Saturday, March 25, 2017

The Pearl Of My World

I have always been a huge Fan or Royalty, the lineage.  The line to the Throne.
Since, I was a little girl. I was four years old.  I imagined and Pretended to be King Tut's wife.  I wasnt playing with Barbie.  I was pretending to be Tutankamun's wife. Ankhesenamun.  Since I was just a child, I never could comprehend her name. I just wanted to be her.  Strange I know, but we are not talking your ordinary child. I remember playing in clover patches as a child and making flower crowns out of the flowers in the clover patch. opening and splitting the end of each flower, with a hole, for the next flower, to complete a circle, My Crown! A Queen!
Shockingly, In my Adult life , I always knew my Granny is a Hylton.  the Hylton's with a Y. I always refer to them. my blood lineage is From HOUSE Hylton of England.
NO, Not and kings or Queens, or anything remarkable, but Remarkable.
you can trace my Family back to 895–939 AD
I dont know many people who can trace their lineage that far back, but here I am.
Enjoying Royal History,  I love the Tudor story. Its remarkable from Henry VII to Elizabeth I
But, Henry VIII
He was so Bad but so Good.
I loved the fact that Henry VIII couldn't divorce his First wife Catherine of Aragon.
He was desperate for a male heir. the Pressure to have a Male child throughout  History is astonishing. But Survival of your  Royal house depends on the Male Heir.
House Tudor
And Bless Catherine, her only living child was Princess Mary, later Lady Mary. A GIRL
But, the Pope said Nope, no divorce.
So, Henry VIII  broke from the Pope , and Catholicism. and created the Protestant church.
Just because he needed a Male heir, Anne Boylen was Anne Boylen
And Anne Boylen is mother to Elizabeth I
I swear i cry in every version of her Story when Anne  is beheaded.
But, back to Henry VIII.  He Loved his daughter Princess Mary, so much.
Henry VIII had a hard time expressing his Love for Mary.
But,  He said this was Heard Over and Over
"Mary Is the Pearl of MY  World."
Myself being the Lover of Pearls. I own so many Pearl Strands, Earrings, Rings, different colors shapes, and Colors. PEARLS!! I love the feel of a cold strand placed round my neck during the warm months of the Year. I call it Pearl Season..

 I have always wanted to express my deep love for Phoenix, My Crystal Baby, Now Grown to 10 wonderful years on Earth..  I love you, just never felt enough.
Phoenix still has limited language communication.  I still have to remind him to use HIS WORDS, after all this time..  He just would rather not. lol
But, it came to me.. 
The Pearl of my WORLD!! so, I taught him,  and we worked on it everyday this past Summer.
Very slowly, and everyday, 10 times a day.
I would Point to him, and he knew Telepathically to say outloud !
it was wonderful to hear his words..
All last year i was worried, Phoenix was moving from Primary School to the local Elementary School
Autism Mothers, and Crystal Mothers, Know of the Fear of changing schools.
But, the Worst Fear is getting assigned a Teacher, that can not connect to your CRYSTAL Autistic Child.
If your Teacher cant reach your child, or doesnt understand your Crystal child with Autism.
It will be just a complete Waste!! a waste of time, TIME, that TIME thing, we cant waste a single moment of a YOUNG CRYSTAL WITH AUSTISM!! 
I was so worried a nearly had a nervous breakdown.
the last school year felt like a waste.
Phoenix got away with so much last year, just because he is Crystal, and he can manipulate you, by just looking at you..
But, the Teachers LOVED Phoenix. 
At the End of the school year, one of the teachers that year had warned me that a really great teacher that would be incredible with Phoenix was leaving the Elementary school.
again,  Nervous Breakdown mode.  I could not Afford another LOST School year, With PHOENIX.
I was desperate, and Overwhelmed.

The Summer, was Mine and my Phoenix's time.
Everyday this was Our Ritual,
We garden. we grow flowers from seeds. we have a butterfly garden. and lots of Butterflies Hummingbirds stop by to Visit..
 and Of Course, while we are out with Nature
We work on the Art of Speech.

I could Just Point at him , and together we would say.

