That Transition thing..........

the summer blues are setting in. its hot in the mountains with not much to do.
Phoenix is growing and learning faster and faster. he can write his name. he calls it drawing his name. he can also draw his letters and numbers. its strange ,i can tell he imagines how to draw his letters in his head, as Phoenix thinks and puts thought to paper.
every weekend our neighbor has her grandchildren over. there's about four Typicals.
They always Invite Phoenix over to Play. Phoenix just runs away, and could care less about those children. I just try to smile as they ask Phoenix to come over.
its hard to handle but, I overheard the Children talking about Phoenix. One of the children said to the Other. " Phoenix DONT LEARN RIGHT!"
its crushing.. its things i dont understand. my son can do things typical children can not.
Maybe he does learn right but differently, and his memory is that of an elephant. he never forgets anything, except, he does forget how to use his words. and that would be the only thing, most of the time i believe he chooses not to use his words on purpose.

I know i am not the only parent of an autistic child that has felt this way. Yes, its clearly obvious my son is different than yours. he is nothing like your typical four year old.
as of late, transitioning from one task to the other as been dreadful. me and Phoenix's dad took him on a vacation to a waterpark. and Phoenix Loved it. he didnt understand when we left one pool, that there would be quickly another pool to visit. Phoenix would have a FULL on MeltDOWN when he left each Pool. He could not wrap his head around the transitioning from Ride to Ride ,Pool to Pool. I am sure people thought Phoenix was the biggest brat in the entire world. and at that moment i did do. my entire Body ached from head to toe, trying to pick him up or drag him around. I am sure Parents of autism understand when the kid becomes a limp noodle, and will not walk. I dont know how other parents handle this situation. all i know, is to bend down and pick Phoenix up kicking and screaming. and I calmly tell him we are going to another pool. oh, We all had the best time, but when Phoenix arrived at the next pool, he was happy again.
i do feel like I am on my own alot. its pretty lonely , most people have never been in the presence of autism. and they just do not understand. my family does not understand autism, simply because they are not around Phoenix enough to get to know him.
Transition is hard. Some parents use pictures for transition, but thats just to much for everyday situations. Phoenix's speech therapist recommended a timer with a beeper, to signal when its time to transition to something else. it works during speech therapy, we shall see

Simply Jedi..

I dont know about this. i still dont know how or why.
Phoenix and I were going shopping. he was in the cart being quiet for once.
we were shopping row by row. Down the juice isle we go. i needed some mix in energy drinks so, i am browsing for my favorite flavors, and i am rather close to the to boxes of mix ins.
the isle beside us had marshmallows, which are Phoenix's favorite. I think because marshmallows are mushy and Phoenix's sensory fingers love rolling the them between his fingers.
anyway, I grab my energy mix ins and look back at my child, and he has a bag of marshmallows in his hands. i could not believe it. but quickly as i begin to wonder how in the world Phoenix managed to get the marshmallows in his hands, a lady and her cart came behind me and i had to get out of her way. and the marshmallows left my mind as i needed to get out of walmart's crazy first of the month shopping day.
i began to wonder more and more about how phoenix got the marshmallows in his hands. i went back to walmart to see how the marshmallows were arranged in the isle. and low and behold the marshmallows were on the bottom 2 shelves. phoenix was in the cart, it was impossible for him to reach them.
I dont know how it happened. i will never know how he got the marshmallows in his hands. scenario after scenario has played in mind. but none make sense.
Phoenix, simply Jedi...........

the Crystal Seeker

Phoenix is off to camp this week. and he has been having a blast. everyday there is painting and swimming for ages 3-18. All these children at camp have certain disabilities. everything from autism to down syndrome. what i have realized through all my four years of parenting My crystal Baby is that I have been Placed in My Life to seek Crystals. WOW, i must say. I just had another Crystal Child appear to me.
yesterday, i was dropping off Phoenix at camp. along with other parents. and One of the Parents Just asked me, So, What's his Diagnoses? I just turn Around and look at the Parent, "Autism Spectrum Disorder" the Parent was Like Really. then the Parent looks at the lady beside me and Says " i think Your Daughter has Autism."
I think to Myself ... WHOA! Daughter + Autism = a Girl Child with Autism.. hmmm,
I asked the Mother of the Girl.. "can She Talk?" the mother said "Yes"
i looked at her and Said " that's Asperger's Syndrome!"

as the children were waiting in the Van this morning
something told me to start asking Questions about this little girl.
I could not help myself, I was being sucked in by this little girl.
How old is she? how many siblings?
then her mother started telling me everything i needed to know...
she even mentioned she needs to go outside and take long walks..

the girl is twelve is years old meaning She would have to be the Very First of the Crystals to arrive . the year would be 1999 Usually you would think at this Age you would have an Indigo/Crystal combo on your hands. Her energy Lacked the Cutting Energy of an Indigo. I have two Older Indigo Sons and I am very familiar with that Cutting Strike you Down Energy.

this Crystal Girl, Has Huge Black EYES. her eyes look like mirrors. when she looks into your eyes she steals your heart and grabs onto your Soul. She Placed her hand on the Van Window and said to her Mother " Mommy Mommy I love you!" it brought tears to my eyes.

I feel like i just found My favorite baseball player in a pack of baseball cards. its a spiritual RUSH,
to find Crystal child.. But,,, A GIRL!!!!

