No News is good News

Phoenix has been going to a special kids camp this week. on the first day at the kids pick up point, i swear i could barely keep it together. i think i packed and repacked Phoenix's camp bag 5 times. making sure he had everything. All i could keep telling myself , was NO news is Good News... over and over. I know the camp would call if Phoenix could not handle it. but all is going great. there are a couple of children Phoenix's age.

Phoenix is learning to swim in the lake this week. they said he loves the water and never wants to leave the lake..

it was so hard letting him go to camp. but priority is getting him around as many children as i can..

we received a reminder notice for Phoenix's Autism appointment. My husband refuses to take Phoenix back to the doctor that diagnosed him with Autism. he thinks that the follow up appointment will be a waste of time and money.
he is probably right when you think about it.
there is no medication to help Phoenix's Autism, which if there was a medication, i dont think i would have him take it.
what could the doctor tell us really........ "okay your son still has Autism, and that will be $199.95 please."


We are seeing positive results from school and him being around the Typicals...
his vocabulary is around 100 words right now.
which is fabulous.

after camp this week, i have to find something for Phoenix to do the rest of the summer.
I tried the library, there is no story time there. i was super mad, because the library had a sign for story time...

Locked in

i am just kinda of sitting around today and these waves of rainbow energy keep penatrating my spirit today. Spending the day today with Phoenix. he is napping at the moment.
I wonder today??
I wonder if a demon has stolen his speech. or maybe an evil witch from the past placed this hex spell on him. or, Autism stole his words.

Phoenix hears everything, but still has trouble saying his words.
Phoenix tries so hard to talk to me. He will babble made up words that sound like jibberish to me. his voice is in there, i know it, it just seems like he is Locked in.

I have been giving Phoenix fish oil omega 3. One capsule a day for maybe three weeks now. I have noticed that
His words are growing more and more. He is finally beginning to say three words phrases. We are still working on the potty training. It is hard to potty train when he cant tell me when he has to go. He is getting it though.. believe it or not. we are half way there.

nervous

today is Phoenix's last day of school. I am so nervous today, and i dont know why?
Phoenix will miss going to school. he has really enjoyed learning to play from the Typicals.
this summer Phoenix will be going a day camp. he will get to be with other kids which will be good for him.
may the gods give me patience this summer.
maybe that's what has me so nervous. me and Phoenix 24/7..
he is something to keep entertained. we will be playing for hours, days at the park and library story time.

the Typicals

Yesterday Phoenix was playing outside. It was Sunday, so the neighbor's grandchildren were over playing in the backyard. The children were around Phoenix's age. maybe a little older than him. one of the little boys came to the fence, to take a look at what Phoenix was playing with. the little boy was talking to Phoenix, and Phoenix just stood there. It was very telling, that Phoenix is different, not a typical three year old, but he has autism. every time I see a typical child, i just want to cry. i feel so bad. I often wonder what Phoenix will sound like one day. he does want to talk but just cant. Phoenix being around typical children is very important. he learns how to be typical child.

Hair cut

Phoenix got a hair cut. All of his long blonde curly hair is gone. i must say, he looks like a little boy now. He is growing so fast. His Autism shows more days than others. or i dont know, maybe he just decides to do whatever he wants to and not listen to me.
Phoenix has been doing okay on his potty training. it is not easy, because he can not tell me when he has to go. Ocassionally i will get a Pee Pee from him, which is a step foward.
somedays Phoenix wants to talk so bad. He will just sing his jibersh. I know he knows what i am talking about when i do talk to him.
Phoenix has been kissing me more and more. It is a wonderful thing.

i can hope

no summer school for Phoenix. Budget cuts have been deep here for the school system. school will be out for two and a half months. with no speech therapy. that means, i will have to work even harder with Phoenix this summer. i think he will be okay. he still has 2 more years of early childhood to go. a lot can happen within that time. my goal is to him mainstreamed by kindergarten. that's a big goal, but his vocabulary is steadily increasing. I can hope.

