Cure Autism

this story has been lurking in my mind for months now so here it is..... one day i was in a parking lot and i glanced at the car beside me, and there was a " cure autism ribbon" on her car. i thought to myself, "CURE AUTISM really? " and the thought of curing Autism boggled my mind.. but then Last night I realized maybe the "Cure" would be for the lost fathers out there. As mothers we seem to understand Our autistic Sons . but for the fathers and dads out there.. i wish the cure would be for the father's hearts to be healed. Autism effects a father deeply.. dreams,, a fathers dream for their son to be in their own image...
As Phoenix grows his speech continues to improve. but not fast enough for Phoenix's father. i feel awful for my husband when a Typical child is around him and Phoenix. IT is So Very clear the difference.. and i feel my husbands hurt.... Please find a cure for that Pain.
Phoenix on the other hand is fine. he is talking and is almost Potty trained. Phoenix is Crystal and we cant cure that either......... Sensory is crazy... if you have a crystal child as sensitive as mine, bless your heart.
today is the first day of April... its Autism awareness month... if you are lucky enough to receive a hug from an autistic crystal child... take it.. its very close to heaven..

the wish.. American Tax payer

if i were to have a wish for my Autistic son, my little crystal child, Phoenix.
i know this may be seem strange for most of my readers, but here is the wish.
the wish for my son is.. to one day Become an AMERICAN TAX PAYER!!! i do not wish for my son to be a burden on medicaid funds, SSI checks, Food stamps. and this is exactly what will happen if we do not change the Tides of the Autism trend. Insurance companies are denying speech therapy, occupational therapy. and anything and everything that is.. Autism. my husband works for a Large and Powerful company in the United States. and That company ALSO says NO to Autism treatments and the company owns the insurance company. here is the only example of insurance coverage for Speech Therapy...... the person would have to be injured, i.e. car wreck, and loose their speech, then, and only then will speech therapy be covered. I have read that parents of autistic children have faked injuries to cover speech in desperation.
"oops JOHN DOE fell down the stairs and lost his speech" BAM speech therapy is COVERED!
Phoenix's per session (not per hour) is $120.00 so, if oneday Phoenix cant make it through an hour his speech therapy session is over. thats...... $120.00 funny right?
some parents can not afford the cost of speech therapy.
where i am, Phoenix is in an early childhood class in the Public school system. and he has a speech therapist provided by the school.
through most of my reading, being a parent of autism.... the earlier and intense therapies work best the younger the child. that's why Phoenix has a private therapist along with the school therapist, and he is in the early childhood class.
God has provided opportunities for Phoenix in so many ways. God put us here in this good Place for Phoenix.
I dont know, but autism is such a mystery. the autistic children are like snow flakes, NO TWO ARE ALIKE. I also believe this to be true of the Crystal children. no two are alike
and as for the wish. Phoenix, when you are old enough, i pray that everything we have done for you amounts to you becoming an AMERICAN TAXPAYER, and not a burden on the state.
i dont understand AMERICA???
pay for Autism therapy NOW, and gain an American tax payer later....
or NOT?

that ITCH?

I have Been Fighting a reoccurring skin rash on Phoenix. I have used so many products to help clear up this Rash. the doctor prescribed some hydrocortisone 2.5 % and it need not do anything to clear up this Rash. so, then i mixed hydrocortisone and Aveno together to clear up the Rash and it Did Not Work! i even tried, Oil of olay moisturizing shower wash. on him and eliminating bath water on skin.
Well, i love skin products, so, and I have been using cetaphil moisturizing cream for my face in the evening. And one night Phoenix happened to be in my bathroom after a shower. and i just bent down and started smearing the Cetaphil cream all over Phoenix's legs. and i really didnt pay much attention to Phoenix's legs until the next evening at his shower time. and Phoenix's legs appeared soft and not dry at All. well, i thought.
I have continued to keep him moisturized with the Cetaphil. but, i have noticed there have been more skin bumps healing and then reappearing on another area of his skin. i dont know if Phoenix's diet has anything to do with it. Phoenix did get into Candy yesterday and he woke up with really dry skin this morning. i feel so bad for Phoenix because i do not know if his skin itches him or not because of his Autism . but i have never seen him scratch either.. i have noticed when Phoenix's skin is soft his communication is better and he can focus on an activity for longer periods of time.
i dont really know, except i will keep trying cetaphil. if you try the cetaphil for dry skin for your Autistic child, be sure its the cream and not the lotion. the cream has mineral oil in it...

more and more

dear god please, i dont mean to bother you, but this you can fix. Please hear me cry.
Now, God, I need you, dont fail me.
God has given me a Son. I need my child to be like the rest.
i seem to have so many problems that i dont know an answer to. i want a LIFE for my son with ALL the World has to offer.
Phoenix is talking more and more. Autism sucks. i hate the Label of Autism. even more the label of the high functioning Autistic. which Phoenix has been newly titled. my husband was super pissed until i pointed out some other high functioning autistics.
I believe these super children with fantastic talents are here for a Reason. more and more are born everyday. Phoenix's memory is remarkable..