Which Brings me to wonder today. Its pretty rare to Find an Autistic girl even with Aspergers Syndrome. at least for cities i have moved too. and i will move again.... and again
i think that there is High Possibilities of these Girl Children Diagnosed with Autism being actual Crystal Children.

a Free Lunch

i received a notice in Phoenix's Book Bag. it Said "FREE Breakfast Free Lunch" i was thinking What in the Hell? i couldnt believe it!! the school Cafeteria is staying Open All Summer So the Children can Eat. the children do have to find transportation to get to the Cafeteria to Eat.
Summer after Summer, i have struggled to find Phoenix something to do, and find Typical Children for him to be around. Day after day i went to the Park, and there would not be anyone there.
here's a chance for Phoenix to be around Typical children in a Social Situation. Lunch time.
I would feel so strange showing Up for the Free Lunch! but i wouldnt be showing Up for a Free Lunch. I would be showing UP with Phoenix to be around Typicals. God, i would feel Shameful, As i have a refrigerator Full of Food, and a drawer full of Ramen noodles. Phoenix's favorite. I only give him half the seasoning packet, its full of yucky sodium.
its one Hell of a thought.
I dont know if i have it in me to show UP with my son..
A free Social Situation.

Cold Spots in my House

my house has been driving me crazy lately. maybe just too much time in the home.
there have been more and more Occurrences of Cold Spots in this house. as usual, i dismiss them everyday, but this morning, the Cold Spots Sent me into Chills and my hair stood up. I thought to myself "what the Hell" this is becoming a problem ,this house must be a ghost's playground.
you probably think of this as outside the normal. But, Every One, Including yourself, have experienced something ParaNormal. From normal people claiming to have seen a UFO, to ghost encounters. something strange has happened in your Life. think about it, maybe, you Dismissed IT just like I have, Over and Over.
god, help me at the things I have seen over my life time. unbelievable things have happened, right before my eyes and I loved it. When i was a Young Witch i used to believe I could do Anything With Great Confidence.
I used to believe I Could Rule the World.. Spiritually I walked with Gods. When you Do that and get to that level spiritually, you just continue to walk. some people feel that Divinity with Good Ole Jesus. most people are familiar with Jesus. i bet Jesus is Thanked over one million times a DAY!
THANK YA JESUS!
i wish jesus would come get these ghost out of my house. they are beginning to bother me.
back in the day, i could call a team to get them out. but i am so far away from that life NOW.
I am On MY OWN, everyday. and i am okay with that.
i need to focus on Why the Ghosts continue to want their presence known.
from Cold Spots, to faucets turning On, door knobs turning, its happening here.

that TWIN Flame thing..........

today is the last day of school for the little Phoenix. i cant believe another school year has Come and Gone. that's mere madness, how time just speeds up Faster and Faster as we Grow Older. when i was young time would drag and drag.... but know more. i dont know why, but i am a nervous wreck the last day of school. my sweet second son will be a senior in a matter of hours. maybe that's why i feel so, weird. I could start an entire other Blog on him entitled "the Indigo Teenager!" shew, that kid aint even playing around with his life. he is full throttle in his high school, and i dont push him at all. he is simply Self Driven in a Powerful way. i pray that will carry on into his work ethic.
Phoenix hasnt had much time with his daddy lately. his daddy works and works. and when his daddy his home and has to leave for work Phoenix's heart his crushed and he cries forever... as i have mentioned before Phoenix's lungs are Atomic. shew, my ears ring often...
one day this Past week my husband called me to meet him for dinner because he was working late. when we were leaving and Phoenix did not get to ride in Daddy's truck, he was crushed, and he cried and cried all the way home. i had to open a bottle of bubbles for him and he was okay again.
what i am noticing more and more, is his need of both Parents. maybe, it is the balance. but, i have never seen a child need both of their Parents like he does. my first son, was a daddy's boy, my second son, a mama's boy. and this Son. he needs both of Us. would you think that to be Autism, or his Crystal nature?
Sometimes, in your life you have those, oh, Memories?......
my memory took me back to a Beltaine years ago. Beltaine was my Holiday! anyway,I had just crowned a New May Queen.... So, energy was a GO GO.... into the night me and my husband were
standing next to each other, and this Powerful Third Degree witch came up to us along side my mother. and this witch said ... " OMG YOU are TWIN FLAMES! " i can remember the look in his eyes. yes, the witch was guy. i have met a handful of guy witches. and they were all some of the most Powerful witches i have ever encountered.
I had always knew there something different about me and my husband's relationship. it was a whirlwind courtship. we married after knowing each other for two months. its worked out.
maybe, just maybe Phoenix loves to be wrapped up into that flame. he loves to sit between us and put our faces together to kiss. its so cute.
i have read about Crystal Children being born to loving parents. In Phoenix's Case he is Born out of a flame.....
Twin Flames, soul Mates , Twin Souls, do exist.............

that Rare Unicorn

the coming of the New Age is Here. i think to myself.. (which i do a lot because i am stuck deep in the mountains)
I went on a field trip with Phoenix's Early Child hood class Last week. the class is filled with seven typicals and eight with developmental delays. Out of fifteen children, I found two crystal children this year. Phoenix and the other Child, both diagnosed with Autism. I have read that Autism Spectrum disorder is so broad. Each child,completely different from sitting in the corner rocking and spinning, with zero words to complete genius that needs to learn to talk.
while on the Field Trip i finally got to observe the two crystal children together. and let me tell you, these two Autistic Crystal children were talking to each other, but in their own gibberish language. the very same language gibberish Phoenix uses at home, but then i remind him to "use his words" it was an amazing experience. i asked his teacher if this was a common occurrence between the two, and she said usually when the two are Outside on the playground. hmmm?? Now, i want to tell you about the similarities of these two Autistic Crystal Children..
from talking to Phoenix's teacher about the two children. Both of these children have incredible memory. Both knew their letters and numbers by age two. Both Know their shapes. and Both are beginning to sound out the letters. and are clearly on the Path to reading. and finally both are four years old and will be five in the year 2012. of course in many ways they are different.
Phoenix's Sensory issues are off the Chart. he constantly needs to ground himself. he grounds himself by taking his socks and shoes off and Phoenix's beloved Fluffy..... but, as far as their Educational Mind and their ability to learn are at the same incredible rate.
i want you to think about how a parent should feel, think about your child at two years old that barely spoke a word. but in one moment in a toy store, you child jumps from his stroller to get to a bucket that held wooden letters. he would pick different letters up at random and used his voice to share the alphabet with you. wouldnt you be very Confused?
I had a hard time figuring out in Speech therapy separating Phoenix's knowledge and Phoenix's ability to communicate or Talk. I just could not wrap my mind around it. it made zero sense to me.
at times i search the internet searching for Crystal Children stories. i have found a couple of forums and groups here and there. but, as soon as i read that the Alleged young Crystal Child Can Talk and can talk in full sentences , i quickly click to another story. and then to another and another. There is no suffering there. that child can talk. Autism did not become your child's LABEL and you believe you have a Crystal Child. that child would be rare to encounter, like a Unicorn. but i read Far more stories about talking Crystals. I want to read about Autistic Crystals. Now, these children are interesting. these Crystal Children can command in the Spiritual World. not even on purpose, not even with words, just their mere presence.
there is also Autistic children that are NOT Crystals. those exists too.
with ALL Due Respect to my Readers, If you believe you have a Crystal Child that can talk. you have that Rare unicorn.
with phoenix it is like he has trouble forming his words. he tries and it comes out close, he really has to work Hard at saying the word Lemonade. he tries and tries.
i bet Phoenix thinks to himself, I don't speak your Language..............

