I found you......I still believe in miracles...  a tiny miracle is found in all your words  everyday..  

I feel like I am so lost, at times.. Autism sucks you in,,  like a black hole, caught in the universe..  there isnt to much escaping from it..  All day,  and sleepless nights. its a good thing I have insomnia myself, I guess that's why my crystal was born to me..  

a while ago, people should not even bother to find me..  but, this, Shelly StarZZ.. is still here.for you and the rest of world..
Autism, and a Crystal,,  I could cry..  when you walk into a room filled with people, most people with awareness, stop what there doing immediately,  just to take a look,  or get close to you..  the people do not understand,  they just think you are a beautiful boy,  and are drawn in with your giant black eyes..
what can I do, except but to let people share the world with you..