Escape From Phoenix

well, if you have stopped by today, you will see that i have Not written in a while. I have suffered great writers Block.
it all started with a visit to my mother's with Phoenix . my mother is highly spiritual. But her spiritual path is different than mine.
From the Moment of Our Arrival, Phoenix was Wired into the Univerese. And at my Mother's it is Full Of Spiritual Energy. I believe their is even a Sweat lodge held on the property at least once a month.
Phoenix went into overLoad. and his behavoir was awful. When he walked into the House he was into everything. In my mother's house, there's crystals, Indian Drums, just all kinds of things.
well, my mother's boyfriend of 20 years doesnt like Children to begin with. And Phoenix unnerved him intensely. So, much so HE had to Go to His Room to get Away from My Son, Phoenix.
i understand that Phoenix's Autism is Really Hard to Comprehend. Hell, somedays I dont get it..
I stood confused.
this is not the first time this has happened to me.
My sister and her boyfriend felt the Same way about Phoenix on a visit . They too wanted to escape my Phoenix.
so, this happened to me Twice, with my Own Family. this Lead me to think and think about Phoenix as a crystal Child.
again we read that Crystal children Are loving in Nature, and people swoon over them in their presence.
when your Own family wants to retreat Away from Him.
this could cause reasonable Doubt.
but, fear Not. the Little Phoenix kept reaching for same book in my library, Over and Over again and pretending to look through the Pages. He lead me to the Lost Books of the Bible. The book of thomas. Reading about Jesus as a child has given me Great Comfort. and Jesus was not a very nice child while growing to be the Messiah.
in other News! Phoenix made the Local Paper! He was in the very center of the picture. it was of him making a gingerbread house with the Other early childhood class.
I wonder what drew the Photographer to Center Phoenix in the Picture?

the tree of my dreams.

i have wrote many times of my recurring dreams of Phoenix years and years before he arrived.
many times the boy in my dreams sat underneath a large tree.
i knew the tree in my dreams was had red leaves, and i can not explain it, but i knew it was an Oak tree.
when i moved to my new house there was a large tree in our back yard. i didnt know what kind of tree it was. Phoenix has sat underneath this tree for so many hours, playing and digging in the dirt.
i knew i needed to find out what kind of tree this in my yard.
i sent a leaf picture to a tree expert my daddy. my daddy can name any tree. he helped me and my sister pass biology call with our leaf project.
here the email to my daddy
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

looks like a red oak to me

----- Original Message -----

From: shelly brown

To:

Sent: Saturday, October 30, 2010 11:47 AM

Subject: my pics

hey daddy, i just posted some some new pictures on facebook. in those pictures their is a pic of a leaf that belongs to a tree in my backyard. please tell me what kind of tree you think it might be. thank you love you. Always shelly

my life with my son keeps getting more and more mystical. on the other hand, i get depressed and lonely. Phoenix has Autism. and it sucks. plain and simple. i can not explain how
challenging it is to raise a crystal child.
crazy some will say.
i have to find a place for phoenix in the ordinary world.
i wish he just fit. but he was never brought into this world to just fit... he and the other autistic crystal children, will make the world fit them. a path to accenting
his silence, my words i can not teach you.
remember my words. long ago forgotten.

the dark crystal

we are approaching Halloween. with this Phoenix is having a Sensory Flare. maybe just a coincidence .
although my first magickal lesson was, There are no coincidences in this world.

yesterday was a bad day for Phoenix his teacher told me.
the class was very excited to be celebrating Halloween with a costume Party.. which, i absolutely think is Fantastic. i guess the energy of the excitement was an overload for him. which i want to switch overload to Flare. it makes more sense to me.
the halloween song that the class and him sang all week drove Phoenix into a sensory Flare. he could not tolerate the song on party day. the only thing that had changed was the excitement of the Party.
he started screaming and covering his ears. was Phoenix in Pain? i dont know.
He had a difficult day, he didnt even take a nap. he was up from 7am until 10pm. that's a lot for a three year old.
Phoenix was very glad to see me at the end of the day. His Sensory Flare caused him to go into a dark crystal child. i know this is probably never been written about. Mostly you read about how crystal children are sweet little angels. blessing All that come around them. and all the happy bunny energy.
not my Phoenix. i know its crazy but its true.
when Phoenix is experiencing a sensory Flare, his little body cant handle the immense energy surging through his body. I believe he acts out through covering his ears, and melting down. to protect himself, he reacts through his dark energy.
where Phoenix is Dark, Phoenix is Light.
he knows both of those realms intensely
what i must do for my Phoenix is to teach him how to make energy flow.
everyday though, as soon as he walks in the door from school, he takes his shoes off, and rips his socks off. he then kisses his feet.

maybe this is how he deals with his excessive energy, he already knows how to ground himself. he just cant take his shoes off at school.