I write to enlight

the ghosts have BEEN dancing around the house again. i saw a large shadow pass by in the living room. i thought it could have been my oldest Son. I went to investigate, down the hall i went, I opened my son's door to ask. hi,. and of course he had been sitting in the room the entire time. i do not know what is going on in this house? I imagine, I should just Ask Them "what is happening here?" I am tired of the ghost playing around. it is very curious, but then it gets to the point where it becomes aggravating. to be honest i do not want to be messing between the veils of the world right now. It just opens my spirit to things i just do not wish to face right Now. Not with all the love and light I have to send to each individual son and then my husband. oh my..
Somedays, i think to myself Why do i keep writing this Silly Blog. I write about strange things that most People would think would be absolutely unbelievable. I write because I feel there is a Parent that could feel alone and isolated raising their Crystal child. and know You are not...
i become A Different person when i begin writing this blog. my spiritual side comes shining through... its a wonder the ghosts are dancing in my house. their attracted to such Light.
...........................................................................................
it has taken me days and days to write this story. my mind is here and there and everywhere.
dont ask where i have been???

days have gone have by, and One night Again They have appeared Again. In a line Again. One after another and another. In a line going into Phoenix's room.
its is an experience. i need to wait late into the evening to take my medicine because i quickly go to sleep. i will then take a more in depth look into the phenomenon.

I have read about the Characteristics of Children hundreds of times. these crystal children are all portrayed with Fluffy Bunny Energy. I tell you from my experience, that is not Always the Case. Phoenix can Grow Horns in an Ultimate Moment and still Control the Situation. I believe since cutting down On Phoenix's sugar intake , it has made him a different child, with more and more words. and better results at Speech therapy. in the mean time, he grows more dominant with words.
One more week of school to go, and i cut down more on his sugar. it is so hard to cut sugar out at school......
i will leave you for now...............
Shelly StarZZ

Becoming Magenta.....

I have begun to notice huge changes in Phoenix. Phoenix was becoming different, different on a vibration level. the little crystal boy, in Phoenix's class has a happy bunny like energy. that crystal child is On the golden ray. 100%. Phoenix was born unto this Golden Ray but has evolved to the Magenta Ray. i could not understand what was happening to him. Phoenix has become more and more dominant. His personality is strong willed. So, Strong willed that he has total Control of his assistant teacher. i mentioned to her to take control of the situation. Or Phoenix will Melt Down unto oblivion.. Then comes back Bigger and stronger. Phoenix.....
my Phoenix on the other Hand has become an Artist on many levels. he can draw and draws i posted just a few of his pictures. but he draws and colors and paints. he loves it. Phoenix has strong interest in music, from trying to play his guitar, to him drumming late into the evening on his bongos and Congos. Phoenix is either drawing or creating music with drums, keyboard or rattles. and if he is bored with that he is learning the sounds of letters in the alphabet.
one thing, Phoenix has become Ultra sensitive. We have had to eliminate all sugar from his Diet, as it has caused Great Changes him and his behavior. so, we have cut all cookies and cakes and junk. its okay, his favorite snack is raisins.
Phoenix has been battling another Ear Infection. The more i read and study crystal children, the more i read about Crystal Children having numerous Ear Infections. I have read that something becomes off balance with the child or family and an Ear Infection is soon to follow with a Crystal Child.
Phoenix has had extreme bouts with Ear infections. His fever this Past weekend was 103.5. me and his DAD rushed him to the Hospital. his doctor's office was closed. Phoenix was held down and given two shots. you see, phoenix REFUSES ALL medicine. we cant put the medicine in juice, we cant hold him down and give him medicine, he clamps his mouth shut. He refuses it, it is the Craziest thing. instead he gets a shot..

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

my husband has been away alot recently. leaving me and Phoenix home alone and bored. my husband decided to take the afternoon off yesterday, to spend with Phoenix. he is going away again for a couple of days. so, we both went to go get Phoenix out of class early. and when i walked in to get Our son, uh my heart dropped when i walked in the classroom. the entire class was working on a smart board activity. and Phoenix was sitting in the rocking chair all by himself. his assistant was jib jabbing with a substitute. i thought i was going ripp some one's head off. but, i didnt. i did say, i Dont Ever Want to Come BAck In here, and Phoenix is sitting by himself. RAGE. and then sadness comes over me. Once Again, among Phoenix's peers he sticks out, singled out or is isolated.
what i can not understand.. is the difference between the child i wake up in the morning and the child that I leave in the classroom. its like having two different children. Phoenix talks at home, he talks in three word phrases. but, at school he is quiet about himself. or if he is mad about something at school he becomes defiant... he will slam the bathroom door and he will turn the lights on and off. Even with A stern NO his teacher can not make him stop. the teachers probably go through alot with Phoenix,and their patience wears thin with him.. its that darkness about Phoenix. at least he is ONE with both the dark Energy and the Light Energy. but he is Not One with your every day Life energy. that takes SO much work. its incredible.. maybe we will attain balance for him.
school can be overwhelming for him, I imagine, all those kids, everyday. even going to kindergarten was stressful for me .......... school could be stressful for Phoenix.
he knows and does so many things at home.
dr jekyll at home Mr Hyde at school. i hope the potion wears off soon.