the good and just strange

today is the day i find out if Phoenix made it into summer school. it would seem to me that the school would provide speech therapy for him over the summer. Autism and regression go hand in hand. You constantly have to work with Phoenix's speech. It is so strange. what comes to us naturally in human communication and speech. Phoenix has to really work hard to say his words. He actually understands words, and what they mean. He just can not verbalize. ??
Phoenix has become more and more loving. He is now kissing me. Not only is he kissing me, but the trees in the yard, the flowers, the bushes. He was kissing the plants way before he would kiss me. I still wonder what that's all about.
today when i dropped off Phoenix at school, i noticed the teacher's dog in the class room again. it's freaking crazy. i take the good in this, and think to myself, she's Phoenix's teacher, and helping him with social skills, making friends, and basic preschool skills. so, i let the dog issue go.. balance right? the good and just strange

placebo effect

Phoenix has been receiving his fish oil supplements. I cut his dosage in half again. i dont want to overdue it. Its only been a couple of days since he started taking it. and his eye contact has improved. I do not know if that's the placebo effect of the fish oil, but it sure is nice to be able to gaze into those eyes of his. I feel like i can see to the ends of the universe when i look into his black eyes. the benefit of a crystal child.
i read it takes around 12 weeks for you to get the omega 3 built up in your system. that's the entire summer. speaking of summer, Phoenix is getting ready to be out of school for the summer. wow, i have a big job in front of me. Phoenix's dad wants him to go to the YMCA for the summer. i dont think they can handle him and his autism, i really dont. Phoenix is in a class of 15 and he has an assistant all to himself. He is not a bad child. he just doesnt follow directions. he has a hard time sitting still. Library seems to be pretty hard on him right now. he has to be quiet and sit still. i think that would be hard for most three year old boys.

Fish Oil

I was posting information over at Autism Articles and a came across several articles on the topic of Fish Oil and Autism. Omega 3 is what the vitamin is called. The fish oil is suppose to help calm, aid in concentration, and their behavior is suppose to improve, A lot of mother's use fish oil as a supplement for their adhd children. I dont know, but i like what i read. the Fish oil is like a wonder pill. but it also reminds me of the snake oils of the early days. Crazy salesmen would be peddling their snake oils to heal what ailed the sick. The snake oils probably gave sick people Hope when they had no hope. Is that where i am with the Fish Oil? is it giving me hope?
I will post Phoenix's progress with the Fish Oil. He has just started taking it. I bought the Nature made 1200mg no smell Fish Oil. Two capsules equal a serving to get to the 1200mg dose. I only give Phoenix one capsule at a time. I just pop a hole in the capsule and add it right into his strawberry milk cup. So far he has not noticed the oil in the milk. I only give it to him only twice a day, and some of the oil sticks to the cup.

Field Trip

Phoenix had his very first field trip with the his early child hood class and the junior kindergarten class went too. there were thirty very small children, ages three to five years old running around everywhere. we went to a historical train museum. there was a train engine and cabooses to look at. Phoenix's autistic sensory issues kicked in when the steam horns went off. He was again in the terrified mode. but he quickly calmed down today. Phoenix loved riding the miniature train around the train yard. At first he was squirmy and fidgeting and fighting me, he did not want to sit down on the train. I just held him down, he was going to ride this train. finally the conductor got the train going, and when we got moving Phoenix realized he loved riding the train. He was in heaven. we went around the track three times. When the train ride was over he did not want to get off. it was a wonderful thing. we then went into the museum and there were two beautiful cats. Phoenix just loved them.
after the kids finished riding the train all the kids got on the bus and we took off to the park.
all the children sat on the benches. the classes separated to eat lunch, but i could see the jk class. it was a sea of soda, among the jk, i could not believe my eyes. the parents of the jk must have brought the soda. I also saw a big tub of brownies for the jk. thank goodness nothing like that was brought for the early childhood class. over all Phoenix experienced something new.
i think the best part of the day for him was when he was chasing the bird in the park......