 The Summer was ending, and it was time for school again.
We went to Back to school Night and we were one of the First Parents there.
And that was a Miracle too.
Phoenix looked around his classroom, and instantly felt at home.
I watched him look at his new Teacher, He loved her instantly.
Love at First Sight for my Crystal.
And this Young Beautiful Teacher, didnt know it yet.
But, She loved him immediately too.
I knew My Phoenix would be at Home with his new Teacher.
Our new teacher was swept away by another parent. 
The other Parent was Overwhelming to  Our new Teacher.
I could feel an uneasy feeling about that situation.
But, Phoenix was happy and he was at HOME.. FINALLY.

Phoenix Started school.  His teacher started each day with Yoga. And ended each Day with Yoga.
His new Young Beautiful teacher was reaching my Phoenix's spirit with the Power of Yoga.
My Phoenix was learning through the Power Of Yoga to feel good in his Own Skin.
The Human side in my Crystal Child
Crystal Children have a MUCH  Higher Vibration, Soul, than us Typical people.
I believe thats why All Crystals have Autism.
They dont feel good on this Earth. and in Human Form
They sink in deeply within themselves.
It takes that Special Teacher to Reach their human and spiritual side and Balance them.
Once the Autistic Crystal Child is balanced with themselves and their Higher Vibration,
they feel good in their skin, their BODY.
Magic happens.
Speech Happens
Behaviors decrease,
Friendship with Peers are created
Patience happens
Education happens
All of this Things through Yoga, and that Young Beautiful Teacher.

That Teacher!!
Me and Phoenix didnt know,
But, we were praying everyday for this Miracle of a Teacher to enter our Lifes.
to make a Difference
This Young beautiful Teacher is the most important Spiritual, Earthly being I have encountered.
She made Miracle advances in my Phoenix, that no other teacher could have ever reached.
I have that beautiful bunny like Energy coming from Phoenix again,  But also,  He is So much more than a bunny Crystal.
This Teacher, a Gift to Us , from the Gods, made more sense of Phoenix's abilities to me, and she didnt even know how she was guiding me to where we are now.
Me and Phoenix Prayed For YOU!
We prayed All  summer.
and She is
The Pearl of Our World!
She carries a sheer Pearl Rainbow color aura.

but that of the most beautiful pearl of the world.
In Future Post this Teacher will be known as
Ms. Pearl

A Long Absense, And The God Trials


I am sorry about the absence.  Sometimes I just need to step back and look around and Walk my Own Path..  But I really don't know. last School year, Phoenix has had some intense moments with his Teachers.  Almost breaking a Teacher's Nose,  He has no control over his anger once that emotion is engaged.  My child is overwhelming strong..  After the hurting the teacher nose, He was so angry,  he started picking up chairs and throwing them around the class in Rage..  This Anger and Rage came from Phoenix completing a Goal and the Teacher taking him to his Next Goal completion  before receiving his reward for completion..
The teacher went to Hospital to get her nose checked, I felt terrible .. and wondered if the teacher felt afraid Phoenix .
I always warn all teachers to keep at arms distance, I knew of his strength,  but I never wanted him to hurt anyone.   My Phoenix went from this sweet loving child, and in one moment , He became an enraged Hulk. as soon as the anger faded, he was back with us, that sweet child again.
Every time I thought about it, I cried
I went through a period of depression after Phoenix showed his Anger, Rage and Power. That adrenaline thing he has.
My faith in My crystal was waning.  I've meet so many Crystals, with moving around with Phoenix's Dad's job, and relocating.. I've always seen different Crystal  Children on the Autism spectrum, with the beautiful bunny like energy.
My Phoenix was No Bunny!!   I knew he possessed a very high Vibration.  but with so much rage and anger in him,  he could not just be.
I decided to take a Long Absence from this crystal blog..