Rapture May 21 2011

I have been reading about the christian group spreading their Gospel around about tomorrow. may 21st.......... gosh, the group went so far as to purchase 2000 billboard signs. you have to wonder..
i would like to write to you about my house. i live in a fairly modern home, and only one other family has ever lived here. Over the years, several of our children have reported extreme paranormal events that have occurred in the house. from, seeing a little girl, to hearing voices, water faucets have turned themselves on, and XBOX has powered itself. my oldest son reported the front door unlocking for him.... now, i have had so much happen to me spiritually. i really cant even meditate anymore, as i can get so deep spiritually that i really dont want to exist but exist in Everything.
i have taken into account what the children have told me, and left it there, almost dismissing them. i get so wrapped up into Phoenix, i just didnt think about it. Until the other night.
i had my first experience in my house. i believe this experience of all my spiritual encounters is UP near The top...... here it is
i was ready for bed and i had laid down for my nights rest. I have extreme insomnia and take diesels to sleep. and it was almost time for my sleeping pill to kick in, and i looked down my hall.
and i saw something unbelievable. i saw energy outlines of different colors, one after the other were moving in waves down my hall. i thought to myself.. "dear God?!" again my sleeping pill is kicking in, but, i was beginning to feel a little fear about what I was seeing. but i had to get one more look at this. i opened my eyes and there they were, one after the other, in a line moving foward. to give you, the reader.. an idea of what this looked like, think back to the 1982 movie Poltergeist. in this movie there is a scene in the film that shows the ghosts coming down the stair case. think of seeing that image but without the skeletons and faces, just the actual ghost. I could not hold my eyes open anymore, i drifted to sleep. i woke the next day and remembered the experience later that morning. when my eldest son came home, i told him about it. the first question he asked "Where were they going?" and i pointed "That WAY" well, "that way" turned out to be in Phoenix's bedroom. my son said "there is something about THAT KID! "
maybe there is something about that Phoenix. i dont know.......
maybe They were here to see PHOENIX.. maybe they are still here? and we live together... who knows?
may 21 2011 is almost here, and if the Christian group is correct, there will be a lot of people who suddenly disappear. i dont think we have to much to worry about yet at least not saturday. 2012 is approaching, we wonder again dont we??
IS the paranormal activity starting to pick UP? it seems it has here....... if that's an indicator, oh MY!
it is sad that People do not see what is happenning. the Christed children Are Here. and they are coming more and more rapidly as Autism Spreads. Autism... the crystal children in disguise..

Kryptonite Cupcakes...

It seems Phoenix's early childhood class has been in Birthday mode. And with birthday's come the cupcakes. Cupcakes and more Cupcakes. I have mentioned to Phoenix's teacher about his extreme sugar sensitivity. that does not make the Cupcakes go away, birthday's come and birthday's go.... I wonder....... if his sugar sensitivity was an allergy and treated like a Peanut allergy, there would be No More of those awful Kryptonite cupcakes. NONE! i understand the difference between allergy and sensitivity. you could ultimately die from a Peanut allergy.
i can tell you this
i can sit back on the couch and watch Phoenix become a different child after he eats a cupcake.
different kinds of cupcakes effects phoenix differently. just like the different colors of Kryptonite, Green, Red, Blue, Gold, black........effect Superman. thus i bring you the Kryptonite Cupcake.
the most gentle of Cupcakes would be white cake and vanilla frosting, after a couple of glasses of water and a few hours Phoenix's patience and words come around.
and the worst of the Kryptonite Cupcakes is by FAR, the Chocolate Cupcake with Chocolate frosting... Just one of those Cupcakes takes Phoenix somewhere far, far, away.......... its sad, because Phoenix doesnt understand any of this..... he just says on the way to school " cupcakes,, OH BOY.. birthday birthday!"
if you were a mother, and you witness your child just suddenly disappear and just become a whole different child.. and cupcakes are to Blame. what would you do? tell his teacher, no, NO cupcakes for Phoenix, and the rest of the children get cupcakes....... that would make him seem even more different. maybe as his tiny body grows, he will be able to tolerate more sugar... until then..........

the EDCD waiver.

i just took a deep breathe as i begin to write this.
the EDCD waiver is One of the Most Unbelievable things i have ever Heard of.
The EDCD waiver stands for Elderly and Disabled Consumer Directed waiver. This waiver serves elderly and persons of all ages with disabilities. An individual must meet nursing facility eligibility requirements including both medical and functional needs.
you can read here for a more in depth look at the EDCD waiver.
http://cuddlebugkids.blogspot.com/2010/01/va-medicaid-edcd-waiver-introduction-in.html

i was first introduced to the EDCD waiver from Phoenix's former Occupational therapist. She happen to call me and asked about Phoenix attending summer camp. and in the conversation, somehow it turned to this waiver.
The EDCD waiver would allow Phoenix 20 hours a week of in home care. WHAT?
and then i was told that The EDCD waiver wasnt based on Our Family Income. The edcd waiver was Based On Phoenix's Income! WHAT! He is four. But then i was told of the many autistic children who receive SSI. a social security disability benefit check a month. Then i thought back for a moment to the Day Phoenix was diagnosed with Autism. At the end of the appointment Phoenix's Doctor asked us if we wanted her to start the paper work for SSI. me and my husband looked at each other and laughed. No thank you. anyway, back to the EDCD waiver..
my next question about the EDCD waiver was Funding. Where does the money come from? the answer. Federal Funds. again i thought to myself, what? REALLY. our National Debt is spinning out of control, and if approved for the EDCD waiver Phoenix would have a 20 hour per week NANNY! and FULL medicaid benefits PAID by YOU THE AMERICAN TAXPAYER.
I do not think the EDCD waiver is for Phoenix..I stay at home full time to take care off him. I know there are many Parents working full time and could benefit from the 20 hour in home care
for their Autistic child
Parents of Autistic children who really need the HELP, please by all means call your local Health department TODAY and ask about the EDCD waiver. it could take months to get the Ball rolling. The EDCD waiver looks to be a HUGE Loop Hole for Autism care. and i know PARENTS need all the help they can get with a low functioning Autistic... bless your hearts everyone...........