more Blast

I received a notice from Phoenix's school about an early childhood, jk kindergarten play. I was so excited to see Phoenix interact with the other kids. I wondered to myself what he would be doing since he cant communicate well. The day came and me and Phoenix's dad went to the play. We were thrilled to get to see him. But when the Play time came, Phoenix was no where to be found. His dad went to his classroom.. there was Phoenix sitting by himself with a pile of blocks.. I felt crushed... why was Phoenix not in the play? the teacher nervously told us the kids had been working on it all year. and Phoenix arrived in March and wasnt ready to be in a play. oh, i thought. She told us she was sorry and should have told us.. REALLY? Phoenix wasnt even allowed to go see the Play. I know he can get disruptive because of his Autism. but it still just sucked for me and his dad. he had left work to see the Play. we felt like Phoenix was entirely left out . I am still not happy about it. but i guess i can try to understand what happened? and learn from it.
another thing that's bothering me about Phoenix's teacher... She brought her dog to school. the dog stayed all day long in the classroom. I just happened to see her and the dog at an afterschool function. she was holding the dog and walking around the school yard with it. I could not believe my eyes. it was weird. She even told me shes allowed to bring the dog to school.. Whoa, i mean i love dogs and everything. but i dont think you should bring your dog to school.... one word, allergies... i know there has to be kid in that school thats allergic to pet dander.
no harm no foul, i guess

Blast!

its been a roller coaster of a month for me. i never imagined how much energy it takes to mother Phoenix and keeping my energy balanced at the same time. it has been exhausting for me spiritually, emotionally, physically.

Our visit to florida was emotional for me. Almost all emotions were felt by me.Every single emotion activated . I was so wore out when i came home, it took me weeks to return to balance. I can finally write after everything has come into focus.
My husbands family lives in florida. so i got to visit with my mother in law and stepdaughters, and poor grandma.
When i was with my husband i felt at ease, when we went to a wonderful restaurant by the river. Phoenix was quiet and ease at the restaurant. but earlier in the evening my mother in law had plans to meet her boyfriend at some restaurant. the first thing i asked her , is it Kid friendly? in front of my husband, she said of course.. when we arrived at the restaurant, we walked through the doors, and, it was a Sports Bar... jam packed on a friday night. his mother insisted it was okay for us to eat there.after waiting for 45 minutes in this crazy bar for her boyfriend, my husband was Furious, it was 7:30 and Phoenix hadn't ate yet when it came down to it, she was only concerned about her boyfriend. I hated it for my husband. what was once was a negative night for my husband, turned into a fabulous evening. even Phoenix got a pretzel and peanut butter dip appetizer.
it was an unbelievable experience with my mother in law. from the wonderful time we had together at the yard sales to shopping. the gods were smiling on me that day..i stumpled upon 2 large temple rubbing complete with frame. I call them my girls.. now, whats better is i got both of them for $10.00. I was so happy, i almost cried. this all because my mother in law took me to yards sales. so that i was grateful for.
while me and my mother in law were having some girl fun, my husband went to go get his 16 and 17 year old daughters. and that was nice when we got to see the kids. and Phoenix got to see his sisters. Phoenix loved playing the back yard. Believe or not a raccoon came to visit Phoenix, right in the middle of this giant city. His sister even got some pictures of the raccoon on accident. She was taking pictures of Phoenix, and the raccon happened to be in the background. it was strange.
later that day we were all playing and Phoenix was playing with a ball. my mother in law said to me, you should go get him another ball from the house. I said to her, "he is fine with just one ball" then she looked at me at said I was stupid. i said "Really, why is that? " she just stormed off. at first, i just wanted her to explain why i am stupid, but then it dawned on me, she just called me stupid. just because i didnt want to go back in the house and get a silly ball. my husband just picked up the ball and started playing catch with Phoenix. and i joined. while i was throwing the ball, i just kept thinking, wow, she just called me stupid. I was crushed. later when me and my husband went into the house, we were alone, and he asked me, "did my mom just call you stupid" i said, yes she did. my husband thought he had heard that. but could not believe it and thought he had misunderstood her... i told him this. "people say dumb stuff all the time, and maybe she just had one those moments." he said maybe....
then the next day she called my husband dumb, for the way he was packing the pictures of my girls. oh, i would like to think that the stress of taking care of grandma after she fell, has taken its toll on her. maybe... just maybe.

wondering about..

My Phoenix has returned to school after a long battle with sickness. that virus-demon attacked the Phoenix to the bitter core..
wondering to myself, if the an Ocean visit would cleanse the soul. leaving for the beach soon..

Life's Crystal experiences are coming one after the other.


after an Easter visit with Phoenix's Half sister. I learned that she has the ability to receive telepathic messages from the little Phoenix. Phoenix would just jump off the chair at her suddenly without any warning. Then his sister started hearing his Voice in her head. He would message her and tell her to "Catch Me" "Catch Me"
it must be the Indigo-Crystal connection.