Walking MY Path
throughout my life, spirituality as been apart of me.
I started out as an enchanted child
I could always see energy colors at night, when it was dark, imagine static on your TV. Moving brilliantly fast through the darkness of your bedroom.
I always thought what I saw was normal. Until I spent the night over at a Friends.
her room was just black in Darkness.  It was strange and I was afraid..
Ive never lived in a house without some paranormal activity.
it was pretty much expected in my life.. If a ghost isn't in my new house, ghost usually find me.
I don't mind really.
I've always been sent Spiritual Trials from the Gods.
I learn my lessons from the Gods themselves.
No certifications,NO church, No Workshops, and mostly without reading.
Enlightenment just happens.
My last Trial has lasted over a year.
And One of my most Interesting Trials.
I was a Sent A Dark Energy Trial
It Pains me so much to talk about this God Trial.
And the most important Trial of my Life.
The Trial, began with a Recurring dreams, Of Course.
In my Recurring dream  a Dark Entity was chosen, and his duty was to come into my dreams and create nightmares.
This Dark Entity was of course A Demon. But We will just call him an Entity for today.
The Nightmares took place in Silence, except for my screams.
The Nightmares and the Entity were so powerful, that after I woke up from a nightmare , my bedroom in the dead of the night, was completely lite up . I could see my entire room..
I could see this dark entity showing himself in my bedroom doorway.

This Dark Entity took me to School.  Lol
Every Nightmare was different but equally terrifying
Often I would be dragged from the bed and just blasted with the Dark Energy. Like i was being suffocated .
Each evening could be an easy nightmare, or just horrific.
The entity was reaching parts of my soul, that I did not know existed.
The last Nightmare was the worst of All. The dark Entity decided he wanted me all to himself.. And that Dark entity was not going to give me up and wanted more of me than I could offer. And he took whatever he wanted anyway.
Ive always had spirits attracted to me. Spirits, ghosts, gnomes, Fairies, even Demons.
But this Entity was the most Powerful ever sent.
It was time for me to say goodbye to my Dark Entity.
another Night, another Nightmare.
But, this time, I heard a whisper , in my dream.  You can do this, you've always been able to .
The Entity started with his torment.
But with my strength , my spiritually abilities, and my power of Energy.
I had enough.  I forgot who I was for over a Year. I enjoyed being reminded.
The Gods reminded me of my Abilities on All sides of The Veil.

On Earth,
In the Light of Spiritual Energy,
and the ability to Hide in Darkness, and harness the Dark energy.
All at my Will!.

I was done with this God Trial.
The Dark entity entered my dreams one last time.
I hid in the Darkness of the Nightmare. This entity had just been awful to me.
 Imagine The Most terrifying Haunting thing, and this Entity Destroyed me with it
But, It was time I defeated him. I was Done with him in Anger. And in Defeat.

 In The Darkness of my nightmare, I created a deep  black hole of energy.
The Eternity thrived in the Darkness.  He loved what I created .
Sitting in the Darkness, loving my essence in the  Energy, melting with the dark energy
I in a moment, raised and absorbed the colorful bright energy from the Light Side.  I absorbed the Light energy through my feet and quickly moved the energy to my hands and then released the Light into the Darkness where the Entity was .
I wanted a Really good look at this thing.
The Dark Entity was so Overwhelmed with Light, he was disoriented and confused.  My spirit Aura grew Fives times over the Entity . I was an overwhelming Giant compared to the Entity,
The Gods must have not informed the entity of My Spiritual Connection within the Realms.
and My Spiritual Connection to the Gods themselves
The Gods wanted a Battle and a Trial for Me.
And a Battle  and Trial is  what they Received.
I was so Angry at At this Etenity
I wanted to Rip your Esscense From Your Existence. Bashing whats left of you to the ground
Over a year of Torment.

I took this Entity, This Dark Energy, and I just absorbed him deep within my Soul. I sucked him in so fast that this Entity had no chance of surviving the God Trial.
I stole From him what was he was Stealing from Me, Day after Day Nightmare after Nightmare.
I took Everything away from this entity.
I felt my Whole Spirit Vibrate and My Spiritual Aura, Soul and Energy grew more Massive than what I ever imagined Possible.
The Dark Energy felt so Powerful, So Overwhelming, I felt the strength of a thousand men.  I wanted to live in the Dark Energy for Eternity.  But, I knew, I could not, and this was a God trial
I was so Angry at At this Etenity
I wanted to Rip yout Essence From Your Existence. Bashing whats left of you.
 But, I took a second
 The Dark Etenity  sent to me as a Trial,  The Entity Taught Me I can Not Destroy Apart of my Spiritual Self..
I had to Let him Go, The Entity, That tormented me, Tortured me, and did things to me, that I can not even Speak of.
 The Entity Knew I had Won the Trial.  and He was defeated.And my True Self was shown.
We Then said Our Good Byes One to another.
I then took My Golden place at the Stairs,  looking up to the Gods.