Phoenix is potty trained, he can dress himself, though sometimes his clothes are backwards. he can go in the snack drawer and help himself to the raisins.
Phoenix just being able to do those things would make him ineligible for the waiver.

I will tell you, when i was on the phone with the Health department, researching the EDCD waiver, the lady at the Health department blew me away. She asked " what kind of Autism does your Son have?" .................. UH???????? uh? uh?
i drew a blank. i said "I dont know?"
the High Function Autistic diagnoses Left my mind.. and i honestly dont think about what type of autism Phoenix has........ i do know he is CRYSTAL.............

well, i finally remembered to Ask Phoenix's Early childhood teacher about Occupational Therapy at school. Phoenix has a lot of sensory issues, but he did not qualify for Occupational Therapy because of his ability to draw and write. I just looked at his Teacher with wonder.. WTH.. REALLY? this must be a part of the High functioning autism Spectrum rainbow... i asked Phoenix's teacher. " is that Good he didnt qualify?" she said YES...

all their eyes

Phoenix and I went to Walmart to gather some groceries after Speech Therapy today. We were buzzing through Walmart just like usual. Phoenix was in the square part of the cart, just minding his business looking at all the people and of course the Giant Wall of Candy beside him. then, we approached an elderly silver hair man. he looked at me and then to Phoenix sitting in the cart. He looked me in the Eyes and said to me " GOD BLESS YOU, god bless you and your SON! i just rolled my son away as quick as i could. I thought to myself LOUDLY " That Just Happened. JESUS CHRIST!"
Well, bring it on.gimmie More... HA... give ME all your Blessings... I will take them thank you.
But i will will tell you this...
it can be humbling, it can be amazing, and just down right unnerving. and People wonder about me, ALL the time...I keep everything so secret, when you meet me face to face. i will look you in the eyes but that is ALL. I have lived in this town for three years and i know NO one but They All Know me.. could you imagine that?.. it will be Summer soon, and i will begin covering my face again with Giant hats and BLAck sunglasses, the mountain Sun stings my face, the more I Cover Up, the more i will stick out... and that it Turn will make phoenix stick out.. OH, and when i go to Phoenix's school to Pick him up, its feels like the entire town is there Picking up their kids... I just want to RUN the other way, but instead i get to Walk Past All the Parents waiting in the Hallway for the BELL to ring. Phoenix's Early Childhood Class is in the middle of the school, so, i get to walk past all these People to get to my Phoenix. and when I get him, I have to walk Past the People again. this alone drives me mad... I feel ALL their EYES.........
if you are wondering how or why these people know me,or even my name..... I wonder the same thing.....but, i could blame this on my husband.. I could...
okay, so back to Autism and the Crystal baby, i think a little http://eternalsunshineofthesplitmind.blogspot.com/ came out on the page.. whoopsie..
Phoenix is doing okay other than kicking and biting... in class.. his report card actually read that.. I couldnt believe it. but okay.. his early childhood class is going okay except story time in the library. phoenix hates it, he cant sit still through storytime. Phoenix's teacher explained to me that most four year olds have a hard time sitting still.. hmmm i agree.
next year Phoenix will begin math, because he loves numbers and shapes so much.. i believe he will benefit from learning something he enjoys..

Say No to Chocolate Candy

the Easter bunny payed a visit to Phoenix on Sunday. Now, every child needs a Chocolate Bunny on Easter. its the American Way. SO I THOUGHT! Phoenix totally LEFT the building. For days after he ate his Chocolate bunny he was a totally different child. He cried and pouted for every moment of the day unless he was sleeping or taking a drink from his cup.
me and his dad could not figure out what was wrong with Phoenix. He couldnt even use his words...
Finally on Wednesday Phoenix returned Home. It was amazing watching him come to me. His WORDS were flowing again and then it dawned on me. That damn Easter Candy. His basket only contained one small pack of skittles, 1 chocolate bunny, and some kool aid looking powder with a stick. And that's what caused it...... Phoenix's skin rash even returned... it was a messy couple of days. but, WE made it and learned a valuable lesson about chocolate and candy. SAY NO!
For all the Autistic crystal Mothers and Fathers, I wonder if you have ever experienced anything like what we experience with Candy. from Now on Phoenix will be receiving boxes of raisins in his Easter basket.

Hair cut

It was time for Phoenix's hair to be cut. Phoenix's hair when long is straight and thin. and his hair get tangles so easy. the only solution for his hair was a Hair cut. Now, taking Phoenix to a salon or barber shop for his hair cut is out of the question. His autism would show big time, and i could not risk someone poking my son in the eyes with scissors. I could not imagine the immense melt down that would happen. Which autistic children are known for...
well, whats a mom to do. Cut his hair myself. i couldnt stand looking at that rats nest anymore
One evening last week after his shower, i tried to cut it. snip, scream,snip scream, you would have thought i was stabbing him with the scissors. I managed to cut some of his hair but noway near a decent looking hair cut. so, the next evening at after his shower, i cut a little more, still the same, snip, scream, snip scream. thank goodness this haircut happened during his Easter break from school. geez. i believe it took around four days to get his hair cut right... well, at least that's done. but with his temper fits i was so worried about the scissors, but we both made it through the hair cut and tomorrow when Phoenix goes back to school, he will look like the rest of the children.