From my experience it seems Indigo's have the ability to receive telepathic messages or directly communicate with Crystal Children.
again, i dont know if I am an Indigo, maybe I am just intuitive.
What I do know is Phoenix has an Autistic classmate. This child is on a different part of the Autistic Spectrum. Every time I look at the child I wonder about him. Does he stay up late at night like Phoenix? Does he have sensory issues? Does he giggle by himself in the corner of the room ? Does he stack blocks? Is he crystal?
well, today I was walking in the school parking lot and passed the little child and his mother. of course i was wondering something about the child, this time Was he Crystal, because his eyes were not big and deep like Phoenix? just as i began to wonder and think more about the child, i turned around to get one last glance at him as he walked away with his mother. the child turned and looked me in the Eyes from 15 ft away and giggled then went back to walking. I have seen him so many times at school, and he never looks anyone in the eyes. but for a moment, just a moment. He chose to look at me, right in the eyes. if you ask me what i felt, i just felt connected to him in a spiritual sense. He gave me something though. A Crystal Confirmation. There was no doubt this child is a Christed one. I felt it.. and he is not even my own child. small miracles

During Phoenix's sickness he became a little artist. He has one those doodle erase pencil attached things with the slide that eraser. you know what i am talking about. Phoenix can now draw faces. It is weird. The pictures are so scary looking. but amazing. i am going to have to take pictures of his art. but before i can get to it, he erases it with a quick slide. then it is gone forever...

No medicine please

i dont even know where my head has been for the last week.
Phoenix has been so sick. I will tell you now from experience. When this Crystal gets sick, Wow.. this is this is the third time Phoenix has been sick. when he was younger, he got sick with a double ear infection and running a 104 temperature. Phoenix was first prescribed Amoxicillin. you know that bubble gum medicine for kids.. And the medicine did not work, his fever had reached over 104 degrees. we went back to the doctor, and he pre scribed some white medicine, that was suppose to be stronger than the Amoxicillin. I started giving the new medicine to Phoenix hoping this would heal those poor ears.
But instead Phoenix broke out in hives all over his body. I am at my wits end at this point. I grabbed the little guy buckled him in his car seat, and drove as fast as i could to the doctors office. I got to the Doctor's office and they were closed!! I call his doctor's office from my cell phone and no one was there. I got to listen to there marvelous answering machine, telling me it was Friday and they closed at 1:30. As i looked at my watch it was only
1:00. Jesus, Really??? So, i rushed Phoenix to the nearest Urgent Care. The Urgent care took him right him. And the doctor's come to the realization to give a shot him of antibiotics. I was desperate by this point and said okay , bring on the shot.
Phoenix screamed in Rage, He had to have four people hold him down to get his shot. This kid is no joke. after 12 hours his fever broke and he was soon back to his curious self.

the second sickness rolled around about a month ago. Phoenix missed his entire last week of speech therapy. Another bout with his ears came knocking. Poor baby right?
i wanted to try Amoxicillin again, because it is not so strong.
Phoenix would not take this medicine. I got pink medicine all over me, him, the carpet.. Phoenix just power spit it out. He just refused it. then we got smart and mixed it in his strawberry milk. that was the end of that battle and he got better.

the third sickness, just rolled around. Phoenix was burning me to the touch. I knew i was facing another Battle to get him well again. I rushed him to the doctor. Phoenix's ears seemed to be fine, but we knew the cold would go straight to his ears and cause another double ear infection. Phoenix was you typical Crystal child, He required his doctor and two nurses to be held down, just so the doctor could take a peak in his ears, and listen to his lungs. The walls were literally vibrating from him screaming. I know he felt like his space was invaded. I tried to explain to him they were just trying to make him feel better.
The doctor recommended around of Amoxicillin. Okay, i can do this, i will just pay the 2.99 for the added flavoring for the medicine, and just mix it again with his milk. Right? wrong!
Phoenix refused to take this medicine. I tried mixing it with tea, milk, gatorade V-8 strawberry banana. Nope he wouldnt take the medicine. his fever then jumped to 104. So then i tried to force him to take the medicine by holding him down and forcing him to take it.
I got pink crap all over me, him, the floor,... what a mess... I couldnt believe it. Then i tried to reason with Phoenix.. I asked if he wanted to go outside? just take your medicine and you can go out. i knew for sure that would work.. But there was just no reasoning with him.. It was his way or nothing. and he wasnt going to take his medicine. he had decided.
Phoenix was getting sicker and sicker. I couldnt take it no more and called the doctor and asked for a shot to get him better. It was the same old Phoenix, call in the reinforcements, two nurses his doctor and me are holding him down so he can feel better.
He got the shot and now he is better again, and going to school tomorrow.
whew, what a kid

