Blast!

its been a roller coaster of a month for me. i never imagined how much energy it takes to mother Phoenix and keeping my energy balanced at the same time. it has been exhausting for me spiritually, emotionally, physically.

Our visit to florida was emotional for me. Almost all emotions were felt by me.Every single emotion activated . I was so wore out when i came home, it took me weeks to return to balance. I can finally write after everything has come into focus.
My husbands family lives in florida. so i got to visit with my mother in law and stepdaughters, and poor grandma.
When i was with my husband i felt at ease, when we went to a wonderful restaurant by the river. Phoenix was quiet and ease at the restaurant. but earlier in the evening my mother in law had plans to meet her boyfriend at some restaurant. the first thing i asked her , is it Kid friendly? in front of my husband, she said of course.. when we arrived at the restaurant, we walked through the doors, and, it was a Sports Bar... jam packed on a friday night. his mother insisted it was okay for us to eat there.after waiting for 45 minutes in this crazy bar for her boyfriend, my husband was Furious, it was 7:30 and Phoenix hadn't ate yet when it came down to it, she was only concerned about her boyfriend. I hated it for my husband. what was once was a negative night for my husband, turned into a fabulous evening. even Phoenix got a pretzel and peanut butter dip appetizer.
it was an unbelievable experience with my mother in law. from the wonderful time we had together at the yard sales to shopping. the gods were smiling on me that day..i stumpled upon 2 large temple rubbing complete with frame. I call them my girls.. now, whats better is i got both of them for $10.00. I was so happy, i almost cried. this all because my mother in law took me to yards sales. so that i was grateful for.
while me and my mother in law were having some girl fun, my husband went to go get his 16 and 17 year old daughters. and that was nice when we got to see the kids. and Phoenix got to see his sisters. Phoenix loved playing the back yard. Believe or not a raccoon came to visit Phoenix, right in the middle of this giant city. His sister even got some pictures of the raccoon on accident. She was taking pictures of Phoenix, and the raccon happened to be in the background. it was strange.
later that day we were all playing and Phoenix was playing with a ball. my mother in law said to me, you should go get him another ball from the house. I said to her, "he is fine with just one ball" then she looked at me at said I was stupid. i said "Really, why is that? " she just stormed off. at first, i just wanted her to explain why i am stupid, but then it dawned on me, she just called me stupid. just because i didnt want to go back in the house and get a silly ball. my husband just picked up the ball and started playing catch with Phoenix. and i joined. while i was throwing the ball, i just kept thinking, wow, she just called me stupid. I was crushed. later when me and my husband went into the house, we were alone, and he asked me, "did my mom just call you stupid" i said, yes she did. my husband thought he had heard that. but could not believe it and thought he had misunderstood her... i told him this. "people say dumb stuff all the time, and maybe she just had one those moments." he said maybe....
then the next day she called my husband dumb, for the way he was packing the pictures of my girls. oh, i would like to think that the stress of taking care of grandma after she fell, has taken its toll on her. maybe... just maybe.

wondering about..

My Phoenix has returned to school after a long battle with sickness. that virus-demon attacked the Phoenix to the bitter core..
wondering to myself, if the an Ocean visit would cleanse the soul. leaving for the beach soon..

Life's Crystal experiences are coming one after the other.


after an Easter visit with Phoenix's Half sister. I learned that she has the ability to receive telepathic messages from the little Phoenix. Phoenix would just jump off the chair at her suddenly without any warning. Then his sister started hearing his Voice in her head. He would message her and tell her to "Catch Me" "Catch Me"
it must be the Indigo-Crystal connection.

From my experience it seems Indigo's have the ability to receive telepathic messages or directly communicate with Crystal Children.
again, i dont know if I am an Indigo, maybe I am just intuitive.
What I do know is Phoenix has an Autistic classmate. This child is on a different part of the Autistic Spectrum. Every time I look at the child I wonder about him. Does he stay up late at night like Phoenix? Does he have sensory issues? Does he giggle by himself in the corner of the room ? Does he stack blocks? Is he crystal?
well, today I was walking in the school parking lot and passed the little child and his mother. of course i was wondering something about the child, this time Was he Crystal, because his eyes were not big and deep like Phoenix? just as i began to wonder and think more about the child, i turned around to get one last glance at him as he walked away with his mother. the child turned and looked me in the Eyes from 15 ft away and giggled then went back to walking. I have seen him so many times at school, and he never looks anyone in the eyes. but for a moment, just a moment. He chose to look at me, right in the eyes. if you ask me what i felt, i just felt connected to him in a spiritual sense. He gave me something though. A Crystal Confirmation. There was no doubt this child is a Christed one. I felt it.. and he is not even my own child. small miracles

During Phoenix's sickness he became a little artist. He has one those doodle erase pencil attached things with the slide that eraser. you know what i am talking about. Phoenix can now draw faces. It is weird. The pictures are so scary looking. but amazing. i am going to have to take pictures of his art. but before i can get to it, he erases it with a quick slide. then it is gone forever...