Passover Begins Again.......... Our Autistic sons

Passover begins today. I think back to Ancient times when the Israelites Painted their Doors to protect their first born sons. and then i think of Autism.
Autism affects 1-70 boys. Is Autism a great curse from long ago? Autism is taking revenge against our sons. Could Autism be the biggest Plague of all time? We dont understand why autism strikes One Son and Not another Son. What in the Hell is happening here?
Imagine What happens to a Mother and Father. their toddler son is talking, potty trained, and making plenty of Eye Contact. And Over Night their SON looses the ability to talk, cant use the bathroom, and can not look them in the EYE. Something swooped over the Son and took him away.
this Alone will make you want to Paint your Doorpost During Passover..........
I wonder if God hears Our Cries.
Maybe I should just go paint a giant "A" on my door during Passover

Baby Jesus is Everywhere.. the second coming is now.

good day good evening readers.
I am going to warn you, please read All of my ideas with an Open Mind and Open Heart.
this Idea could come with negative views as Many but Not all Christians are Deep In Religion and not the Spirit.
****************************************************************************************
One day Last week I was Helping Phoenix with hanging up his coat in his Early Childhood Class. and then i happened to look around and their was this little boy with an Autism bracelet headed straight for me. i was bent down helping with Phoenix so I was eye level with this little boy. When this little boy made eye contact with me he ran to me with Open Arms, like he hasnt seen me in years. It was an incredible moment for me. When the little boy hugged me our heart chakras opened together and that's when i felt that familiar energy. that christ energy i had experienced for myself years ago. please read the post below to find out more about my relationship with Jesus and the Christ energy....
with the first eye contact with this little boy, i seem somewhat connected to him. if you have ever been saved by the Christ energy, its very emotional and brings tears to most. and that's what i had felt like. I had been hugged by Christ himself. With Phoenix he holds the Christ Energy , but he is my own Son, and my Love for him overwhelms that energy, and most often Phoenix keeps that Energy of his on LOCK. which is great for All he comes in contact with. he is very particular with who he shares his energy with..Phoenix is a Padawan right now.
what we need to address here is that Christ Energy. Now, Jesus the Man, held the Christ energy. But, Jesus was just a man, plain and simple. can you imagine the pressure Jesus must have felt? holding the Christ energy.
i am beginning to evolve a theory.
in the bible it is says:
The coming of Christ will be instantaneous and worldwide. "For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be." —Matthew 24:27
AUTISM has Arrived in Full force here. is it a coincidence that Autism effects more sons than daughters. i dont know..
Autism is Around the World. and many Autistics are Crystals. these Crystals hold the Christ Energy. I know, from my encounter with Phoenix's classmate. This little boy has hugged me now every time he sees me. Today though.. i was late with Phoenix to school. and the children were at their tables eating .. and The little boy just looked me in the eyes, i winked,, and i thought to him "i love you" then i saw a twinkle in his eyes. his Eyes are a very light Blue.. I felt like he heard me.. telepathic maybe
i wonder? are these autistic crystal children the second coming? They Hold the Christ Energy.
OUR world is in CHAOS... and these crystal Star Children are all over the world. NOW!

Now, Lets review the Seven rays.

The seven rays come out of the white light of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is like a full complement of all of the rays of the Christ consciousness. These rays are noted by the spectrum of colors that we see in the rainbow. you can read more about this in a previous post.

If you are blessed to receive a Hug from an Autistic take it. its like receiving a blessing.

you can read more about the Seven Rays in a previous post.

why the mess?

I dont know if any other parents of autistic children go through this...but my Phoenix loves to dump all of his toys out. All of them. I get so tired of picking up those toys. One by One i would get rid of his wooden blocks. i just could not take picking them up anymore. Phoenix often helps picking up his mess, but still, why does he need to drag out every single toy.
I have learned to get him isolated to One room in the house, so the rest of the house stays Nice and Neat. But, sometimes my husband lets Phoenix down stairs to play.. oh, do i get ill real fast. i dont mean to get that way about it, but Why does Phoenix have to make such a mess. i often refer Phoenix to an f-5 tornado on my facebook status.
gosh, its already April and the first day of Autism awareness month. we have alot to be greatful for. Phoenix the crystal baby..
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that Jesus thing. my confession

*** this post was originally written for my other Blog
http://eternalsunshineofthesplitmind.blogspot.com/
i thought it would serve purpose over here. my early beginnings with the Christ Energy is important to this blog autism and the Crystal Baby.***


ever since i can remember, and that's a long time now.
I have have had a strange spiritual connection to the world.
i do believe that the divine is ALL of our beliefs in one womb of energy.