the religion of Crystal

over the last week leading up to Easter has been extremely rocky for the little Phoenix. he has been energized beyond your wildest imagination. he has been a constant vibration or buzz.
no naps no rest time no time for me to breathe. maybe his excitement for egg dying and chocolate bunnies got the best of me..... not him.
with the warm weather closing in, our grass needed to be mowed for the first time. as soon as Phoenix laid his eyes on the lawn mower. his world was in melt down mode. He instantly was terrified of the machine. the lawn mower had not even been started up yet. and Phoenix was screaming and wanted to be held. . I didnt understand what went wrong, why he reacted like that. all i know is it was bad. bad.. bad.. after i figured out what was causing his terror, i scooped him up and brought him inside the house and sat him on the couch. I wrapped him up in a blanket and held him as tight as i could. everytime i would try to move he would grab my arm and put my arm back around him. I could feel this enormous buzz radiating from him. I laid my head on his head, then i felt the buzzing getting stronger and stronger.. then i was surrounded by opalescence light. was it a dream to carry me into Phoenix's world? was it his aura? Phoenix takes me back to where i want to be.

its not far back to sanity...

sometimes i find myself contemplating...
do i hang on to the religion of Crystal?
my son is born a star child, of the Crystal children, Phoenix also has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
I dont know if i have made myself believe in the Crystal asscension as a religion or faith. Just to make myself cope with the Reality of my son's Autism. the thought of it makes me weep for myself and Phoenix. it is not easy facing the facts. my thoughts get the best of me.

if i look into the setting sun. i feel the light being eat by my darkness. nothing is real. living is easy with your eyes closed. it doesnt matter much to me..

Phoenix, my son you are very loving. I often catch you giving kisses to the trees in your yard.
you kiss the trees the way i wish you would give me a kiss. i guess the trees can do miracles for you.

Does heaven hold a place for you ? or do you create a heaven on earth just for you? its just another secret Phoenix holds..

i think its not to bad. nothing is real. i know when its a dream.

Autism Spectrum on the Golden Ray

I was speaking with Phoenix's teacher and was wondering if she could tell he has Autism. She clearly told me, you could diffidently tell he was "On the Spectrum" Then like a wave of spiritual information came flowing through me. not only is Phoenix on The Spectrum of Autism. But the Spectrum Of the Seven rays of consciousness. Phoenix was born on the sixth ray of the spectrum. The Golden Ray.
Now, Lets review the Seven rays.

The seven rays come out of the white light of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is like a full complement of all of the rays of the Christ consciousness. These rays are noted by the spectrum of colors that we see in the rainbow.

The first ray is the ray of God’s will, which has a frequency in the spectrum of blue. Those who serve on this ray are inclined to lead, to govern, to administer, to organize and to execute. They are very much concerned with the order and the energy of God’s will. They are great devotees of the will of God, even if they do not call it the will of God. They insist upon order and system in their lives and they are very devoted to this order.

The Chohan or Lord of the First Ray is the Ascended Master El Morya, whose retreat is in the etheric octave over Darjeeling, India.

The Second Ray, the ray of wisdom, vibrates in the color spectrum of yellow. It is the focus of illumination, the "illumined action" of God. This is the ray of those who teach, who understand and who know God through this illumined action of his wisdom and the wisdom of his law.

The Chohan or Lord of the Second Ray is the Ascended Master Lanto, whose retreat is congruent with the Grand Teton, Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

The Third Ray is the ray of the love of God, the very essence of consummation of oneness in the Holy Spirit. Through this ray whose spectrum is from the pink to the rose color, come the artists--those who are the creative, sensitive and intuitive souls. They are the ones who serve mankind through love, charity and compassion.