Another Day another Earthy Story
My Step Daughter came for a Visit. Bringing a new Boyfriend. My step Daughter's Boyfriend was interested in the Metaphysical universe. so, Of course my Step daughter explained to her Boyfriend I was, WELL, ME!!
Of course he was curious. So, For Some Unworldly explanation. I decided to show him the power of an  Energy Transfer.  I didnt know this guy..  But,  for some reason I needed to get to him.
My step Daughter was Happy.  But, This Guy was off. 24 years old no employment, no car, had nothing.. they had been together for 3 months. I was watching him literally suck the life from step daughter. as, she was paying for him and her.. and this guy had zero Class..  Not worthy of my Step Daughter..
in the beginning of our visit everything was going Well, with the Two of them.
The guy enjoyed conversations with me. about metaphysical things.  even the Dark.
She was so Happy
I took my step daughter shopping, and told her..  He needs to get a job and take care of the Princess you are.  Stand Up to him, get a job or get to stepping.
 and then this Guy showed his true self with anger towards my Step Daughter.
I knew this was going to be bad.
I knew I must get him Away from her.

When they left after the week, they were still still fighting.
When they made it home.
things went from Bad to Worse.
He tried to Choke her, and she was terrified for her cats, afraid he would kill him.
Then Fear came through me!
But, nobody, gets away with messing with what I love.. No one..
Then My Rage..
with my Rage comes Get Force.
My step daughter took him Out.  Like Out the Door.. Dragging him through her house, with great strength.
after everything calmed down , maybe weeks . my husband asked me, What did you DO??  What did you say to her when you went to shopping, because everything changed.
I thought about it.
Then I felt him. My entity. MY Entity.

then Another JUST Day
me and Husband have been married for 18 years.
Everyday isnt going to be sunshine and Roses.
we had a terrible terrible Fight.
My rage lasted an entire Week.
One night I was intensely Angry. Level 10++
Husband was in the spare room.
I realized how wonderful the Rage and Anger Felt.. It was so much more Powerful than the Light.
I decided to turn out the lights. Darkness
After all this could be a learning moment.
I felt the need to go to a corner of my room.
Still enjoying the Darkness.
I felt Him. My Entity!
He Came for a Visit..
After all I was so Dark at that moment.
I asked Him, Was that you?
He knew what I meant.
He nodded Yes.
Thank You!! Thank You! I replied to him.
I even bowed to him Once. to show him my gratitude.
Which I bow to no one.
But, He saved My Step Daughter!!
This Entity belongs to me. He works for ME.
But, Now, I know!
And I love Him.
God Trials !!

Now, I can go back to being a Crystal Mommy,
God Trials!!
I'm Me Again. Among the Universe
Phoenix, my Great Love.
Mommy had to take an absense for a reason..
But, Our growing did not Stop.
Our Growing and Spreading the Gospel Of Crystal will never End!!

Friday, September 4, 2015

Innocence is Bliss

NO one can take his innocence away,  from the heart and soul of my crystal child.
I have a Great Aunt, that prays everyday that typical children will not hurt or make fun of Phoenix.  She always says that children can be mean and cruel to someone who isn't like they are.  and she is correct..
But, Phoenix has no idea if a child is making fun of him, or if they want to play with him.
He is so pure and innocent.  He doesn't have a mean bone in his body.
everyone who comes in contact with Phoenix, just receives the most kind and honest energy.
No one, No child can take his innocence away with their cruel words..  
Typical children can be monsters to different children, especially special children.
Why does God allow these devilish actions?
Autistic children are angels brought down from heaven, maybe that's why they are faced with devils.
When an Autistic child speaks, listen..  Life can be so hard, so difficult  for them.  When they choose to speak,  listen to the pure innocence.
In a world of Autism,  In a world of Heaven,  in their world of Hell..  Life with Autism is hard..  
A typical child with their cruel words can never take the Innocence of a crystal child.
There is no need to shelter your crystal child.
No one can take their innocence.