me and jesus. and God at the nightmares i had. my grandfather being an artist at wood carving gave me this wood carving of the crucifixion of jesus at the age of 11. I treasured it when he gave me the carving, not because of jesus but because my grandfather gave it to me.
I was not raised christian, but everyone else was raised Christian at school. and i thought that was the way.
when i arrived home with the carving , i hung it up in my wall with great pride.
maybe a few years went by, and then one day the dreams started or should i say nightmares.
my confession..
i would dream and dream of the crucifix that my grandfather carved me. and then oneday, the crucifix carving of jesus began falling off the walls and shattering into pieces. i would awake and see the crucifix still hanging on the wall. the dreams would continue and haunt me. recurring once a week.. could you imagine the fear i had? i was dreaming of jesus shattering to the floor..
it was just awful. i had no one to talk to.. in my young mind, i did not understand why this beloved jesus kept terrifying me.
i decided to go to church with my little friends as a way to get out of the house, and maybe to get the jesus thing to an understanding. at that time i did not.
several years after that, i found myself pregnant with my first born son. and his aunt at the time insisted that i needed saving through jesus christ the lord and savior. this aunt is paternal, i would like to add..
i remember her sitting me down and her and two older women began praying over me, asking me over and over,, do you take jesus christ as your lord and savior? and i just said "YES!"
now, this was a turning point for me in my life spiritually. I actually felt Jesus , but what happened next is odd.. Jesus only decided to enter my spirit partially. I felt him, but he did not save me. I remember in my mind, "this is NOT right" and Jesus exited from me.
i did not speak EVER of this, letting the women know i was okay...
i went on for years, kinda lost spiritually...
then believe it or not, strangely witchcraft came into my life... witch craft spiritually fed me. i learned to meditate and get a grasp on my energy. I was told Once in a coven full moon gathering, that I could move mountains with that energy. I did not understand that either.
my life was full of fairies, and gnomes, and i was adored by the Gods. as, i have been my entire life....
one afternoon in my mid twenties i was in the middle of an afternoon nap. i was drifting between the veils of the world....... and then. Jesus appeared to me in my home. i did not know what to do?? my eyes were beholding Jesus Christ,i remembered that christ energy from when i was"saved" so, i just bowed on my knees. I thought that was what i was suppose to do. Right?
I remember looking up to Jesus, and Jesus shook his head NO at me, he didnt speak but his intentions came through my spirit, jesus said" stand up child. and look at me in the Eyes. and i did. what was jesus telling me? maybe i didnt have to bow.
i knew after that i had a solid relationship with Jesus. But not as a Christian. funny....Right?
or if you are Christian you are probably praying for me as we speak. if you think you heard laughter you did.... it was me!
i dont think there are many christians who can say they have had a Face to face with Jesus!
if i am ever asked about being christian? i always say, i am not christian, but i know Jesus really well. tadaaaa
I cant be a Christian, i do not believe Jesus wanted the church to become a business, and put fear into people. Jesus just wanted Love and Peace...
on occasion i will meet a person who is naturally connected with pure love for jesus and that's cool, i can beam up that spiritual energy.. i love my abilities. I am able to Tapp All Spiritual energy. why limit yourself, the spirit does not..
plz, readers,christians, and people of all faiths..
take some time today and think about humanity. and our mother earth, she's not very happy right now, and she's been a rumbling....... and that's never good, as we have lost thousands of lives because of it.
send your goodwill thoughts and prayers to the people who need it the most.


in her i know i am one

Hoping for Hope

even though i been feeling like the biggest Bitch lately. i have been so tired..
our world is at a big unrest.. it seems every moment I think of the sadness for Japan. God Bless those people. the earthquake and tsunami devastated to biblical portions for the People of Japan. The Japanese are remarkable, at the showing the world Humanity at its best.. sitting together quietly in a shelter trying to to keep warm. it is sad to think at the suffering that is happening...their villages have been left a muddy wasteland.
I will keep Hope in the new Idea of the next generation. the star children. I believe that if we teach these Star Children about the genuine truth, that We are All Humanity.. We are all the same color underneath. We are all People.
what can i do? i can be a good mother to Phoenix. and teach Phoenix tolerance and love to All People. Beginning Phoenix's lesson at home, learning of tolerance and love for his family. Teaching a Crystal child that a family will not always see eye to eye but the love always remains in the Home is a lesson taught daily..
maybe This is just All bigger than Me.
My Hope keeps me going,, the next generations can make a difference in the way we view our world our People,our humanity our hope.
please say a prayer, say a prayer for the Japanese.. and one more for Peace..

the self Model... the Autistic Crystal

let me get my mind right.. its like life has been a blur.

Phoenix has been attending his weekly private speech therapist. and during a recent session she recomended for Phoenix to begin self modeling. I think to myself WTH.. she asked me" do you have a video camera?" i think,,,,,,,, NO, i dont have a video camera... uh.. how much is a camera,, i ponder,, one more thing to buy... but... Phoenix's father was very happy to purchase a new electronic device to play with.. Self modeling is a video or picture of the child doing an action or learning an objective. and replaying, so the child can see himself and remember.
After Phoenix's birthday, we wanted to take him on a special trip to the ZOO. Phoenix is such the worshipped child by his father. Anything is his wish....
I was worried Phoenix would stray during the trip, and i did the unthinkable. I purchased for my Crystal Baby, A........ monkey backpack leash. the monkey is a little backpack with a zipper and the tail of the monkey serves as the Leash.
Safety....safety First.. then team work.. ;) I believe it was the best thing i ever purchased. we took Phoenix to see the Dinosaurs and gem stones, crystals and of course "The Hope Diamond"
Phoenix did not experience an overload or melt down around the ancient rocks and stones.
he had a great time, seeing an experiencing,different people and things.....
maybe his father kept him grounded.. idk. but it was fantastic.
Phoenix would point to the Giant elephant in the museum and say "look a there , elephant"
the day was recorded on the new video camera....

when we returned back to the hotel, Phoenix and his father went to the indoor pool for a swim. shew, when Phoenix entered the room the entire Pool was in, he screamed LOUD.
but when we he got in his father's arms and into the warm pool. he calmed down. it was late in the evening and it was just the two of them in the Pool. I was watching and recording phoenix swimming and jumping in the pool, it was self model time... I must say it was very serene looking on at father and son. i felt very much in the connected spiritual world.. heaven for me..

the next day we spent at the Zoo, father,son AND just me...A dream come true, really.
myself and my husband and one triangle loving four year old.