The Chohan or Lord of the Third Ray is the Ascended Master Paul the Venetian, who receives his disciples in his retreat, the Chateau de Liberte, which is over southern France.

The Fourth Ray extols the discipline and purity of God; its flame is white. This white flame is the way of those who would contact the inner design of their handiwork. In the honor and the integrity of the soul’s oneness with the law of perfection, they pursue the discipline of the mastery of their sacred labor, the work of their hands, which is the work of the Father-Mother God through them. They are the disciplined ones who are seeking ultimate reunion with God through the sacrifice of self.

The Chohan or Lord of the Fourth Ray is the Ascended Master Serapis Bey, whose retreat is the Ascension Temple on the etheric plane over Luxor, Egypt.

The Fourth ray path is the way of those who commune in the wholeness of the consciousness of the Divine Mother through purity of body, mind and soul. The color white embodies all of the rays; and therefore, ultimately, the disciplines of each of the seven rays bring one to this doorway, to the ascension, the soul’s eternal liberation.

The Fifth Ray is the green ray of truth and the science of God. It is a ray of healing and abundance which vibrates in the color spectrum as emerald green. Scientists, doctors, healers, mathematicians and musicians pursue a scientific mastery of the self and of the planes of Spirit and matter on this ray. This they do through a quest for truth in every discipline, including the healing arts. The fifth Ray is the means whereby those who require the logic of the logos can find their way back to the Christ consciousness, back to their God-design.

The Chohan or Lord of the Fifth Ray is the Ascended Master Hilarion, whose retreat is the Temple of Truth on the etheric plane congruent with the island of Crete.

The Sixth Ray is the ray of the Master Jesus, of peace and the ministration of God. It is the way of the selfless servant. The Sixth Ray has a frequency in the spectrum of purple and gold. Jesus once served as the Lord of this ray, but when he moved on to become a World Teacher, the Ascended Lady Master Nada became the Lord of this ray. This ray is the path of those who minister in the energies of peace to the evolutions of earth as counselors and comforters in every walk of life. Their inner vow is "I AM my brother’s keeper," and their soul motto is "He that would be great among you, let him be the servant of all."

The Chohan of the Sixth Ray is the Ascended Lady Master Nada, whose retreat is over Saudi Arabia.

The Seventh Ray, which has a frequency on the spectrum of violet, is the ray of freedom and the forgiveness of God through the alchemy of the Holy Spirit. It is the way of the priests of the Order of Melchizidek, the alchemy of the Seventh Ray of the Aqaurian Age, and the way of soul freedom. Saint Germain, who is known as the God of Freedom to the earth, is the Master of the Aquarian Age.

the Chohan--or Lord--of the Seventh Ray is Saint Germain, who has retreats both in Europe over Transylvania, and in the Cave of Symbols in Table Mountain of the Grand Teton Range, Wyoming.

http://www.summitlighthouseabq.org/seven_rays.htm

This explains a lot when it comes to the Little Phoenix. I have never taken him to church or spoke about Jesus to him. But Phoenix seems to know Jesus very well. It is because he is was born on the Golden Ray. Holy crap is what i think to myself. Every time he sees a picture of the living Jesus he has to hold it and gaze. he feels a strong connection to Jesus. But not as worship, like a Christian would, but as a child recognizing an old friend....

Crystal children that come to this planet are known as starchildren. this child my Phoenix is from the stars. no doubt about it. Stars shining above me, Phoenix whispers he loves me. what can i do, i feel like he is my son, but he belongs to the world.. I just pick up my feet.. keep going on my path.