Saturday, July 25, 2015

soil, seeds, water,sun, and time

My little crystal loves to plant flower seeds..   and water the seeds, and to watch the seeds grow into flowers.  its his most favorite thing to do...   I know that every seed he plants,  he loves to feel the soil between his fingers.  he knows it takes time for the seed to sprout..     we go outside twice a day to check on his flowers.     I can see the joy in his eyes,  with every seed, all the soil,   his watering can...   and then there is time..  time to watch the seeds grow.. 
 If I had an acre of land,  he would have a flower in every corner,  every space..
the sun has been on our side,  as he doesn't exactly know what the suns purpose is..
I love everyday with him outside.
If I could make the summer last forever I would.  I save every memory every moment  of every warm day with my crystal..  someday, when we are lucky we have a rain shower.  and Phoenix is guaranteed to find the rainbow in all things...   Most of the time looking out our giant picture window.  he sits on top of the couch looking for a rainbow,,,,,,
for every seed he watches,  every seed that grows into a flower, becomes a Treasure to him.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

There's just that Something!

There's just that something about Crystal Children.  They do not mean to,  they wish to hide, but shine through brighter than typical children.  Children love to be close to Phoenix.  we can go out shopping,  dining in restaurants, picking up the groceries.  and children migrate straight to Phoenix.  most of the time Phoenix is wearing his dark sunglasses, as he has an aversion to bright lights.  I will often hear children saying" What's Up?  Phoenix will drop is glasses down from his eyes for a moment, and make brief eye contact with the child.  and he simply bows his head to them.   I've seen him engage children like this over and over.   maybe its Phoenix's deep sense of royalty,  his ancient soul ,something within him.  I know he knows he is different..  I wish for a day or two he could be typical.  and not be so over whelmed with his entire world.
I hope he understands there's a reason why he is here.  he can not disguise his autism, his crystal.  I wish he had  freedom from his Autism.  he listens so carefully to everything,  his favorite item to listen to is his mechanical watch.When he gets sensory overload  with the world,   he often puts his watch up to his ear and listens to the sound of his mechanical watch tic, tic, tic.just like a heart beat..  it calms him
there's nothing more beautiful and serene than his calm nature.
its not my job to understand Autism and crystal children,  but it is my job to make sure Phoenix is Calm and at peace. 