No medicine please

i dont even know where my head has been for the last week.
Phoenix has been so sick. I will tell you now from experience. When this Crystal gets sick, Wow.. this is this is the third time Phoenix has been sick. when he was younger, he got sick with a double ear infection and running a 104 temperature. Phoenix was first prescribed Amoxicillin. you know that bubble gum medicine for kids.. And the medicine did not work, his fever had reached over 104 degrees. we went back to the doctor, and he pre scribed some white medicine, that was suppose to be stronger than the Amoxicillin. I started giving the new medicine to Phoenix hoping this would heal those poor ears.
But instead Phoenix broke out in hives all over his body. I am at my wits end at this point. I grabbed the little guy buckled him in his car seat, and drove as fast as i could to the doctors office. I got to the Doctor's office and they were closed!! I call his doctor's office from my cell phone and no one was there. I got to listen to there marvelous answering machine, telling me it was Friday and they closed at 1:30. As i looked at my watch it was only
1:00. Jesus, Really??? So, i rushed Phoenix to the nearest Urgent Care. The Urgent care took him right him. And the doctor's come to the realization to give a shot him of antibiotics. I was desperate by this point and said okay , bring on the shot.
Phoenix screamed in Rage, He had to have four people hold him down to get his shot. This kid is no joke. after 12 hours his fever broke and he was soon back to his curious self.

the second sickness rolled around about a month ago. Phoenix missed his entire last week of speech therapy. Another bout with his ears came knocking. Poor baby right?
i wanted to try Amoxicillin again, because it is not so strong.
Phoenix would not take this medicine. I got pink medicine all over me, him, the carpet.. Phoenix just power spit it out. He just refused it. then we got smart and mixed it in his strawberry milk. that was the end of that battle and he got better.

the third sickness, just rolled around. Phoenix was burning me to the touch. I knew i was facing another Battle to get him well again. I rushed him to the doctor. Phoenix's ears seemed to be fine, but we knew the cold would go straight to his ears and cause another double ear infection. Phoenix was you typical Crystal child, He required his doctor and two nurses to be held down, just so the doctor could take a peak in his ears, and listen to his lungs. The walls were literally vibrating from him screaming. I know he felt like his space was invaded. I tried to explain to him they were just trying to make him feel better.
The doctor recommended around of Amoxicillin. Okay, i can do this, i will just pay the 2.99 for the added flavoring for the medicine, and just mix it again with his milk. Right? wrong!
Phoenix refused to take this medicine. I tried mixing it with tea, milk, gatorade V-8 strawberry banana. Nope he wouldnt take the medicine. his fever then jumped to 104. So then i tried to force him to take the medicine by holding him down and forcing him to take it.
I got pink crap all over me, him, the floor,... what a mess... I couldnt believe it. Then i tried to reason with Phoenix.. I asked if he wanted to go outside? just take your medicine and you can go out. i knew for sure that would work.. But there was just no reasoning with him.. It was his way or nothing. and he wasnt going to take his medicine. he had decided.
Phoenix was getting sicker and sicker. I couldnt take it no more and called the doctor and asked for a shot to get him better. It was the same old Phoenix, call in the reinforcements, two nurses his doctor and me are holding him down so he can feel better.
He got the shot and now he is better again, and going to school tomorrow.
whew, what a kid

the religion of Crystal

over the last week leading up to Easter has been extremely rocky for the little Phoenix. he has been energized beyond your wildest imagination. he has been a constant vibration or buzz.
no naps no rest time no time for me to breathe. maybe his excitement for egg dying and chocolate bunnies got the best of me..... not him.
with the warm weather closing in, our grass needed to be mowed for the first time. as soon as Phoenix laid his eyes on the lawn mower. his world was in melt down mode. He instantly was terrified of the machine. the lawn mower had not even been started up yet. and Phoenix was screaming and wanted to be held. . I didnt understand what went wrong, why he reacted like that. all i know is it was bad. bad.. bad.. after i figured out what was causing his terror, i scooped him up and brought him inside the house and sat him on the couch. I wrapped him up in a blanket and held him as tight as i could. everytime i would try to move he would grab my arm and put my arm back around him. I could feel this enormous buzz radiating from him. I laid my head on his head, then i felt the buzzing getting stronger and stronger.. then i was surrounded by opalescence light. was it a dream to carry me into Phoenix's world? was it his aura? Phoenix takes me back to where i want to be.