I wish Phoenix would tell me all is thoughts on God. I have so many questions for him.

most important is what will come next for my Phoenix.. he has already be born on the golden ray of incarnation and evolution.also being born in the sixth dimension. we live are lives in the third dimension Phoenix has the potential to open up to the ninth dimension level of full christ consciousness. then comes the full universal consciousness. what kind of energy is this? something beyond my wildest imagination... it is very humbling..

there are going to be alot of little magical children running around the planet by 2012.. these children have an important job, and they will do it unknowingly. because it will be like breathing for them, and the energy will just flow from them to us and through planet earth. ascension ...

day to day on his drum

if i tell you Phoenix had a good morning that would be a lie. he got milk all over the front of his pants, before he got to school. geez, he looked liked he peed himself. when we got to his classroom he ran to the bathroom for me to change him. he knew his pants were not right. when we got done changing him,he went out of the bathroom screaming. Phoenix did not want me to leave him. He was at a very dark place and not doing well, he was glutching my leg not wanting me to leave him there at school. Finally two assistants grabbed him from my leg, and Phoenix went into the classroom screaming and having a meltdown.
God Bless you little Phoenix, look around and all you see is sympathetic eyes. He is hiding in a place where no one else sees. Its just a little secret that he holds.
I know this child is of the Gods, he crystalline energy is so pure and good. I wonder why Autism has a hold of him. Unlike most Autistic children, this crystal baby is so attached to me. He never wants me to leave his side. He wants to go everywhere with me.
Phoenix's voice is so beautiful when i hear words flow from him. I wonder what word he will learn next.
Its been a rumor that crystal children are telepathic. My crystal my Phoenix, speaks with his energy. And through his music, he doesnt seem happy unless he is on his drum.

First Days

Phoenix's first week of school went pretty good. The first day was a breeze, he didnt cry or fuss when i dropped him off at his class room. But the days that followed were not the easiest for him.
Everyday when I would drop Phoenix off he would start fussing as soon as we pulled into the parking lot of the school. As soon as we walked into the building, he would start crying. As we would get closer and closer to his classroom he would start crying louder and louder, disturbing the other classrooms.
Phoenix loves to paint and color with all the colors he can get his on. He is the little painter.
When I drop him off, i always tell him, we will meet again.
I know he is excited to see me everyday when it is time to pick him up from school.

Pretty

the weekend has flown by. the weather has been sun shiny and warm. I went to have Phoenix's physical done for school. Phoenix does not like the Doctor's office or the Doctor for that matter. His doctor is a small aged Asian lady, with little personality. Poor Phoenix every time he sees the Asian lady doctor, he has a full blown melt down. Phoenix's physical went easy this time. I did show the doctor his rash on his legs. Phoenix breaks out with certain soaps. I have to be extra careful with his clothes, soaps and lotions. Sensitive Phoenix is.
After the doctor's visit, we took off to register Phoenix for school. AS soon as we walked in the school's office Phoenix starts touching everything,balls, books ,papers,paperclips. Soon, a lady walks in the office and has a full blown Crystal Engagement with Phoenix. Phoenix locked those big brown starry eyes on her. And she stood there gazing at him as he gazed at her. Then a few minutes after that Phoenix ran and grabbed some kick balls and started playing with him. The next thing I know the lady keeps saying over and over, "he is so Pretty" "he is so Pretty, wow" I dont know what to say except i wish she would have said something other than Pretty. Phoenix is a boy after all..
Oh, tomorrow is the first day of school for Phoenix. I cant hardly believe it. I wonder what the impact he will have on the people and children at school. He has been a lonely child sitting at home with me bottled up with spiritual energy. Its been the two of us for so long. I wonder what he misses from afar maybe a different time and place, maybe another space in time. I whisper I love you to Phoenix. he hears me.. you and I....

I cant believe Phoenix being a Crystal has gotten us here, and going to school at age 3. Is it the autism? speech? oh... I dont know.
I cant wait to get Phoenix to the Ocean. It will cleanse and charge at the same time. Little Pisceian (Pisces)....
MAybe next month.

is he different?

Phoenix is different than most children with Autism. Phoenix never had a vocabulary, and then lost it. Most Autisic children start out as normal children, saying words like mama and dada. But then all of a sudden their vocabulary simply disappears, and the child they once knew, is not that child anymore. Phoenix said his first word at around 18 months old. It was like his tongue didnt know how to move to form the words. When he said Dada the first time it was more like DerDer. I remember i was thrilled, then he quickly said Mama. It was so strange. I must say Phoenix's voice is very deep and raspy. And as always when he says a new word it is a miracle.... I believe his vocabulary is at around 30 words now. Thanks to speech therapy and play therapy.

Phoenix finished up his speech and play therapy this week. The therapist came over and gave him a party to celebrate. He starts school Monday. It is hard on me because i wanted to spend the next 2 years at home with him. But he must go to school. Phoenix will be going to an Early childhood education program for children with special needs. I believe he is special..