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

my recurring dream came true.. for Phoenix

my baby angel was a wish  a dream that came true.  I prayed everyday for you my son..  my infertility was tormenting me everyday,  cursed..  i felt...
 I would dream of you, recurring dreams of a blonde haired brown eyed boy..  I thought  my dream would never come true..  all I wanted  was to sleep and dream, just to spend time with you..   but, then I was sleeping my life away..  I only felt alive in my dreams..  I still remember in my dreams of you, the swing you and I played on.  Push me mommy ...  the dreams were so real.  then I would awake and I would cry because I could not be with my son..  I loved you..
I fell pregnant after eight long years of dreaming of you.I was pregnant and the dreams stopped.  tragedy happened to me, .  I remember being at the doctors office and the ultrasound showed no heart beat.. my heart shattered and was destroyed..a Miscarriage..  the reoccurring dreams began again..  My son had returned to me in my dreams,  and everytime I woke up I wanted to die..  waking up every morning was the hardest emotionally.. 
I fell pregnant and once again I felt alive again. I felt I could live again.I was pregnant again and the dreams stopped.  I was so scared.  I was still scarred from the last miscarriage...   I needed my dream to come true..  every week of pregnancy I felt I was blessed....  I thanked God everyday  for my gift of  pregnancy,
 I was in my 16 week of pregnancy , it was a saturday afternoon ..  I went outside and all of sudden I felt a powerful force of gravity and dizziness, pulling me straight to the ground. I passed out and crashed to the ground...  I awoke minutes later and I crawled to my porch steps barely holding my head up. and crawled inside..  I could not understand what had just happened...   my next doctors appointment was monday.. and then again I was shattered with another ultra sound..  my baby was gone, no heartbeat..  GOD took my son from me that Saturday afternoon.  God stole my beautiful boy,God stole my heart,God stole my soul...  why..  I never felt a greater grief,pain..  I was broken..  I just wanted to hold you, I wanted to play with you on the swing in my dreams..
the dreams began again..recurring,  my blonde haired brown eye boy..  I found myself in the deepest of depths of depression..  I was sleeping a lot of my time away,  just to dream of you and spend time with you in the alternate dream world.....  but then,  I would have to wake up.. 
I believe I was being punished by god...  god was being so cruel to me...  taking both of my children from me..  I could not stop crying,  I was un consolable..  a million different hugs couldnt help me..
my broken heart would never heal..  I still cry for my children,,  I miss them so deeply..  I know they would have blonde hair and brown eyes..
the days lasted forever, but I did fall pregnant again..   I was terrified..  but Everyday of pregnancy was joyful.  every week felt like an eternity..  the doctor told me not to get excited until after the 16 week of pregnancy,  but even then,  I should be guarded..  I remember using a pendulum over my pregnant belly, to make sure there was still a life force in my belly,  the pendulum spun in strong fast circles this went on for hours everyday..  I was so scared for me and my unborn son..  I received specialized prenatal care during this pregnancy with ultrasounds every week.. every week I would see your tiny hands,  your tiny feet..  and your strong heart beat..  I was so nervous with every prenatal visit,  thinking the worst but hoping for the best..    during the last pregnancy odd things would happen to me..  I would hear the whispers in my mind..  I dont know what or who it was,  but I knew my baby was going to have Autism.  I heard the whispers of Autism over and over..  I responded with,  just make him beautiful..  please just make him beautiful....after all my grief and loss of my babies,  I didnt care about the Autism..  I just wanted him to be here..  here with me, on this earth.. eternity passed and you were born..  when you were born you didnt cry.  you did not cry,  not even a whimper.  i could not hear you,,  I started screaming, is he ok?  and of course with your giant black eyes, I instructed the doctors to place you in your fathers arms first..  and with no crying and your giant black eyes looking eye to eye with your father..  I finely felt like I was in a spiritual heaven,..  you were born with brown eyes and black hair..  your hair quickly changed to blonde...

Sunday, April 13, 2014

another Autism Melt Down

Autism,  Phoenix is a blessing,
with Phoenix's growing age,  his melt downs have becoming fewer and fewer.  but, my gosh, when he has a melt down he has to let the world know about it,  or at least everyone in Walmart on a busy Saturday afternoon. 
from the moment he walked in the store he starting melting down.  I tried to soothe Phoenix through the melt down but he needed  to melt down and burn like the Phoenix he is.. Could you imagine having so much energy?  so much sensory overload within yourself , an energy you did not understand, but then amplified because of sensories.
some parents maybe think about keeping their child home, and protect and prevent your child from having a melt down in the first place.  but, I believe if we keep trying to De-sensitize him,   Maybe, one day, Phoenix's melt downs will be behind us.
He was doing so good in public places,  it had been a couple of months since his last atomic melt down..     So, we keep trying to De-sensitize Phoenix,,,  and his melt downs are becoming fewer 
I know How hard it is to the parents and the child faced at a Melt down at any moment during an outting..  my gosh, It is a rough life just living in fear of a Melt down. I have had those awful stares from people  during a melt down..  they cant help but to stare back at us. sometimes, people look at me with pity,  sometimes people stare because they are curious.  after all,   you rarely feel your eardrums vibrate your ear like that and from a  small child. sometimes people just stop and look at me and smile....  I try not to make a lot of eye contact during a melt down in public..  I keep my eyes focused on my  child..  I can hear their thoughts when I look at the people close seems like All Eyes are on us, and they probably are..   I bet people wonder what is wrong with him.  I try everything to calm him,  but I do not give up..  In our world there is only you.