its not far back to sanity...

sometimes i find myself contemplating...
do i hang on to the religion of Crystal?
my son is born a star child, of the Crystal children, Phoenix also has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
I dont know if i have made myself believe in the Crystal asscension as a religion or faith. Just to make myself cope with the Reality of my son's Autism. the thought of it makes me weep for myself and Phoenix. it is not easy facing the facts. my thoughts get the best of me.

if i look into the setting sun. i feel the light being eat by my darkness. nothing is real. living is easy with your eyes closed. it doesnt matter much to me..

Phoenix, my son you are very loving. I often catch you giving kisses to the trees in your yard.
you kiss the trees the way i wish you would give me a kiss. i guess the trees can do miracles for you.

Does heaven hold a place for you ? or do you create a heaven on earth just for you? its just another secret Phoenix holds..

i think its not to bad. nothing is real. i know when its a dream.

Autism Spectrum on the Golden Ray

I was speaking with Phoenix's teacher and was wondering if she could tell he has Autism. She clearly told me, you could diffidently tell he was "On the Spectrum" Then like a wave of spiritual information came flowing through me. not only is Phoenix on The Spectrum of Autism. But the Spectrum Of the Seven rays of consciousness. Phoenix was born on the sixth ray of the spectrum. The Golden Ray.
Now, Lets review the Seven rays.

The seven rays come out of the white light of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is like a full complement of all of the rays of the Christ consciousness. These rays are noted by the spectrum of colors that we see in the rainbow.

The first ray is the ray of God’s will, which has a frequency in the spectrum of blue. Those who serve on this ray are inclined to lead, to govern, to administer, to organize and to execute. They are very much concerned with the order and the energy of God’s will. They are great devotees of the will of God, even if they do not call it the will of God. They insist upon order and system in their lives and they are very devoted to this order.

The Chohan or Lord of the First Ray is the Ascended Master El Morya, whose retreat is in the etheric octave over Darjeeling, India.

The Second Ray, the ray of wisdom, vibrates in the color spectrum of yellow. It is the focus of illumination, the "illumined action" of God. This is the ray of those who teach, who understand and who know God through this illumined action of his wisdom and the wisdom of his law.

The Chohan or Lord of the Second Ray is the Ascended Master Lanto, whose retreat is congruent with the Grand Teton, Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

The Third Ray is the ray of the love of God, the very essence of consummation of oneness in the Holy Spirit. Through this ray whose spectrum is from the pink to the rose color, come the artists--those who are the creative, sensitive and intuitive souls. They are the ones who serve mankind through love, charity and compassion.

The Chohan or Lord of the Third Ray is the Ascended Master Paul the Venetian, who receives his disciples in his retreat, the Chateau de Liberte, which is over southern France.

The Fourth Ray extols the discipline and purity of God; its flame is white. This white flame is the way of those who would contact the inner design of their handiwork. In the honor and the integrity of the soul’s oneness with the law of perfection, they pursue the discipline of the mastery of their sacred labor, the work of their hands, which is the work of the Father-Mother God through them. They are the disciplined ones who are seeking ultimate reunion with God through the sacrifice of self.

The Chohan or Lord of the Fourth Ray is the Ascended Master Serapis Bey, whose retreat is the Ascension Temple on the etheric plane over Luxor, Egypt.

The Fourth ray path is the way of those who commune in the wholeness of the consciousness of the Divine Mother through purity of body, mind and soul. The color white embodies all of the rays; and therefore, ultimately, the disciplines of each of the seven rays bring one to this doorway, to the ascension, the soul’s eternal liberation.

The Fifth Ray is the green ray of truth and the science of God. It is a ray of healing and abundance which vibrates in the color spectrum as emerald green. Scientists, doctors, healers, mathematicians and musicians pursue a scientific mastery of the self and of the planes of Spirit and matter on this ray. This they do through a quest for truth in every discipline, including the healing arts. The fifth Ray is the means whereby those who require the logic of the logos can find their way back to the Christ consciousness, back to their God-design.