Sensory,Fluffy and a Crystal

When Phoenix was a mere nine months old when he started tearing up my Couch. Phoenix would tug and pull at the couch until he had a hole to pull the stuffing out of it. Which we now call Fluffy. Phoenix loves to roll his fluffy between his fingers. The first time i knew he had sensory issues was when his play therapist noticed him pulling the Fluffy out of the couch. She just said, Oh, he has sensory issues. Really? I never knew, but Fluffy relaxes him in such a positive way. Even when a trip to Walmart doesnt go well, I can get him some Fluffy and he giggles and just starts rolling the Fluffy between his fingers. Phoenix has other sensory issues, after three years, I can finally vacuum without him screaming in fear. Taking him out to Malls is really tough on him. I guess he picks up on all the different energies and he really doesnt understand how to process it.
Is it the Autism that causes this sensory? Or is this Crystal just super sensitive to energy?

Crystal Mirror Gazing

The sun is shining brightly through the windows. Phoenix runs to the bathroom, jumps on his stool and starts to gaze intently into his own eyes. I could feel myself being pulled into the mirror with him. It seemed as if a portal had opened in those deep dark brown eyes of his. I felt my spiritual self being pulled in along with Phoenix. I had seen that face of his before. oh boy.
I would love for all Crystal Mothers to feel this peace of Knowing. Knowing is so critical of Crystal Mothers. and Phoenix just told me all about it, by simply gazing in the mirror with him.

Its in a dream. All the Crystal children, where do they come from? Where do they all belong.
Where are all the Crystal Mothers? Many mothers are keeping silent, for good reason. But, these Crystal are gifts.

Phoenix is of the stars. As the Sun has a Place in sky.

I know I have read that Crystal Children are born To Indigo Adults. I dont know If I am an Indigo Adult? Plain and simple. But I do Know that I have been blessed with a Crystaline Child.
It is the Blessing of Crystal and the Curse of Autism. Crystals diagnosed with Autism is hard mentally and spiritually. I have no problem communicating with Phoenix. And most outtings to Walmart end with Phoenix screaming has he leaves the store. Maybe its sensory overload for him. Fluffy seems to help. Fluffy you ask? well, we will talk about Phoenix's sensory issues on another post.

school

Phoenix and I had a meeting with the school today. it went really good. Phoenix ran around the classroom trying to pull down books and drag down the games. I think he will adjust to going to school nicely. Ya know in order for the school system to consider Phoenix having Autism Spectrum Disorder, he has to go through more test just for the school to say he has Autism. I guess his Doctor's report isnt good enough. Phoenix still qualifies for Special education because of his speech delay. But still, more tests? maybe not. I still think Phoenix is a part of the crystal children awareness. Phoenix is so aware of everything. He is an incredible child, with incredible potential. I often wonder when he is playing and giggling, who in the world he is playing with?? maybe his spirit guide, only he knows.

catching up

me and the little Phoenix have been terribly sick. i have been sick for nearly two weeks. and Phoenix caught it and the cold went to his ears causing a double ear infection. when Phoenix gets sick its really a rough time. he refused to take his antibiotics and spit the medicine everywhere. now i have pink spots on my carpet.
Phoenix missed last week's speech and play therapy. today's speech didnt go so well. he barely wanted to play and screamed alot. Tomorrow we are going to school to have a meeting. With Phoenix's autism they will discuss an action plan. including more speech and play therapy.
goodness i am glad we are getting over this sickness... wowza

Use your Words

Phoenix is moving on very nicely. His Play and Speech therapy have been a God Send, and has helped his Autism. What is being taught during his Play and Speech therapy? It is hard to imagine if you have never seen a child that did not know how to play. right? My Phoenix is being taught how to Play correctly. It is all about taking turns. When people communicate , its all about taking turns. sharing.
Phoenix's vocabulary has grown since he began this type of therapy. I am keeping track and so far he has about 12 words he uses everyday. I have to constantly remind him to use his words. "use your words" I think he forgets sometimes, he has to talk. Instead, he will grab my hand and lead me to what he wants. that is a form of communication. but i need to hear his voice, its a beautiful thing