IEP spells Disaster

Happy Birthday to the little Phoenix!! He is now four years Old. I cant believe the Child is even here.. who would have believed in this miracle ten years ago.. that would have been no one but me................
with a birthday for Phoenix, comes his annual IEP meeting. and IEP is short for Individualized Education Program........ He has been in the public school system for one full year. If you asked if i saw any difference in him. IDK.. really? Phoenix is a different child when he is home, his mind seems to have no limits except in speech. he absorbs all the information around him in remarkable rates. Phoenix has learned some basic shapes, square, triangle, rectangle.. he will hold up the shape and name it and count the sides... but, then... One day at a Stop Sign, Phoenix looked at the Stop Sign and said " octagon " and counted to eight. I just shook my head..... What else is in that mind of his and he cant make words come out............ he has named shapes for his school speech therapist, it seems there has to be level of trust, between Phoenix and who ever he is sharing what he knows with.... Imagine...if he could tell you what he saw in his mind and dreams.
back to the IEP meeting...... Phoenix's Early Childhood teacher,School Speech Therapist, the Principle, and the JK teacher was there. I was good with Phoenix's progress and the IEP that the public school was offering. Until I realized why the JK teacher was there! the continuing plan for Phoenix is this. He will finish Early childhood class when he is five years old. He will Not be in a Special Education Class but into the JK class. I could not believe what i was hearing, Phoenix was going to be Held back, before he even enters kindergarten.
or he could go to the local Autism Center......... the principal said.....
UGG.. i felt mortally wounded.......... All because Phoenix is lacking Social Skills........ Damn, DAMN, Damn.. I thought.......
my first instinct was I wanted to Move! and sadness came over me............ I know Its crazy but its true.
but maybe just maybe, JK wont be too bad, At least the choice isnt mine to make.........
and the Goal of main steaming Phoenix will happen........... UP AND DOWN, goes the Emotions of an Autistic mother.........

Pisces and Karmic Astrology

The typical Pisces Karmic destiny is one of change, variation and sudden shifts of fortune from good to bad. You may be on the top of the world one day, then slip into a a reverse and find yourself scraping the bottom.

The ancients knew of this Karmic burden carried by Pisces, but it is the twelfth house of the Zodiac, called the house of misfortune and self undoing. But take heart, your highly sensitive nature is intuitive and highly developed spiritually.

The symbol of your sign is two fishes-one swimming upstream and one swimming downstream. You can reduce your Karmic debts by making up your mind that you will constantly aim yourself towards the heights of idealism, beauty and good. In this way you will direct your concentration on swimming upstream.

Your ruling planet is Neptune, the sign of mystery that rules nebulous, strange phenomena and the dream world of unreality. You are changeable, vacillating, uncertain and often misdirected by people who are close to you.

Yet this sign is one of the most intuitive, psychic and spiritual of all the signs in the Zodiac. When you choose the upward path, overcome your tendency to daydream and escape responsibility.

You often sacrifice for others. Members of your family and your friends know they can depend on you; because of your kindness and inability to say "No", they often use you and abuse you. This can often bring difficulties as you do not want to believe that people can be evil or that they can harm you. When you do discover that you have been betrayed, you suffer deep hurt and become extremely disillusioned.

Pisces people are fascinated by the mystical things in life. You usually investigate astrology, metaphysics, Yoga teachings, meditation, psychic phenomena, spiritual healing and related subjects. You are a mystic in the true sense of the word.

Because of this tendency towards escapism, you may find yourself unable to cope with practical reality; problems regarding finances, romance, marriage and work often swamp you.

Your Karmic destiny is to build an inner spiritual strength and to rise above the physical and material forces of life. You will be guided to your right destiny if each day you withdraw into quiet meditation and ask for guidance from your higher psychic mind centers.

You tend to be touched by compassion for the suffering of humanity and you constantly strive to relieve the pain of others. The sign of Pisces has a great deal of personal magnetism to those born under this mysterious power.

Romance for Pisces

Your sign is very magnetic; you have a great ability to attract those who love you and want to be romantically involved. This is a great asset but sometimes can be troublesome.

Never rush into marriage until you have known the person for at least a year. Use this trial period to test the other person's character in various situations. You are highly sensitive to the moods of others so try to avoid people who are moody or depressed.

The signs of Capricorn and Taurus are too stubborn and hardheaded for you. They might shock you with their regimentation and outright actions.

The air signs Libra, Gemini and Aquarius might be too changeable and independent for your sign.

You are romantically attracted to those born in the water signs. Scorpio is an excellent sign for you, being loyal, romantic and passionate. But avoid a Scorpio who is not highly developed. They can sting you with their sarcasm.

The water sign of Cancer is good for Pisces. These people are highly sensitive, emotional and idealistic. But do not choose a Cancer who is overly moody and depressed.

With the earth sign of Virgo, your opposite, there will be attraction and detraction.

The signs of Leo, Aries and Sagittarius, all fire signs, should be avoided by Pisceans. They tend to be too strong and dominant for you sensitive, highly emotional nature.

The emotional water sign of Pisces is the sign of patience and tolerance for all people.

Brightest of Blessings,
Lory

Lory Woortman is a writer, water color artist and garden designer. Lory is interested in the study of quantum physics, Norse Myths and Religion. She lives in a small country town in North East Pennsylvania with her writer husband, Ellis and her little dog Dixie. Lory has a blog and written many articles that are "Free," pertaining to Norse Mythology, Shamanism, Runes and Quantum Physics.

http://mistressofenchantment.blogspot.com/

http://www.olevikingshop.builderspot.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lory_Woortman

Cure Autism

this story has been lurking in my mind for months now so here it is..... one day i was in a parking lot and i glanced at the car beside me, and there was a " cure autism ribbon" on her car. i thought to myself, "CURE AUTISM really? " and the thought of curing Autism boggled my mind.. but then Last night I realized maybe the "Cure" would be for the lost fathers out there. As mothers we seem to understand Our autistic Sons . but for the fathers and dads out there.. i wish the cure would be for the father's hearts to be healed. Autism effects a father deeply.. dreams,, a fathers dream for their son to be in their own image...
As Phoenix grows his speech continues to improve. but not fast enough for Phoenix's father. i feel awful for my husband when a Typical child is around him and Phoenix. IT is So Very clear the difference.. and i feel my husbands hurt.... Please find a cure for that Pain.
Phoenix on the other hand is fine. he is talking and is almost Potty trained. Phoenix is Crystal and we cant cure that either......... Sensory is crazy... if you have a crystal child as sensitive as mine, bless your heart.
today is the first day of April... its Autism awareness month... if you are lucky enough to receive a hug from an autistic crystal child... take it.. its very close to heaven..