The Chohan or Lord of the Fifth Ray is the Ascended Master Hilarion, whose retreat is the Temple of Truth on the etheric plane congruent with the island of Crete.

The Sixth Ray is the ray of the Master Jesus, of peace and the ministration of God. It is the way of the selfless servant. The Sixth Ray has a frequency in the spectrum of purple and gold. Jesus once served as the Lord of this ray, but when he moved on to become a World Teacher, the Ascended Lady Master Nada became the Lord of this ray. This ray is the path of those who minister in the energies of peace to the evolutions of earth as counselors and comforters in every walk of life. Their inner vow is "I AM my brother’s keeper," and their soul motto is "He that would be great among you, let him be the servant of all."

The Chohan of the Sixth Ray is the Ascended Lady Master Nada, whose retreat is over Saudi Arabia.

The Seventh Ray, which has a frequency on the spectrum of violet, is the ray of freedom and the forgiveness of God through the alchemy of the Holy Spirit. It is the way of the priests of the Order of Melchizidek, the alchemy of the Seventh Ray of the Aqaurian Age, and the way of soul freedom. Saint Germain, who is known as the God of Freedom to the earth, is the Master of the Aquarian Age.

the Chohan--or Lord--of the Seventh Ray is Saint Germain, who has retreats both in Europe over Transylvania, and in the Cave of Symbols in Table Mountain of the Grand Teton Range, Wyoming.

http://www.summitlighthouseabq.org/seven_rays.htm

This explains a lot when it comes to the Little Phoenix. I have never taken him to church or spoke about Jesus to him. But Phoenix seems to know Jesus very well. It is because he is was born on the Golden Ray. Holy crap is what i think to myself. Every time he sees a picture of the living Jesus he has to hold it and gaze. he feels a strong connection to Jesus. But not as worship, like a Christian would, but as a child recognizing an old friend....

Crystal children that come to this planet are known as starchildren. this child my Phoenix is from the stars. no doubt about it. Stars shining above me, Phoenix whispers he loves me. what can i do, i feel like he is my son, but he belongs to the world.. I just pick up my feet.. keep going on my path.

I wish Phoenix would tell me all is thoughts on God. I have so many questions for him.

most important is what will come next for my Phoenix.. he has already be born on the golden ray of incarnation and evolution.also being born in the sixth dimension. we live are lives in the third dimension Phoenix has the potential to open up to the ninth dimension level of full christ consciousness. then comes the full universal consciousness. what kind of energy is this? something beyond my wildest imagination... it is very humbling..

there are going to be alot of little magical children running around the planet by 2012.. these children have an important job, and they will do it unknowingly. because it will be like breathing for them, and the energy will just flow from them to us and through planet earth. ascension ...

day to day on his drum

if i tell you Phoenix had a good morning that would be a lie. he got milk all over the front of his pants, before he got to school. geez, he looked liked he peed himself. when we got to his classroom he ran to the bathroom for me to change him. he knew his pants were not right. when we got done changing him,he went out of the bathroom screaming. Phoenix did not want me to leave him. He was at a very dark place and not doing well, he was glutching my leg not wanting me to leave him there at school. Finally two assistants grabbed him from my leg, and Phoenix went into the classroom screaming and having a meltdown.
God Bless you little Phoenix, look around and all you see is sympathetic eyes. He is hiding in a place where no one else sees. Its just a little secret that he holds.
I know this child is of the Gods, he crystalline energy is so pure and good. I wonder why Autism has a hold of him. Unlike most Autistic children, this crystal baby is so attached to me. He never wants me to leave his side. He wants to go everywhere with me.
Phoenix's voice is so beautiful when i hear words flow from him. I wonder what word he will learn next.
Its been a rumor that crystal children are telepathic. My crystal my Phoenix, speaks with his energy. And through his music, he doesnt seem happy unless he is on his drum.

First Days

Phoenix's first week of school went pretty good. The first day was a breeze, he didnt cry or fuss when i dropped him off at his class room. But the days that followed were not the easiest for him.
Everyday when I would drop Phoenix off he would start fussing as soon as we pulled into the parking lot of the school. As soon as we walked into the building, he would start crying. As we would get closer and closer to his classroom he would start crying louder and louder, disturbing the other classrooms.
Phoenix loves to paint and color with all the colors he can get his on. He is the little painter.
When I drop him off, i always tell him, we will meet again.
I know he is excited to see me everyday when it is time to pick him up from school.