Wednesday, May 4, 2011

all their eyes

Phoenix and I went to Walmart to gather some groceries after Speech Therapy today. We were buzzing through Walmart just like usual. Phoenix was in the square part of the cart, just minding his business looking at all the people and of course the Giant Wall of Candy beside him. then, we approached an elderly silver hair man. he looked at me and then to Phoenix sitting in the cart. He looked me in the Eyes and said to me " GOD BLESS YOU, god bless you and your SON! i just rolled my son away as quick as i could. I thought to myself LOUDLY " That Just Happened. JESUS CHRIST!"
Well, bring it on.gimmie More... HA... give ME all your Blessings... I will take them thank you.
But i will will tell you this...
it can be humbling, it can be amazing, and just down right unnerving. and People wonder about me, ALL the time...I keep everything so secret, when you meet me face to face. i will look you in the eyes but that is ALL. I have lived in this town for three years and i know NO one but They All Know me.. could you imagine that?.. it will be Summer soon, and i will begin covering my face again with Giant hats and BLAck sunglasses, the mountain Sun stings my face, the more I Cover Up, the more i will stick out... and that it Turn will make phoenix stick out.. OH, and when i go to Phoenix's school to Pick him up, its feels like the entire town is there Picking up their kids... I just want to RUN the other way, but instead i get to Walk Past All the Parents waiting in the Hallway for the BELL to ring. Phoenix's Early Childhood Class is in the middle of the school, so, i get to walk past all these People to get to my Phoenix. and when I get him, I have to walk Past the People again. this alone drives me mad... I feel ALL their EYES.........
if you are wondering how or why these people know me,or even my name..... I wonder the same thing.....but, i could blame this on my husband.. I could...
okay, so back to Autism and the Crystal baby, i think a little came out on the page.. whoopsie..
Phoenix is doing okay other than kicking and biting... in class.. his report card actually read that.. I couldnt believe it. but okay.. his early childhood class is going okay except story time in the library. phoenix hates it, he cant sit still through storytime. Phoenix's teacher explained to me that most four year olds have a hard time sitting still.. hmmm i agree.
next year Phoenix will begin math, because he loves numbers and shapes so much.. i believe he will benefit from learning something he enjoys..

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