is it to late

no one expected Autism.  what could I do?   is it to late to say I'm sorry???.      Your eyes  I get lost in,  are so big and bright..  please dont bother,,   you're already here..  I'm sorry. but I wanted you to be here so desperately.. I did whatever I could do..  how would I Have Known you were going to be born into Autism,  but I did..   your first words were so soft,but barely there..  ,
now, its me,, I'm Not here..   lost in a different world..  please try to find me..      as I found you......I still believe in miracles...  a tiny miracle is found in all your words  everyday..  

I feel like I am so lost, at times.. Autism sucks you in,,  like a black hole, caught in the universe..  there isnt to much escaping from it..  All day,  and sleepless nights. its a good thing I have insomnia myself, I guess that's why my crystal was born to me..  

a while ago, people should not even bother to find me..  but, this, Shelly StarZZ.. is still here.for you and the rest of world..
Autism, and a Crystal,,  I could cry..  when you walk into a room filled with people, most people with awareness, stop what there doing immediately,  just to take a look,  or get close to you..  the people do not understand,  they just think you are a beautiful boy,  and are drawn in with your giant black eyes..
what can I do, except but to let people share the world with you..

Moving days and Tactile sensory

Our family has just completed our relocation  with my husband's work.  I was so depressed and full of anxiety leading up to the move.  I was so worried about Phoenix moving houses and changing schools.  Phoenix was going to an Autism school before the move. I thought he was doing okay. but, then all of a sudden his tactile sensory has been off the charts.  Phoenix has been driving me crazy with this tactile sensory overload.  My hair is in a bun on my head because Phoenix cant keep his hands off my hair.  I've tried other sensory toys to try to help him with this sensory.  but nothing seems to work right now.  except my hair and anybodies hair he can get his hands on.  it has been tough.  his teachers at his new school have to wear their hair up too.  geez,,
Phoenix has always had strong tactile sensory overload.  When he was a baby, he would pull his hair out and roll his hair between his fingers. Then Phoenix discovered fluffy from a couch I used to have.  He would tear a hole in the couch to get the fluffy out. then his hair finally grew out.
I just hope  his sensories calm down because it has been tough especially since Phoenix experienced a sensory overload to a Christmas family get together.

the Self Made Vegetarian

I dont know how many parents go through this with their Crystal children?  But my Autistic crystalline child refuses to eat meat.  every evening we go through the same ritual. I fix Phoenix's plate with a tiny bit of meat on his plate. and every single night I get a NOPE!  "will you please taste this Phoenix?" he takes a fork full puts the meat in his mouth and he spits the meat out in the trash can every single time.  at least he tastes the meat, which goes in the trash.  we have have been learning over time, about his intense dislike of meat.  I have read over and over that Crystal children are vegetarian.  but,I never understood how the crystal children became vegetarian. I always just assumed the child was vegetarian  because of their parents being vegetarians.  or something like that?
my crystal child love vegetables,  you can place a piece of corn on the cob, and lima beans on his plate and Phoenix is so excited to eat. he says over and over "delicious" "delicious"
can you imagine?  I have a self made vegetarian.
Is your crystal child a vegetarian by choice?
amazing isnt it?