Wednesday, June 20, 2012


can you tell me if this life is fair?
I wish I knew.
as everyday passes I feel more and more disconnected from  my family. maybe they think of me sometimes.
I dont know why. autism maybe.
People always fear what they do not understand. but a family I do not have.  its pretty sad.
It came clear to me when asked at one of Phoenix's meetings with the school board,  Do you have any kind of support system,  or family to help you out with Phoenix? I smiled and looked at my husband, and we shook our heads no.  No one, just us.
I do not mean to be to so disconnected. 
I feel that love went away when I moved away.  Out of site out of mind.
All I have to talk to is you, and the rest of world.
I wish my family just had a minute with Phoenix in his own enviroment.  He is brillant beautiful child. and I wish they wanted to get to know him.  time just keeps speeding up, every minute going faster and faster. before we know it time is up. Phoenix is already five.  I often think, maybe they just do not want to know him. it hurts. I try to understand how people become so self absorbed with themselves. I will never understand.
nothing is ever easy.
has Autism disconnected me too?

I will move on now. 

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